Impossible
by pinkydog123
Summary: Edward is one of Bella's College Professors. Let's see how this will end. E/B All-human
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, this is a REVISED version, nothing is taken out, just added, I went back and edited this and gosh dang did I find out a lot of typos, and for that I'm terribly sorry.**

**Here's the same chapter, just improved, I'd like to think.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Feel free to review.**

**All links to the clothes worn in this Fic are in my profile.  
**

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I was nervous to say the least.

Terrified.

After all, it was my first day of college, I'm sure that would make anyone nervous, especially considering if their first class started in 5 minutes.

That said class turning out to be British Lit.

Of course by now I had already taken a seat in the middle of the class, not quite brave enough to take the front. And not patient enough to take the back, suffering the fact that I wouldn't be able to hear at all, as if that were the most pressing issue at the moment.

That's probably just over exaggerating.

I continue to remain quiet, my arms grasping at my front in effort to stay warm in this clammy classroom, our Professor smoothly striding in the room at approximately 10AM a messenger back slung across his torso. His back faced the room while he starts to write his name across the board in elegant script, putting my sloppy hand writing to shame; not that it wasn't already.

I can tell he isn't very old, his frame lean, with a decent amount of muscle lining the bands of his back, perhaps more than decent from my position of the room. Our Professor was dressed in black slacks and a forest green sweater, accompanying the chilly weather outside, overcast and rainy. The green accenting the strands of copper in his hair, maybe I was paying too much attention to all of this.

I'd taken classes before, and none of them included me contemplating the exact pigment on the color spectrum that would put into consideration the accurate name of whatever shades the Professor's hair ended up being.

That thought was defiantly emphasized when he turned around. And to think this class was going to be difficult from the start.

This only seemed to make things more tortuous.

He was perfect, that would be the easiest way to describe his appearance, it was almost unreal.

His complexion was pale, almost translucent, matching mine, which was pretty rare, but his skin still looked softer, smoother; more flawless somehow. Making his hair shine even more, making anyone forget it kept the messy quality that it had, probably no matter how he tried to tame it.

But what kept me staring the longest was his eyes, glistening every time his lips moved, sparkling in the light, making me realize that he was speaking, in the first place. I must've been hallucinating; he will end up being a 60 year old man; this is what I get for skipping out on breakfast.

"- you may call me Professor Cullen, I do not, or will not expect anything else, I trust you all have picked up the next book I plan for us to all read this coming week?"

His whole presence kept the rooms attention and he conducted the class well, highly emphasizing that he had no time for bullshit. I bet he was used to this, students maybe thinking since he was closer to our age he would be more lenient, or an easy push over, but his stature, specifically now, commanded unparalleled superiority. I wouldn't have been surprised if he leaped on top of the desk, puffed out his chest and started beating it with his fists.

I tried not to drool at the image.

When he said this so bluntly, his eyes automatically turned hard and cold, I didn't like the difference at all. But they soon turned back to the amazing, softer emerald, mixing in with the shirt, making the color of his sweater look bleak to the shine in his own eyes.

When I realized I had been staring, when he instructed us to read the first three chapters-here, in class-his eyes shot up and connected with mine.

I immediately flushed taking in the full strength he carried in his gaze,

"Did you have a question, Miss….?"

"Miss Swan." I swallowed, suddenly flustered, I felt like such an idiot, like a teenager who had a crush. Now he would probably have the mind to think I was fresh out of high school.

His eyebrows rose expectantly, making me realize I had yet to answer a question of his,

"Um, no, no I don't."

After a few humiliating moments, his attention was diverted somewhere else and I was off the hook, feeling like a total and complete moron after all the gawking I had been doing, and to my College Professor no doubt!

No matter how hard I tried, I could not concentrate on the words in front of me, all I could do is follow, Cullen, in my peripheral vision, he had told us to read and while the students did, he started to write several poems on the board at the front of the class, they were beautiful of course, his elegant script emphasizing the fact.

When he was finished, he turned, clearing his throat to gain everyone's attention.

"Now, I have written several poems on the board, all by British poets, I would like each of you to pick two, and translate them in today's language, since they have defiantly changed over the centuries…than, I would like you all to express how that poem reaches you and perhaps, if you can determine what the poet themselves were feeling and thinking when they wrote them. I want it no less than 3 pages, you may type it, print it out and hand it to me here in class, or e-mail it to me by the due date on your syllabus. I will accept no late work whatsoever, I prefer it to be e-mailed in an attachment, but I will take either one."

After, he had made sure everyone understood the assignment, he dismissed us, thankfully.

I hurried to gather my things, obviously in a rush to just get out of there, and leave him behind in the room. But in my hurry, I accidentally flipped my bag upwards as I hastily flung the strap on my shoulders causing everything that was possibly in it, to tumble to the ground, and quite loudly.

Hell.

Could I do anything right?

I stood there for a second, sulking until I finally kneeled down to pick up all my junk.

It wasn't long until I heard footsteps towards me, and then, black loafers appeared in front of me. This just makes everything worse; this guy must think I'm a total moron.

This amazingly gorgeous guy, none the less.

"In need of help?" he mused, kneeling down to help me, I couldn't help but notice how our knees kept brushing against each other, making it impossible for me to even concentrate on what I was picking up and flinging in my bag.

His comment only causing my cheeks to flare hotter. I thought it best just to keep my head down, allowing my hair to shield off my face and ghastly crimson cheeks. Since he must've thought I was a total retard, lacking any kind of social skills, he decided to break the silence between us.

"You had me thinking…" he began, handing me a Calculus book, he was thinking about me, in particular? Separately?

I finally met his eyes, was that a mistake.

They were practically smoldering, literally emeralds dancing as they looked at me, a soft smile grazing his perfect, red, full lips.

I really had to stop thinking this way about my teacher.

"….and I was still wondering if you had a question for me to explain, or not?"

He showed a flash of perfect white teeth as he said this, already making me feel conscious about mine.

He really had a way of lowering your self-confidence, perhaps, no, always whenever you were around him.

"Oh—" I blurted, my face melting from the heat, after realizing what I had just did, I just felt like I had to say something, since I hadn't said anything.

"No—I have a comment, I guess," I added shyly, finally done picking up all my crap.

We both stood up at the same time and I was temporally taken aback by how he seemed to tower over me, especially since this is the first time I've actually stood by him.

"I'd love to hear it," he continues, funny, he actually seems interested. He has to be wondering how they even let me into an Ivy-League School, with how I've been acting.

I shake my head,

"Oh, well, it's really nothing; I just like the poems you chose."

His smile brightens and I can't believe he's still talking to me, isn't he busy? Does he have another class? Doesn't he have more important things to do?

"Well-the assignment should be easy for you than, no?"

My eyes follow his left hand as it reaches up to combed through the messy locks of his hair, he's just too gorgeous for his own good, and does he know that?

No, probably if he did, he'd be cocky arrogant, but no, he didn't seem that way.

I point to the door like an idiot,

"I really must be going," I conclude, anticipating my next class. Something moves within his eyes but I can't place it.

"Yes, of course-Isabella."

I freeze and a beautiful chuckle rings out of his throat, god, I wanted to hear that again.

"Role, you are part of my class, so you'd be on the attendance list."

His smile is almost sexy, and it makes me jittery, signaling that it is way past due to flee, even though I want to pathetically stay here and talk, he seems to think the same way, but that's just my ego speaking.

His face seems to sober after he realizes this also, he turns around and rifles through papers on his desk, completely ignoring my fleeing form as I walk out of the classroom.

Even after I walked out of the building, heading back to my dorm, I still couldn't control the beating of my heart, it was still pounding in my chest, this was impossible, it's not like he had any interest in me to begin with, neither did I have a chance in hell that I could be with him, even if he did feel anything towards me, which he didn't.

Anyway, he was probably already taken, someone that gorgeous, he had to be, and if he wasn't, than there just wasn't any chance for the rest of us.

I shivered as the crisp, cold air whipped around me, fanning through my hair, causing my pace to quicken, to escape the chill. As desperate and pathetic as I was, I needed to tell someone, I need someone's opinion, and of course, there was only one person I could think of….

"Oh come on Bella! Just tell me, please! What is it?" Alice squealed I knew this would happen, after I made her promise not to tell anyone else.

I threw my bag on my bed and plopped along with it, Alice following suit, my roommate defiantly gets over excited most of the time, she was tiny, but still stored so much energy, which didn't quite make sense to me.

But still, she was my best friend, I could tell her anything, which explains why I was about to tell her this, something bizarre, and defiantly against the rules, not that anything would happen anyway.

"Okay, do you know who the British Lit. Professor is?" I decided to start out slow, so she could get every detail, and then that way, maybe she could really decipher what was going on, or if it was just my over active imagination, most likely the second.

Alice was always good with things like this, I, of course, wasn't.

"You mean Professor Cullen? He's so gorgeous," she gushed, already getting off the subject, well, no, this kind of had something to do with my whole dilemma…

"Do you know he's only 26?"

This caused me to get off task,

"Really?" After all, I had just turned 21; he wasn't that much older than me at all.

She bobbed up and down on the bed,

"Yep! It's so hard to concentrate in his class; I have him for English Lit. All I seem capable of doing is just watching _him_."

"Yeah," I sigh, like the pathetic lovesick teenager I was turning out to be. "He's so intimidating though-" I sobered up,

"Have you actually talked to him?" she asked, excitement bubbling up in her words once again. I nodded biting my lip and a wide smile streaked across her face,

"I felt like a complete idiot when I did though," I concluded, rolling my eyes, my face turning hot also.

"What did you say? What did he do?" I rolled my eyes.

"Well, you know me, when he dismissed us, I was so desperate to leave, that I dropped my bag, spilling _everything,_" I emphasized. "he came over and helped me, and I felt so close to him, like he was leaning towards me on purpose, I don't know, and then after we stood up, it was like he wanted to keep talking to me, as if he didn't want me to leave." I rolled my eyes again, listening to how stupid and idiotic it all sounded.

"He must like you." Alice concluded, but I shook my head, it was impossible.

"Alice, come on, I mean, you've _seen_ him, he's just _too _good looking, I haven't the slightly chance, and besides, it's completely unethical, he's a _teacher_, a College Professor, not that he's even interested in me to begin with."

Alice looked upset,

"Bella, I hate the fact that you don't give yourself nearly enough credit, you are beautiful you know, I wouldn't be surprised if he did like you."

I felt suddenly depressed, it seems like _always _the person I liked never returned the same feelings, and this was just another guy that this happened.

Alice smiled,

"I'm so _jealous_ of you Bella," she mused.

"Professor Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan," she played out.

"Edward?" I question, even my name sounded boring and plain next to his.

"Yeah, he is originally from Britain, I think, graduated from Oxford, ironically enough, he sounds like he'd be the hero out of an old classic novel, one with a lot of money and stunning features," she giggled.

"Yeah, and one whose completely unattainable," I added grimly.

"Come on Bella, remember Pride & Prejudice? Mr. Darcy? He was filthy rich and unattainable, or at least seemed to be, and yet he still fell in love with Elizabeth Bennet."

Alice always trying to cheer me up,

"When do you have him again?"

"I have him on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, nine o'clock," I sighed; I had to wait a whole other day to see him again.

"And besides, Mr. Darcy loved Elizabeth all along, that doesn't count," I argued back.

But Alice basically stopped my heart by squealing.

"Oh my god! I can't believe I almost forgot! Remember? They're having an orientation party tonight; they have it every year for freshmen and transfers, its tonight! And _Edward_ is going to make a presentation and everything," she giggled.

I do remember, because I wasn't going to go, parties weren't really my thing, but, maybe I could go, just to see Professor Cullen.

"We _have _to Bella!" she emphasized, "I know just what you're going to wear!" I groaned at the sound of that.

After I had returned from my last class of the day, Alice attacked me with everything she had to alter my appearance, for the best, I hope.

"I love you Alice—but I just wish you'd be done by now," I complained, as she poked and prodded at my eyelashes.

"Be still—Bella or your makeup won't turn out _exactly _how I want it, and no peaking, "she warned.

"Don't make it over exaggerated, please, Alice, this is just supposed to be casual," I grumbled. "It's no big deal to begin with," I added.

"Shush." She commanded, retrieving an industrial strength hair dryer, I just hope she doesn't sear my hair off. I groaned as she continued picking at me. I'll probably just see him across the room and he, himself won't even see me, there for, this was a complete waste of time.

"And besides, what you think is dressing up, is practically every day wear for everyone else," she argued back, trying not to gauge my eyes out while coating my eyelashes with mascara.

"Okay! Finished!" she beamed, "Okay, now I'll get you your clothes and we'll be off!"

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	2. Chapter 2

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We both entered the Common Room, it had already been going on for fifteen minutes, and there was already a good amount of people there. I saw quite a few Professors, chatting casually with some of the other students, but not the Professor I was looking for. At least Alice made me feel a little bit more confident by picking out something comfortable, but still nice. She had chosen, tight fitting jeans, but still snug, and a cozy, black, turtle neck sweater that was pretty slimming, my hair waving down my back.

My anxiety going away when I felt the ballet flats that Alice thankfully let me put on, for a second I thought she would make me wear something with heels. At least I won't be tripping and falling all over the place, but I'd still probably manage, even with these.

Alice giggled in excitement as she spotted her boyfriend across the way; she immediately bounced over to him, not hesitating when she embraced him in a lip lock.

Geez, they only met 3 days ago too.

How was it so easy for her? I thought with a pang in my chest, but still happy for her of course.

I sighed and decided to go and get something to drink, already thinking this was a mistake, I grabbed a glass of wine, which was probably for the Professors, but no one was there to stop me, and I didn't care _who_ it was for.

I took a long sip and turned, to run smack dab into someone. I gasped as my glass collided with his shirt, spilling the scarlet liquid all over it.

"Shit! I'm sorry!"

I never fail to show how clumsy and pathetic I can be.

A chuckle filled the air between us and I froze my face paling at the sound.

Ah, hell.

My eyes slowly climbed up his well-defined chest to meet his emerald eyes, they weren't full of anger like I expected them to be, anyone's common reaction to something wet being poured all over themselves when it shouldn't be especially something that had the potential to ruin their shirt; a very expensive looking one at that.

"I believe that wine is for the Professors, which, now you got all over me," amusement, playing across his face, his eyes literally dancing as they took in my expression, which was probably horror, not a very, attractive, expression, something, he defiantly was right now.

"I—God, I'm, I'm so sorry," I shook my head, turning around to find a napkin, setting the stupid glass back on the table. But his hand on my arm stopped me; this cannot be good for me, his warmth spread all over my skin, even through the thick fabric of my sweater.

"No, no, it's quite alright."

I turned around to take in the damage, Ha! It was not all right! He was wearing a white button down shirt, no doubt, which only made his skin look perfect against the contrast of his vanilla complexion, but the wine literally went _every_where.

I looked up at him skeptically,

"I don't see how _that_ is all right."

He shook his head at me, as if I was missing something that was completely obvious, that caused my eyes to trail up to his hair, really looking at him once that night, it was in less of a mess, but still looked wonderful either way, the dim lights around us only causing a glow to shine upon his hair causing the lighter strands to stand out even more, I felt the undeniable need to comb my fingers through it, but I resisted, I had to, unless I wanted to look like a total idiot, which I probably already put on display for him to see anyway, yeah, why not? At least I would be benefiting from it.

My heart ached pathetically; I had no chance in the world with him.

"I have a clean shirt in my office, you see, so don't worry," he mused, his hand moving from my arm finally, I didn't want him to stop touching me, ever, I realized with up ending sadness.

I nodded, "Well, go, I don't want you to look as bad as I feel." That could never happen. Surprisingly this statement caused him to laugh, it was smooth and soft, like velvet, god, I wanted him to do it again.

"That's probably the best idea, I wouldn't want to give a speech with a stain like this, and it wouldn't really be sending 'the right message' do you think?" he smiled crookedly, I could only stare dumbly, his smile, of course, was beautiful, like everything else about him. I nodded, not knowing what else to do, my face started to burn at that fact.

"Hey! Bella!"

I sighed, I never thought I'd say this, but thank god for Alice and her exuberance.

"Bella, me and—oh…" she stopped suddenly by my side, Jasper trailing behind.

Professor Cullen put on a polite smile,

"Alice…correct?" She nodded in excitement, her head basically bobbing up and down.

"Professor Cullen," she giggled, and yet, second thought, maybe not.

His gaze landed on mine once again, "Maybe I'll run into you again," he commented, before leaving to his office, I could only assume. My heart leaped, feeling suddenly insecure. Alice gave me the widest smile humanly possible,

"You are so wrong; you know there's got to be something there."

For a second I almost forgot Jasper was there, when he walked from behind Alice, I felt bad for ignoring him.

"Hey Jasper."

He quietly waved, his other hand cupping Alice's, I have to say, it seems like she made the right choice, they seemed, right for each other, his calmness balancing out her exuberance. He seems really protective of her, which was odd, like I said, they've only known each other for three days, I just wish I had something like that, I thought with a sigh.

I stepped forward, only to slip, I would've bashed my head on the table if Jasper didn't step out to catch me, it only made me like him more.

"Phew—thanks." I breathed, glancing down to see what caused me to slip, if not just my feet. It was a pile of index cards, about four or five, I knelt down to pick them up. Words were scrawled all over them; front and back, I immediately noticed the flawless script. It was _his_ speech, he said he would be giving it to all the new students tonight; they must've fallen out of his pocket when we crashed into each other.

"What are they?" Alice wondered, peering over my shoulder.

"Um….Alice, I'll be right back." I stated, heading for the door.

"Well…ok, give me all the details when you get back!" she said behind me, I could hear the smile in her voice; so, she knew what they were after all.

I hurried along in the dark, yes, I realize I could've waited for him to return, but I wasn't sure when he gave his speech and he could be missing them by now. Ok, those were obviously just excuses, I could just face facts, the fact that I wanted to talk to him again. My face burned as my steps felt less determined, what was I doing? What was I getting myself into? What was I setting myself up for? Only rejection.

It would only hurt more if I allowed myself to hope.

Sadness crept up on me by this thought, because it was true, I was letting myself become hopeful, about a College Professor, which was no way interested in someone like me, he surpassed me in so many things, age, intellect, maturity, and overall personality most likely.

I finally made it to the building where his class was, and walked upstairs to his classroom door, it was slightly cracked, so I didn't bother knocking, the class was dark, but light was streaming in from his office, for a minute I hesitated, debating whether or not to turn around and wait for him, but I ignored it, I hardly ever did things on impulse, I decided to start now. I made my way across the room, my heart ready to burst from my chest as I neared the door.

But it completely stopped when I reached the doorway, I thought about turning around, but my feet were locked in place and would not move, my face burned intensely, and I couldn't help but watch as he rummaged through the drawer in his desk, shirtless.

Reminding me just how perfect he really was, his chest was well defined, pale, but so smooth and beautiful, his abs prominent, but not exaggerated, his arms were lean and yet strong as they moved, he turned his back to me, for he had found his shirt, and I was stuck as I watched the muscles of his back smooth, and flex and scrunch under his soft skin as he pulled on his clean, pressed shirt. There was no way I could look away from him, but I knew it was a mistake to have stayed when he suddenly turned around.

He froze, surprised, his shirt still open, it was green, of course, making his startled eyes all the more magnificent.

"Isabella…." He swallowed, I immediately dropped my head, but before I did, I could've sworn his cheeks had turned the slightest pink.

I felt horrified that he had caught me, basically gawking at him.

"I'm sorry, I—" I turned around, already half way to the door; I just needed to leave, leave and go back to my room.

"No, wait…"

I stopped, not even hesitating, yes, of course I wanted to leave, but face it, he was telling me to wait, he wanted me to stay _after_ he caught me staring at him, I couldn't help but do whatever he asked. I turned around to see him standing at his office's doorway, his long pale fingers gracefully starting to button up his shirt, it took everything in me not to walk up and do it myself.

What the hell was wrong with me! I was only going to humiliate myself further, if that were even possible, god I needed something alcoholic.

He glanced down quickly at his shirt, before meeting my gaze,

"Was there something you wanted?"

My breathing wouldn't slow down and I just wish my face would stop burning and cool down for once.

"I—well you." I stuttered, god, he _must_ think I'm an idiot, he walked into his office, apparently signally me to follow, no, I didn't want to go in there. My steps were hesitant, timid, my heart pounding in my ribs. When I reached the door, he was folding his stained shirt, my fault, I thought with a sigh.

Hell, was this a long day, I would need about 15 hours of sleep after this, possibly, no probably more. So, I decided to get right down to the point.

"You dropped your index cards—when you bumped into me," I swallowed, hoping my voice sound normal and not squeaky. He looked up at me and I was surprised to see a crooked grin on his lips.

"I told you not to worry yourself so much, but thank you, none the less," flashing his brilliant teeth. I held them out as he stepped closer to me, I couldn't help but lean closer, to be closer to him, somehow. It probably sounded pathetic, and it had only been a day since I've known him, but I felt drawn to him, in the simplest way I could think of.

"Well, this is the least I could do," I stated softly, his fingers brush and linger over mine as he takes the cards out of my hand.

"Thanks again, for stopping by, it would have been difficult, if not for these," he adds, his lips pushed together in a thin line, as if he was trying not to laugh, was he laughing at me? My confidence decreased as I asked,

"What's so funny?" I couldn't help but smile back when his broke through, it was just too beautiful, no one could hold a straight face around his smile, I'm sure of it.

His cheeks turned a faint pink and I marveled at the sight, what could possibly make him blush?

"At least you didn't get any wine on my slacks; after all, I do have an extra pair of those, as well," he chuckled. My face flamed once again, but I chuckled along with him, yes that would have been way too awkward, especially with someone like me who can't just make a joke and carry on, I was never good with thinking on my feet, surely, he's figured that out by now. His eyes danced as his smile stayed, and I almost didn't want to go back, if I knew I could stay, of course, I would've.

"Have you figured out the two poems you want to work on yet?"

The question kind of threw me off, it was unexpected, after what we were just talking about, I expected him to ask me to leave, or that he needed to go.

Yes, I had.

"Well, only one, 'Sleep' by—"

"Walter de la Mare." He finished for me, as recognition sparked in his strong gaze; he ran his fingers through his hair, as he began to recite:

"_When all, and birds, and creeping beasts_

_When the dark of night is deep,_

_From the moving wonder of their lives_

_Commit themselves to sleep_

_Without a thought, or fear, they shut_

_The narrow gates of sense;_

_Heedless and quiet in slumber turn_

_Their strength to impotence._

_The transient strangeness of the earth_

_Their spirits no more see:_

_Within a silent gloom with drawn,_

_They slumber in secrecy._

_Two worlds they have-a globe forgot,_

_Wheeling from dark to light;_

_And all the enchanted realm of dream_

_That burgeons out of night." _

I stood there, dumbstruck; his voice had turned warm velvet, smooth, soft, and sure as he spoke. His smoldering eyes studied my face and he smiled timidly, making him look much younger.

"Wow—" I began, completely taken aback, I stepped closer to him, it was hard to believe I only found out who he was this morning, it seemed a lot longer.

"That was really beautiful," I smiled, a tear running down my cheek, was I crying? I hadn't even noticed.

"I don't know why, but that has always been my favorite, even before the assignment, that's why I picked it so quickly." I smile again, another tear falling.

"I memorized it for my senior English assignment, we had to memorize one poem, and present it to the class, I knew what to pick because it was the shortest from our choices, if you can believe it—may I?"

At first I didn't know what he was talking about, before I could not, his hand lifted to catch yet another tear that had slid down my cheek. That's when my heart faltered, when he kept his hand there, his eyes had turned soft, and they were the prettiest shade of forest green, glistening as if his eyes were wet as well.

"And it's my favorite." He concluded with an appraising smile. For a moment, I thought he would kiss me, but his eyes darted up the wall, checking the clock, I think.

And then, when he looked back at me, his hand slid away, and his eyes had turned distant and indifferent, lacking the intimacy they had before, as if he had finally realized what he had done.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Okey dokey ^_^ heres the next chap, i hope you guyz like this one, kind of sad, but not really, doesnt get intresting till next chap, but this is still a good one ;) sorry for some typos, and i forgot to type the poems in advance, thanks to Walter de la Mare, they really are beautiful, enjoy!  
**

**plz, would LUV reviews, PLZ!! :D

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Chapter 3--Was my life always this bad?  
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"I should probably go, they're going to be wondering where I am." He concluded, basically telling me to get out. I quietly nodded, feeling like a fool, busting into tears in a teachers office, on the first day.

Have I already told you how pathetic I can be?

I quickly leave, watching my feet to make sure I wont trip and humiliate myself further.

He didn't tell me to wait this time.

I didn't even bother to return to the Common Room, I felt horrible enough already; I just wanted to back to my room, and have a good cry. But the tears were coming earlier than I wanted; they cascaded down my face as I walked across the huge courtyard in the dark, only lanterns in the distance lightning my way. I wanted to curl up and disappear, rejection already setting in, perhaps I was being over dramatic, but I couldn't help it, the tears came and the unending sadness continued.

I finally reached the main dorm building, and hurried up the stairs, hoping no one would see me and that I wouldn't run into any one. Especially anyone I knew. I sighed in relief when I entered my empty room, figuring that Alice was still with Jasper.

I couldn't stop shivering as I stripped, not sure if it was even from the cold, I pulled on baggy sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt, hoping for warmth, I crawled in my warm bed and curled up in a ball, praying that sleep would find me soon.

I woke up at two AM, when Alice came giggling inside, but I wasn't ready to face her, so I pretended I was asleep, until could finally regain unconsciousness yet again.

"Bella? Bella?"

I awoke with a start as Alice shook me awake.

"What? What?" I asked groggily, annoyed she woke me up in the first place; I just wasn't in the mood.

"So!? What happened, did you guys hook up!?" she asked with excitement, as if she thought that something like that was actually possible, as is I actually had a chance to begin with. Alice had never been more wrong.

"NO, we did not 'hook up' let me sleep." I groaned, pulling the covers over my head. She huffed and literally jumped on me, basically cracking my hip bone when she landed on it.

"Damnit! Alice!"

".." she emphasized each word with a n irritating pause.

"Nothing! Nothing happened, okay!? You were wrong! I was wrong! We were all wrong!" I yelled.

Tear welled up at the realization before I could stop them, god was I being so dramatic, Alice is usually the one, not me, he's a teacher for godsake! And I only knew him for a day!

"Oh…Bella."

Alice wrapped her arms around me as I sobbed on her shoulder, figuring to get it out now, for good. And I had to see him tomorrow, just the bitterness in his voice when he told me to leave was so biting when he had been so kind moments before, it was just such a shock, there was no way I was expecting that. It was just so unnerving and the drastic change caught me off guard, leaving me vulnerable, one moment he's cupping my face softly, and than the next, he's telling me to leave, in the harshest tone.

I was so confused.

"You don't have go to class today Bella." Alice assured me, soothing her hand down my back.

"No, I do, I can't miss my second day, and there'd be too much work to make up,"

"I'll get it for ya, ok? Than you can do it another time, don't worry." She soothed, I sighed, Alice could be annoying sometimes, but I loved her, she has her moments.

"Thanks, love you."

"Love you too Bella." She smiled giving me a pat on the head before getting ready to leave; "There's some Roman noodles in case you get hungry." she called before leaving.

At least there's always Alice, I could live with her, and….Jasper, in second thought—no. I chuckle at the mental picture, talk about awkward, me innocently trying to sleep downstairs as they're upstairs, a mysterious banging noise keeping me awake, I snort, shaking the disgusting image from my mind, that's enough for a lifetime.

I snuggle in my bed, burying deeper in the covers, feeling slightly better, it's raining outside, and for once, the steady, unchanging noise, lulls me to sleep.

I take a deep breath as I make my way down the hall; this is it, I think. I step in the room, expecting the worst.

"Hey! Bella!"

I looked up to see Jessica Stanley waving me over, I smile and take a seat beside her, we had met a freshman orientation, but I didn't remember seeing her Monday, our first class.

"Hey where were you Monday?" I asked,

"Out sick, I'm so glad I don't have to bare this hard class alone, is it really as difficult as it sounds?"

Before I can answer, Cullen strides in the room, much like he had the first day, I think with unwanted sadness, its time for me to over this already, jeez.

"Oh. My. God. He's gorgeous!" Jessica whispered beside me. The usual reaction, I guess. I mean, that's basically how I reacted, I just didn't voice to the neighbor beside me.

"Hello, I'll trust that you all have picked both poems by now, I'll be taking them off the board by the end of class."

Jessica raided her arm, "Um, I wasn't here the last time we met, could you possibly tell me what the assignment is after class?" she asked, batting her eyelashes, as if she were flirting, I wanted to smack her. Which was surprising to me, which, normally, I'm not a violent person.

But she was flirting with the Professor! For everyone to see!

"If you'll be patient, I'll tell you after I'm done talking, or I'm sure, Isabella, could tell you what its all about hm?" I flushed, his eyes landing on me, he obviously could tell Jessica's attempt at flirting. But as quickly as they met my gaze, the moved, going somewhere else.

"Oh," Jessica, responded dumbly, and class went on. He ignored me the rest of the period, as Jessica sat by me and sulked, apparently not used to being turned down.

Oh, I was.

He dismissed us and I had never been happier.

"Can I have a word with you?" he asked as I walked past him, in second thought, I wasn't happy.

"I really have to go." I stated, even though I really didn't.

"It will only take a minute." He shot back stubbornly.

So, than he began,

"I counted you absent today." He states nonchalantly.

"What!? I'm obviously right here." I argue, staring into his indifferent, dark, muggy green eyes, what had happened? He was very different from the person I thought he was, he was acting cruel.

"We have assigned seating Ms. Swan, the first day where you sat, is your permanent seat, I take attendance from there, that seat wasn't occupied, so I assumed you weren't here." He shrugged.

"I didn't know." My voice thick, evidentially frustrated, why was he being so rude, and impossible? I could already feel the traitor tears spiking in my eyes, I was just so angry. At first I thought it phased him the slightest, but if I did, it left as quick as it came, his face becoming a blank mask.

"Now you do." He nodded, turning around to leave into his office, slamming his door; I huffed and stomped out, fuming.

Two weeks pass and nothing goes one, when I say nothing, I mean-nothing.

Our assignment he had given was due in a week, he was giving us a considerable amount of time, but I figured there was probably a catch. I hadn't been sleeping very well lately, so the morning before one his classes, I decided to get up and walk down to the Starbucks not far away from campus. I grabbed yoga pants, and kept my longs sleeve shirt on and yanked a hoodie over my head, good to go.

I listened to my converse slap against the wet sidewalk as I made my way to the coffee shop around the corner, wanting to clear my head, the blank, gray sky, seemed to help in doing that, the clean crisp air clearing my lungs as I took in deep breaths of air, the chill wafting across my cheeks, making them red.

This was ridiculous, how could someone, I barely knew, affect me this much? Someone who was acting like a dick for the last couple of weeks, well, after all, I didn't know him, maybe he was that way all the time, and the first day, he seemed to be having a rare good day. I pulled my thick hair back in a pony tail, for it had started to rain, and shook off the thought, just wanting my mind to be blank, I opened the double door to the café.

I walked up to the counter and ordered a tall mocha with extra foam, making me realize, in the quick escape I made of my dorm, desperate not to wake Alice, I had forgotten to grab money on the way out. Smooth move, god am I bright, I really had wanted that coffee.

"That'll be four-fifty Mam."

"Um…I—"

"That'll be on me."

I freeze, at the familiar voice, no, cant be, god doesn't hate me _that_ much.

Does he?

I turn my head slowly to see…emerald eyes.

Yep, god really does hate me.

Well, hell.

He smiled, his eyes brightening, a lot brighter than they had been for the past month, I took the cup anyways, if he wanted to waist his money than fine, I might as well benefit from it.

"Come here often?" he mused, ordering his own, regular coffee, I just glared at him.

"Only when I'm in desperate need of caffeine." I mumbled, not really caring if he can hear me clearly, and he chuckled.

What? Is there something I'm missing in all this?

"I guess that would be anyone's answer."

He sighs, as his eyes meet mine, and I regret to say that they look exactly the same that they did that first day. Not like the past few weeks.

"I have a few questions for you." He states, heading towards any empty table for two, I don't want to follow, I really don't, I try to convince myself, but against my will, I find my body moving towards him anyway. I cant help but follow him though, in his black slacks, and forest green turtle neck, and loafers, he looks like a god, even though he's been acting like a complete ass. And who could forget his unkempt hair? Not red, but not quite brown?

We both take our seats, and I fiddle with my cup, keeping my attention on that.

"I'm sorry," he sighs, surprising me,

"For what? You can take the coffee back if you want to." I state, knowing that that's not what he's apologizing for, but I'm just shocked. He was apologizing now?

"I'm surprised you took it, what with my behavior lately…. it was inexcusable to say the least…." He smiles sheepishly at me, making him look younger and just adorable, but still completely beautiful all at the same time, I sigh inwardly, and I thought I had gotten over him. And I thought I hated him to no end.

He sits up straight and leans on the table, his eyes now intense, and unwavering automatically causing my cheeks to heat up, his mood swings were starting to nauseate me by their speed and rebound. I'm startled by his stare, my eyes growing wide as he continues to scrutinize my face, than, he begins to recite,

"_They slumber in secrecy, _

_Two worlds they have-a globe forgot, _

_Wheeling form dark to light, _

_And all enchanted realm of dream." _

His eyes had glazed over as he recited, his voice turning deep and intimidate, making my face blush by the intensity with which he spoke, more specifically, how he spoke to me. His eyes soon focused on mine,

"That was the Ballad Stanza you turned in Wednesday." It wasn't a question, he was simply stating that, his dark emerald eyes never leaving me, smoldering hot and burning, as hot as my cheeks.

"Yes, "Sleep" by Walter de la Mare." I answer anyway, not knowing what else to do.

"I know you wanted a verse, but that verse, the line I was going to choose, meant so much more with the stanza." I reasoned, he nodded, a soft smile grazing his full lips,

"I guess, I cant count off if you wanted to decipher more than one line, it was a beautiful choice," he concluded, his eyes becoming soft, and I couldn't help but think that he was also telling me something else in his statement. I smile too, thinking that maybe he reall has turned back to the man I met. He sighs, and sobers up when he's noticed what was going through my mind,

"I don't know, how to explain why…" he trials off, his tone now serious, his eyebrows flaring, I can tell, as I sit there and watch him, that he's trying to figure something out within myself, what he's trying to figure out, drives me crazy to know.

"You don't need to explain." I sigh, shaking my head, he's forgiven, it really is that easy for him, for me to accept his apology, even one that he doesn't need to give, but already has, exhaustion starts to set in and take a sip of my coffee, groaning internally when I remember that its barely the morning, and I have the whole day to get through.

"Hey, you okay?" I glance up to see him assessing me questioningly with those smoldering eyes again. "You look absolutely exhausted," he stated, and he truly sounds concerned, I don't want this to happen, I was able to get over him, somewhat, and now he's managing to drag me right back down to where I was, in fact, he already has.

Consciously or not, he has.

I never realized how easy I was to charm. He must be messing with me. But why? What can he possibly gain from all this? Surely he could have anyone he wanted. No one would be able to turn him down, why would they? I was just flattering myself; he doesn't see me in that way at all.

"I've had a lot of work to do." I brush off the concerning question, taking a sip of my coffee the hot liquid soothing down my throat, contradicting the cold outside. But when I look up, he doesn't seem convinced at all.

"Do you plan on turning in your second poem soon?" he questioned, taking the hint that I wont be forth coming with the last subject at all.

"Yes." I nod, "I don't think it will be a Stanza, a verse will be good." I add with a smirk

This causes him to smile.

"It made me wonder, why did you pick those four lines?" he muses, his eyes dancing, when he realizes he has me.

My gaze meets his and I don't know what to say, naturally, I cant tell him, what I was thinking, it would be impossible, and he would probably laugh, of course he would.

After all, I was thinking of us.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: **im sorry for the hold up, i got ppl asking me if i was going to continue and thats when i knew i needed to update, ive just been so tired, the honest truth, and a little lazy, its just that with swim practice and school, im just too tired to type the chapter up on the computer, but heres the next, and i hope you guyz enjoy i will try to get the fifth chapter up soon and im glad that you guyz are eager with this and sticking with me on it. Enjoy**

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Chapter-4  
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My face heats at the thought, I know I've given myself away now, I hate the fact that he probably thinks me weak, I fell for a Professor and couldn't even hold my thoughts in, or feelings for that matter, but I was so angry with him, with myself, but I turned the poem in anyway, thinking he wouldn't even catch on. But the silence in between us, the flash of recognition in his now dark, forest green eyes.

He does know.

How pathetic I am.

How weak.

He must be embarrassed, thinking ways he'll have to let me down softly, I don't think he would be rude or cruel, when it would come down to something like this. Only making this whole situation worse, he would fell the need to let me down easy, pity in his eyes.

I feel mortified by the thought; I don't want or need his pity.

Being treated like a child, especially from someone who I _thought_ respected me, in some ways, another thing I was wrong about.

I never thought silence could be so _loud. _

"Bella…." I was taken aback by my shorter name, the first time he acknowledged me that way, I never bothered correcting him, his voice always sounded good saying it, the timbre of his tone, wrapping around my name like a caress. Of course, that was only my imagination getting ahead of itself, as usual.

My eyes shamefully met his, but they were curiously searching mine for something, not quite what I expected to see in them, he shook his head, glancing down at his watch I watched, as he slipped back into his teacher persona.

"I need to go." I mumbled, stepping up, wanting to get out of there, I came here to escape him, which evidently didn't happen.

"Please – wait." His fingers wrapped around my wrist, I reluctantly met his gaze, my heart once against started to beat erratically in my chest, what more could he possibly want? I felt humiliated enough already, surely he could see that.

"I don't know – what to tell you…." He struggled, his eyes pleading, I had to leave, there were sure to be students here that recognized him, he wasn't a professor that blended in, his appearance made sure of that. I didn't know what to think with his mixed signals, I didn't know what to think at all. He stood than, reminding me, that he was impossibly striking, there for it was impossible for us to even be together, I just didn't fit, with my yoga pants and messy pony tail, to his clean pressed slacks and perfectly disheveled bronze hair and loafers.

I didn't fit, I didn't belong, and he was a Sophsicated College Professor.

I was Bella, too simple for someone like him.

Maybe I could understand and move one, but for right now, I just needed to get away.

But with the way his eyes pierced through me intensely, as if he was reluctant to leave.

I wasn't so sure I really ever could move on.

"I know this isn't wise, I have a class that starts in thirty minutes after all, but the least I could do is give you a ride back."

Tears spike in my eyes, could it have really been that easy to reject me? Was that it? All in one sentence, he got the job done. I guess after all, he was probably use to turning down so many, who wouldn't try for someone like him?

I felt like such a fool

I should my head, " No, go, I want to walk." I stated stiffly, trying to keep my voice level.

"I insist." He said back stubbornly, his eyebrows setting over his eyes. He walked in front of me and out in the rain, I thought about turning and heading my way, but he stubbornly walked over to open the passenger's side door. I hesitated for two seconds, and got in , what else was I suppose to do? He swiftly made his way to the driver's side and hopped in, the interior of his Volvo was pretty nice to say the least.

I watched as he ran his fingers through his hair, effectively drying out the beads for water that had collected in the smooth, copper strands, causing his hair to darken, I found myself staring.

He was just too perfect, pain shooting through my chest at the fact. We didn't belong, I tried to tell myself.

"Are you ready?" he asked, pulling me out of my reverie, when he caught my expression, he gave me a sorrowful smile.

"Do you prefer to walk? You don't have to ride with me." He stated softly, as if he was saddened by the fact, I thought he had just rejected me?

Could he be? I shook my head at both his question, and mine.

He nodded and turned on the heater before pullin gout, heading for the University.

"Your cutting it kind of close don't you think?" I asked, concerning the time, my eyes flashing to his clock on the dash.

"Well….." he smiled, "The class cant possibly start without me there – can it?" he mused.

I smiled, "No, I guess not—"

We didn't speak the rest of the way there, instead of parking in the staff parking lot, like I thought, causing me to walk; he pulled up at the dorm entrance instead.

"I look forward to reading your next assignment Isabella." I quietly nod, not really knowing what to say to that, and he had gone back to addressing me by my full name. Perhaps I was being overly perspective, he was just a good teacher, that's all, wanting to get to know his students more. I opened the door and entered the pelting rain, forcing myself to keep looking forward.

- - - *- - -

When I thought I had made it through his class with dignity, even though rejection stung, I had felt proud of myself, but I knew that streak would end, when he stopped me in the hallway, after his class had filed out.

"Isabella, can I speak with you?"

Okay, here it was, was he going to go back to acting like a prick, or did he honestly have a question he needed to ask? By than the entire student body had left, so it was just he and I in that empty hallway. He smiled sheepishly and looked down at me, making me remember how gorgeous he truly was, and how plain I looked compared to him.

"Its pretty evident that you have an interest in poetry, every Friday night, a group of students from my advance poetry class get together, and I usually join them."

Ah, I saw where he was going with this.

"Of course your open to refuse if you'd like, but I'm sure some of the people would like to meet you, what with your knowledge of not only British Poets but I'm sure you know a great deal of others as well." His smile warm, I smiled curtly, I may have already figured him out already, when he wanted you do something, he complimented you, manipulating you into doing something that he rather not be turned down by, after all, every human being doesn't mind being flattered from time to time.

I glance down at my watch for effect.

"I cant." I sigh, "You see, I have an assignment due soon, and I really must get done, especially if that said professor wanted me to complete it with the best of my abilities." I looked at him innocently.

I watched as his eyes narrowed, understanding what I caught on to, your not that hard to read, you're not as mysterious as you think I shot a look at him. I couldn't believe I was turning down an opportunity like this, but I was an idiot and I was stubborn, he cant just switch his charm on and off just to get something, it may have worked with me in some occasion, but not like this. After all, he had given me the cold shoulder for a month, even is he was entitled, well, I'm entitled to drop out of something like this, he's not going to be easily forgiven.

"Maybe another time." He answered, somberly, "How's your poem coming?" he added, throwing me off guard by the change in subject, and mood. I turned my head to see someone pass us, staring at the both of us the whole way, basically gawking, how irritating. I clutched my strap tighter to my shoulder and glanced back up at him.

"You can read it, when I turn it in." I smile, not wanting to give anything away, and I just wanted to leave, he was obviously stalling, for what, I had no clue when it came to things with him.

"I must be going." I turn slightly, and he nods quickly, as if he only now just registered the fact, his eyes, distant, not trained on me at all. I felt terrible for disappointing him, surprisingly, I truly did, I just couldn't help the feeling that crept up on me.

- - - * - - -

Nothing happened for the rest of the day, I sat restless in my dorm, wanting something to do. I wasn't sure why, but his office was taunting me, I felt the need to go there and say yes to his offer. I hadn't seen Alice in a while, she hardly ever comes to the room during the time since she met Jasper, there always out and I was in desperate need of her advice, perhaps I could've asked her and gotten her opinion on what I should do.

I was so helpless and stupid, and idiotic and just plain pathetic.

Because I found myself walking down that same hallway, the last time I came unannounced, it ended horribly, this time, I hope it wouldn't end so bad. When I reached his class, I could see him pacing in his office, obviously talking to someone.

"I know…and I'm sorry, I'll visit you here in a while, I just---I've been really busy."

I hear him sigh in frustration and I can't help the feeling of wanting to walk in there and just take away whatever's stressing him out. I suddenly felt terrible for rejecting him, I know he probably didn't care either way, but I still felt bad.

"I understand, but there's just so much going on right now…yes, I know…"

"Okay, Esme, fine, I'm sure everyone misses me, I miss them too, I'll be sure to stop by." He sighs,

Who was Esme…he wasn't married, unless for some odd reason he just didn't believe in wearing a wedding ring, but that's probably not true, if he's not wearing a gold band on his left ring finger, than he just wasn't married.

Simple.

"Yes of course, okay, love you too Mom, bye."

Oh, Okay.

I wanted to smack myself for how paranoid I was starting to get on the whole mystery marriage thing, I was way too obsessed, what a creeper.

Mystery solved, Edward wasn't married, what do ya know?

What kind of heated argument could you possibly have with your mother? I laughed to myself.

"Come in Isabella."

I jumped when he said my full name, bringing me back to reality. Did he know I had been standing there for some time?

His back was facing me as he waited, so I thought I just to be better if I obeyed and not make a run for it, I came here myself after all. I walked slowly, taking me time, thinking of what I was really going to say, or do.

"Change your mind?" he mused, his eyes dancing across my face, for what I could imagine, searching my answer, he seemed good at reading minds, hell, mine was as easy as anybody's.

I sigh, did I? Or was I just pathetic enough to need to see him again?

Both questions stumped me.

I didn't know what to say, what a surprise.

"Where is it?" I asked hesitantly, answering both our questions, looks like I was going.

"Whole in the Wall, the names a little weird, but it is a cool place, it's a coffee shop downtown." He stated carefully, did he really want me to come that much, and I couldn't help but smile at him saying 'cool'.

I don't see why, there were other students that came, he had said, maybe, by any chance he had invited another student form my class, not singling me out at all. Yeah, right.

"Would you like directions? I could always print out a map…"

He had placed both his hands in the front pockets of his slack, but I watched as he lifted one out, motioning towards his computer behind him. I followed his hand, staring at the machine, should I do this? I know he made it sound so ordinary and usual, perhaps I was blowing this out of proportions, but I couldn't help the feeling that crept up on me. At least he didn't as me if I needed a ride; he seemed to know his boundaries, also.

I just hope I knew mine and could keep to them; we were basically straddling the line as of now. This was wrong, we shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be having feelings that I do for him. His eyes sparked with recognition, he understood too.

"You can say no Isabella." He whispered, watching, as he swallowed, his atoms apple moving up and down under the skin of his throat. He knew this shouldn't happen I know this shouldn't happen, but hadn't I already battled through all this in my head? Hadn't I been down this path before?

I've already made my decision, when he had found out in the café I had already decided what I was getting myself into, I knew.

And apparently, so did he.

"The directions would really help." I answered, and that was good enough for him, I didn't look back from the place I had once stood before, I was making progress, and he didn't seem to mind one bit, or at least that's what I was going on.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: okay, next chapter, i have to say that this one was updated alot sooner, which i am very proud of myself, i hope you guyz enjoy, ive had alot of author alerts, and story alerts, but very little reviews, i would much luv to know your guyz comments, and opinions on this, i hope you guyz stop for 3 secs to review, and i hope you guyz like this so far, the next chapter is even better.**

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"They're not that intimidating, but they may be by you."

I snorted at this, yeah, right.

"You think so lowly of yourself." He stated, somber, I looked up to see his eyes on me, his face instantly turning serious his lips resting into a frown, I looked away as he turned his attention to the map printing out I wasn't quite sure how to respond. What do you say, when your teacher tells you that?

"Okay, here's the map, I hope its easy to find, we'll be meeting at seven, which is in two hours." He stated, glancing down at his watch.

"Would you like a ride?" this made him look wary.

"Oh, no don't worry, I'll get there." I state, trying to reassure him, it stung that it seemed he didn't want to have anything to do with me, but he did ask me here to begin with, he did wanted me to go in the first place.

It seemed sensible enough.

"Great, I look forward to see how my students will react to your opinions," he mused, his eyes dancing at the thought, my heart accelerating at just the sight, maybe this wasn't a good idea. Butterflies were already assaulting my stomach.

"Cullen, can I have a word with you." I jumped at the sudden intrusion. I turned to see a tall, built man, in a suit and tie, he may have been attractive in his younger years, but now he was worn with age, I'd have to guess around mid forties.

And he didn't look like he was in a pleasant mood.

"Yes – of course." His eyes connected with mine, obviously my signal to leave.

I did as he asked and closed the door behind me as I started to hear talking behind the door. I thought about leaving, but there was just a feeling in the pit of my gut, telling me to stay. So, I stood right by the door, making sure that when they opened it, they wouldn't be able to see me if the man just left. But his office was pretty sound proof, all I could get was neither of them staid civil for long, the man raising his voice. My heart accelerated at the timbre of Prof. Cullen's voice, I'd never heard him angry before, it almost scared me, I couldn't imagine how I'd respond if it was ever directed towards me.

I wasn't sure how long I stood there ten, maybe twenty minutes, at the most, when the door finally and suddenly opened, I was lucky it didn't smack me in the face.

"Your lucky this knowledge reached me much later after the fact, your lucky your one of our best Professor."

Who was this guy?! To insult him so harshly.

He ghosted through the classroom, Edward followed in toe.

"Perhaps you should keep in mind that the fact will always remain." Edward growled, arrogance lacing his words, I never thought he could ever manipulate his voice to sound like that, the soft, smooth velvet completely gone.

They still hadn't spotted me.

"I will, but no ones perfect, you'll slip and I'll be there to make sure you never teach again," with that, the bastard left.

What the hell just happened?

I was about to come out of my 'hiding' spot when I heard a loud slam, it took everything in me not to shriek in shock, he had slammed the door, I peeked around the door to see him stride over to his desk in front of the board and with one swift, violent swipe, everything went flying across the room, pens, papers, books, absolutely everything that had been piled on the table. I listened to his heavy breathing, and desperately wanted to help, my heart immediately going out to him with whatever just happened.

I took a deep breath and stepped away the barrier, but his back was to me, so he didn't see me yet. I stepped quietly to him and watched as he continuously ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself down. His back rippled and flexed and he jumped when I softly rested my hand on his right shoulder blade, he spun and his eyes widened as his eyes focused on my frame in front of him, realizing he wasn't alone.

"Isabella…"

I felt my eyes literally soften as I took him in, I just wanted to help, I wasn't sure if it was just me, but his body was flaming under my palm, he needed to calm down. He swallowed and winced as he took in the damage he had just done, his head turning about the room.

"I'm sorry, I really should learn to control myself-" I shook my head,

"After what he said? I can't blame you for losing your temper." He than shook his head,

"I shouldn't have done it either way, there's no excuse, for me losing my temper, if I knew you were here…."

I felt like it was time to apologize, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop." He shook his head once again, "No, you saved my room from further destruction, I should be thanking you, if you hadn't..:" he trailed off sheepishly, taking a deep breath. I sigh, his eyes wont meet mine, and I hate the fact that they wont.

"What was that all about?" I decide to ask, I wasn't even sure if he would tell me, he shook his head, letting out a gust of air. "Lets just say the Dean doesn't take a liking to me."

That's who he was?"

He silently nods, moving away from me to start and pick up the mess he caused, I had never seen him like that before, never thought he could lose his tempter lie that either, I was shocked, to say the least. I move to help him pick up some of the books on the floor.

"Don't trouble yourself with my fault." He breathes, walking over to take the books from me. "It not a problem, don't even worry about it." I insist, I grab hold of his arm, to take the books back. He looks at me for a long time, his eyes were once expressive, showing me what he was feeling, but not right now, they were blank and I wasn't sure on what to think of it.

I know it was a mistake, and I know there was a lot he wasn't telling me, sure it wasn't his fault that he didn't want to, I was his student after all, but I just yearned to help him, my hand slipped up his arm to rest against the side of his neck as I thought this. I wanted him to confide in me. I concentrated on his pulse point, feeling it beating erratically against my palm; I couldn't concentrate on anything else but that. His face seemed to soften as his eyes took in my face, he was torn, and instead of the Dean causing him pain this time, it was I. My eyes land on his wide angular jaw, to see the muscle twitching continuously, grinding his teeth together in restraint.

"Isabella – " he shook his head and my hand immediately dropped feeling ashamed, I had gone too far, his eyebrows were pushed together, causing a line to appear between them and I felt like a fool seeing him this way.

My head dropped.

But I wasn't expecting it when he laced his longer fingers in my hair at the nape of my neck and with that he pulled my forehead into his chest while he rested his chin at the top my head.

I wasn't even sure what to make of our little embrace, my heart was pounding so hard, I could barely stand it.

But as quickly as he had let that slip, he pulled away, not even glancing back as he fled into his office for the second time, leaving everything thrown about on his floor. I wasn't even sure what happened, but I knew I wash pushing the limits, I shouldn't be doing this, I knew he wanted me to leave, I was being cruel, I was pushing _him_ past _his_ limits. With one last glance at his door, I left, to return to my room. I couldn't think straight, not with the previous events that just occurred, what did this mean? I wasn't even sure if I should go that night, and I wasn't sure if Edward wanted me to go either. I sighed, this was getting, way out of hand, and that was just an understatement.

- - - * - - -

"You look a little out of place here."

I turned my attention up to a girl who didn't look much older than me, her hair was bright red but looked real enough, that rested on her shoulders, a stud nestled in the crook of her nose, I could only guess why she came up to me.

"I'm just going to guess here, and if I'm wrong I'm just going to feel like a complete dumbass, but are you Bella?" I nod, hoping Edward would come and save me, naturally, my face started to heat at the event of meeting new people, how did she know I went by Bella? Did Edward introduce me as such? I wasn't even sure why I showed up, he wasn't even here yet.

"Ok, nice, I got it right, I'm Andi, and we felt kind of bad watching you sit by yourself." Andi motioned over to a couch that had about seven people, a fair amount, she motioned for me to follow as she made her way back.

"Cullen just called, he said he'd be a couple of minutes late, I'll just let you meet everybody." She smiled, and I realized, I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to impose, I didn't want to get involved, especially with what happened this afternoon, I'm sure things would probably be awkward between us, and surely everyone here would catch on, I certainly didn't need that, so, what did I do?

I knew it was cowardly, and quite rude, but I turned, making my way to the door before she notice I was no longer following. That's right, I was about to bail, because I couldn't do this. I made it outside and took a breath of fresh air, no longer breathing in stale cigarette smoke, knowing I shouldn't have showed up in the first place, I was a newbie in college anyway, I'm sure these guys wouldn't miss me. I would've made it too, if Professor Cullen hadn't just got out of the car I walked by.

"Isabella?"

His voice already jolts me still, my face reddens at the fact of being caught, literally running away, his eyes study me, and they become flat as his face relaxes, realizing what I was doing, or at least trying to do, he shakes his head.

"You could've stated that you didn't want to come." He said, making his way up to me, the dark only enhancing his appearance. He looked so casual, wearing a black long sleeve button down and jeans, he only looked better casual, if that were humanly possible.

"I – just…" I stammered, his eyes darted out to the side, and I look too, seeing Andi making her way up to us, great.

"Bella – what happened in there?"

I honestly, didn't know what to say, my face only beginning to burn more, very aware of Edwards's eyes burning wholes into my side, wanting an answer too,

"Bella just told me, she wasn't feeling well, will you guys mind if I take her back?" Andi shook her head; her eyes darting between Edward and I, making me feel uncomfortable as she stated that it wouldn't be a problem, not at all.

"Excellent."

Once Andi made it back inside, his eyes landed on my face, his expression soft, and wanted to thank him for going along with it, I just wanted to go home.

"I didn't mean to drag you into anything, I'm so sorry."

"No, its fine, its not your fault, I'm a coward, I just want to go home," I sigh, meeting my gaze. His eyes burned, a kind smile stretching his lips, like he had done early that day, his fingers wove in my hair, pressing my forehead to his chest, but only this time I felt a slight pressure to the top of my head, my only guess, his lips. Causing my heart to leap in my chest, my cheeks burning at the thought.

"Come on." He whispered in my hair, leading me to his car. The ride back was quite, but I liked it, he didn't ask why I wanted to leave, he didn't ask anything, only making me want to thank him more. But when we arrived, I didn't want to go in.

"I'm sorry for not – "

"Don't even, I feel bad enough, I feel like I pressured you into going." He explained quietly, his eyes studying the steering wheel in front of him, his hands gripping it tightly.

"It wasn't like that at all." I try to reason, I turn to face him, determined to stop him from beating himself up, he shook his head, stubborn as ever, how could anyone put up with him, or even plan on winning an argument? I mused, biting down on my bottom lip.

"Goodnight Bella." He smiled at the end, concerning my name, I didn't mind which way he said it, it always sounded perfect coming from his lips.

"Goodnight." I whispered, reluctantly making my way out, once I closed the door, he was gone, driving off, back to his place I could only imagine.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This is a pretty quick update for me, but i was sitting around with nothing to do and decided to update, if you guyz were wondering which college this is, i, myself am not really sure, im planning on making this my longest story written, i was thinking about 25, chapters, just if you guyz were wondering, and as far as the college, i decided to leave it open as well as the city, it rains alot, its cold, washington, im assuming but you can let your imagination run wild, thats why i kind of made up the idea of leaving it open, you can make it whatever you want it to be, this chapter is kind of shorter than the others, but you will be glad with this update, trust me, reviews please, i really appreciate them, and thank you so much who did review last chapter, im glad that you guyz actually read the authors note :D Enjoy! And for future reference i was kind of juggling with the idea of doing a chapter from Edwards POW it all depends on how this story is coming along, tell me what you think.  
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I couldn't sleep at all and when Alice asked me what happened, I decided to say nothing, I thought it best to keep it to myself, he probably didn't want anyone knowing what happened in his classroom, it was the least I could do for him. So when I awoke, I decided to take a nice long hot shower to kill time only remembering that I still had his assignment that I needed to do. With a sigh I turned off the blistering heat, already missing the warmth, it looked like it was wet and cold outside, the usual.

Of course Alice wasn't there when I got out, the usual. I began to wonder how serious her and jasper were getting, they seemed like they were always together.

Always.

With that thought, I pulled on some warm clothes and headed out.

I had to stop by the library and find some books on Barrett Bruneing Elizabeth, I felt that it would be wise to know more of her material and style of writing before I made my assumptions on her poem: _If thou must love me, let it be for naught. _

I walked swiftly thought the rain, trying by damnest not to slip, that's all I would need was to have a cold, wet butte as I strolled into the library, its happened on more than one occasion, I thought of the poem as I made my way across the already drenched courtyard, the green spongy moss covering every single tree, you think it would find no place else to grow. I sighed, I had thought of him, both times I had picked my verses, I couldn't help it, I was falling for him, even thought I shouldn't.

I was surprised they had a sub-category dedicated completely to British Literature, so it wasn't hard to narrow the search from there and find what I was looking for. I flipped through the pages of a massive book until I found what I was looking for,

"Its rare that anyone actually does research through books anymore." I heard a velvet voice sigh; I looked up to see him smiling.

"Are you stalking me?" I wondered, a smirk forming on my lips. But he didn't seem to take it so lightly,

"If you wish for me to leave…" he frowned, "No," I rushed to say, perhaps too quickly, "No, you can stay if you want." That's when the smile finally lit up his face once again, I _must _be imagining this, this was the most open I had ever seen him. He came closer and glanced down at the poet I was reading,

"Ah, my first choice, _If thou must love me, let it be for naught," _He caught me off guard by the intensity of his stare, his beautiful emerald eyes moldering as they basically bore into me. The strong feeling pitting in my stomach once again, hinting that he was apparently trying to tell me something through his expressive green irises.

"_Thy comfort long, and lose thy love there by."_

He recited, his voice barley above a mummer, we were practically the only ones in the library, after all, no one else wanted to be in a library this early on a Saturday. My heart leapt in my chest as he stepped closer, his words ringing in my ear, it was clear now, obviously, what he thought, I just couldn't…. believe it, how could it be, that _he_ has an interest in me?

It was just impossible.

"You don't give yourself enough credit Isabella." His voice turned hoarse and intimate, the surrounding book cases sealing us off from anyone's curious eyes, secluding us, cutting us off from everything else besides, this. As if he could read my thoughts, I was powerless when he pulled the book, easily form my grasp, my fingers brushing the cover gently as he slipped it back where it belonged on the self, his gaze never leaving mine as he did so.

"Bella – after all is the root word for beautiful…." he continued, tilting his head slightly. He did look good, my slow and muddled mind processing this much, he was wearing his usual black slacks, but this time, a cream sweater, pulled tight across his chest, defining the tight muscles there, the hue of the sweater bringing out the moonlight paleness of his skin, which was beautiful none the less. His head lowered, his left hand still leaning against the shelf, and I honestly didn't know what to say, or do to for that matter, he was so close.

"Say something." He whispered, his lips nearing my ear, I tried to shake the haziness clouding my mind, after all, this was it, this, is what I wanted, I wanted him. And here he was, I could feel the steady heat radiating off his body, I just wanted to lean into him, my breath caught, I now, may have the chance. He sighs than, his breath brushing against a few strands of my hair, I can feel them dancing across his face, he's that close.

"I would've come sooner, but – I, I didn't want to _make _you feel anything." He sighs, obviously torn within himself, he must've don't a lot of thinking before he came here. "When you turned in that Ballad Stanza – so beautiful – I was almost certain that you knew," he concludes,

"_They slumber in secrecy_

_2 worlds they have – a globe forgot." _

He recited only the first two lines, my eyes fluttered closed as he placed a chaste peck on the sensitive skin by my ear, making my heart lurch from my chest.

"I didn't want to seem straight forward, and yet," he breaths, his warm breath brushing across my neck like a caress, I want to faint, and my knees feel like they will give out when his hot palm cups the side of my neck causing me to meet his eyes, glistening, "But I couldn't wait any longer." He admits, with a slight smirk, than an adorable, boyish smile streaks across his face, making him look younger.

"Too much with the dramatics? Yes?" he wonders, cocking an eyebrow, this causes me to smile, breaking me out of my reverie. "You're a Literature Professor, you can get away without it sounding _too_ cheesy." His chuckle washes over me, trying to stay quiet, my head leans slightly back, my head resting against his palm for support, his thumb smoothes over my jaw and I'm completely at ease with him, like this. That's when we start to hear footsteps, padding against the carpet; hard to miss when everything is dead silent.

When I think he's going to leave me and run, he pulls me with him instead, around the selves and into a corner, concealed from sight. Our breathing increased as the adrenalin courses through our bodies, the slight chance of someone seeing us hanging in the air. My palms are resting against his chest, and I can fell his erratic heart beat and I feel closer to him somehow, not in the physical sense of course, even though is the longest I've been pressed up against him, which causes my head to spin just at the thought.

"This is impossible." He pants, his voice just above a whisper, I step closer as he rests his forehead on the top of my head. I bury my nose in his neck, god, he smells so good, than his cheek rests against my hair, and I just stand, we just stand there, secluded from everything else, the verse play in my head,

"_Two word they have – a globe forgot." _

Yes, we were from two very different worlds, we should be separate, but we aren't.

"Edward, that's why I didn't want you to know." I breathe, a thrill running through me, the first time I had ever said his name. He must've been affected by this too, he placed a kiss on my temple before he added, "I thought it would just go away, after all, I barely even knew you," he trails off with a sigh, "I just, I'm," I pulled away to look up at him, obviously struggling to tell something, a first for him.

"Tell me." I insist, resting my hand on his cheek reveling in the fact that I could. Edward seemed determined with my encouragement. I watched more than listened when he spoke, my hand as if, it hand a drugging effect on him, he could possibly be falling just as hard a I was. It just out right amazed me.

"I, wanted to make sure that this was what you want, I don't…I don't want you to think you have to this just because I, feel this way." He sighed, almost unsure of himself. I shook my head in disbelief, my eyes drooping when I felt his arm snaking around my waist, it felt out right incredible and just so natural, and so, right.

"I'm lucky you even feel this way at all, about me." I smirk, my cheeks beginning to burn furiously at the confession, the pads of his fingers rested against my cheekbone softly, heating my skin with whit hot heat, leaving fire with the trial of his fingers as they touched my skin.

"This, is what captured my attention." He mused, his green eyes darting to meet my gaze. "The way the blood paints your cheeks your openly showing any emotion, and ones that's graceful and beautiful none the less." He smiles,

"You teach poetry, right?" I ask dumbly, god am I an idiot, he really should walk away now, while he still can, I feel the vibrations in his chest as he chuckles, "Yes, why?"

"It defiantly shows," I nod, still mortified by my awesome conversation skills.

"I guess that's a plus for me, I heard poetry was the way into a woman's heart."

"I thought it was the soul." I cock an eyebrow.

"I don't want to get too ahead of myself here."

Someone drops a book three bookcases away and I immediately remember where we where to begin with, where we were hiding, to be more exact. He sighs again, lifting his head in the direction of the sound, his eyebrows flare as he looks down at me and I'm afraid of what he's' going to say next.

He sighs sadly, "We shouldn't be doing this." My heart sinks when he begins to release his hold on my waist, no, I'm so close. I'm so close to actually getting what I want for once, I wont let him go so easily. He seems to be debating with something, for he doesn't notice it when I quickly thread my fingers in his soft copper hair in the nape of his neck. In one quick movement, to make sure he doesn't catch on, I reach up on the tips of my toes as I swiftly bring his head down, and our lips finally touch.

I try to put as much emotion and feeling in it as much as I can, hoping he wont pull away, knowing that this is my only chance, and perhaps, the last one. At first, I feel his body freeze at the unexpected, but as my lips curve around his, lightly sucking at his delicious bottom lip, I feel him relax, and give in. Triumph courses through my veins, along with a desire for him, tightening the muscle of my stomach.

I can feel his resolve slipping as he tries to remain tender and soft, but with a frustrated sigh I plunge my tongue through his soft lips, finally getting a taste of him. It works, as he pulls me tightly against him, not a whisper of air between our bodies or lips, as his tongue enter my mouth, I feel my eyes roll in the back of my head at the delicious feeling, I feel as if I might faint, as he finally takes charge, his large palms cupping each side of my face as his tongue mates with mine, our delicious breaths colliding, turning into gasps of air.

I've kissed a handful of guys, in the past, but it was nothing like this, it wasn't this passionate and raw, Edward, as strong and demanding and dominate as he looks, when he wants something, he takes it, knowing exactly how to get it.

A groan erupts deep within his chest and I don't see how anything at all in the world can stop us now.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: *sigh* I'd apologize, but you guyz have probably heard too much of that, so heres the next, ill probably get the next chapter up next week, time just seems to go by so fast, by the time i even think of this story, its already been 3 wks, i just need to type them up, i hope you all like this, and there will be more to come, and im going to start writing another if i can maybe youve checked it out _Heart of the Sea _if you havnt plz do. Enjoy.**

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"Hmm – Bella…"

"Mmm?"

"Isabella."

I sigh as his lips place sucking kisses down my neck, leaving a trail of white-hot fire alongst the skin of my throat as he continues with his heavenly ministrations.

"We should go." He stated, not once stopping his soft, warm lips. I comb my fingers through his smooth copper strands, like I had I watched him do so many times. Once jealous of his own hands.

"They're bound to close the library soon." He adds, reality coming down on us with a vengeance. But I'm reluctant, how do we avoid getting caught? And even if we don't, when's the next time I'll be able to be with him like this? He seems to notice my distress and he pulls away, far enough to see my eyes.

"When will I see you again?" I wonder, my eyes searching his, I know I will see _him_ but when will be able to be together like this, intimately and alone without anyone knowing? I can't believe I'm doing this with my college Professor I think soberly.

"I don't know" he answers honestly with a sigh, I sigh as well, smoothing down his unruly hair, so we don't look that conspicuous, a sweet smile accompanies his lips, as he kisses me softly, his lips conjoining with mine perfectly. He pulls away only for a moment, to kiss me again, and I don't want him to stop. He steps closer, switching our positions so now my back is tot the wall, pressing me gently against it, and I'm certainly not complaining, enjoying the planes of his chest pressing against my body.

Both his hands rest on the wall on either side of my head, boxing us in, keeping everything else out. I love it how he seems to lose restraint when it comes to me, it seems to be that way with myself also, I wrap my arms under his, clutching at his back to pull him even closer to me, not a breath of air between our bodies.

"Bella, please." It's the amount of strength and restraint he put into that one statement, that causes me to obey and tear my lips from his,

"I'm sorry – " I begin to apologize for getting too carried away, my face burning but he immediately rests his fingers on my swollen lips, silencing any words coming from them.

"You don't need to apologize, you're all too tempting enough for me already." He breathes. I rest against the wall, leaning slightly against him, and admiring his proximity while I still have it, before he has to leave.

He shakes his head, "I shouldn't even be saying things like that." Shame overtaking his features, his head lowering so the brilliance of his forest green eyes are no longer on me. I smile; he's too much of a gentleman for his own good,

"Your not that much older than I am, ya know." I state, his head lifts to look at me,

"How much I wish you weren't my student," he breathes, his lips pressing against my jaw.

"How else would've we have met?" I wonder, his lips having a drugging effect on me.

Of course.

"I don't know, I don't care where, or how, just – as long as I saw you," I turn my head to bury my nose in his hair, wishing, that I could just sleep with him, wake up next to him, be closer to him than I knew we could ever be, my cheeks heating at the thoughts running through my mind, I just wish we could be together, perhaps we wouldn't be able to be together like this, at all after this. I love the tremble that rides his spine as I lick the shell of his ear.

"I'm here – now." I sigh sadly. I feel him stiffen and I automatically become alarmed, holding my breath.

He's four feet away from and leaning against the bookcase, throwing a book at me in less than six seconds flat.

"Are you sure that's what you were looking for?" Edward winks at me as he says this, his back towards the librarian as she just rounds the corner.

"Oh – Professor Cullen, I didn't realize you were still here." She seemed to blush in his presence, poor gal, I know the feeling, all too well, her eyes flutter from his face and than mine, but they quickly scan over me before returning to his form.

"Yes, I was just showing a student the book she was requesting, I'm sorry – I dint realize it was this late." He puts on his full-blown smile, dazzling her, I'm sure, and ever putting on the façade of checking his wristwatch.

"Well, yes, if you two could – "

"Yes – of course, I'll be sure to show Ms. Swan here, the exit." His clear green eyes landing on mine, amusement clear in the irises as he smiles down at me. "Good night" he added curtly. I heard the librarians faint good by as Edward led me to the front; I hadn't realized we ventured that far back I think with a blush.

We finally make it out, and after checking if anyone was around, he grabbed my hand and pulled me around the building corner, again, out of sigh to any passer-byers.

"I have to say, I'm a lot more at ease now than when I entered there." He sighs, nodding his head in the direction of the library entrance, his fingers softly curling around my right hand. I nod; he had no idea, the worries and paranoia that had been running through my mind as I had walked in the library not long ago.

He cups my cheek, "Tomorrows Saturday, fortunately for the both of us, there's no classes on the weekend." He concludes. Before I understand what he means he brings my right hand up to his lips, and like Alice's old time English classical novel heroin, he places a soft kiss amongst my knuckles, his now dark emerald eyes never leaving mine as his lips linger over my chilled skin, than, before I can comprehend what happened, he had slipped away in the dark. I collapse against the chilled brick, leaning against the wall for support and sigh shaking my head to the black abyss.

Who knew my life would turn into _such_ a cliché?

- - - * - - -

"Where exactly have you been?" I smile like the idiot I am and shrug,

"Just the library." Alice looks at me skeptically, resting her hands on her hips,

"Books have never made me _that _happy before." She comments. But than her skeptic face turns in too a full blown smile, leave it to Alice to keep up with the ever-changing mood swings and overreactions.

"But I knew it!" she squeals like a little girl, her petite and pixie like figure jumping around the room defiantly emphasizing that description. I don't even try to fight it and just sigh as Alice crushes me against her pencil like frame. "And god! Does he smell good! He's still all over you." She giggles and I blush at this, I hope it wasn't that obvious.

Alice bounces over to her bed, "So – is he as good as he looks?" she asks, completely serious now, oh, she means business I internally roll my eyes at this. I sigh, plopping on my bed, burying my face in my favorite pillow, too tired to fight her, I figured it would be less painful if I just gave her details to get over with quicker, sure I was just as excited and pathetically love sick, but I just didn't let it all hang out in the open.

"Even better." I mumbled, my voice muffled by the pillow. All I get is an answering giggle. I sit up, needing to defend him though, "But Alice, he's just so sincere, I mean – I was the one who kissed him, sure, he was confident at first, but when it right got down to it, Edward just didn't want to take advantage of me." I sigh, analyzing it for myself as I explained everything. My shoulders slumped, I was getting in too deep and I knew there was no way of turning back, even if I wanted to.

"He's only a few years older." Alice reasoned, "I mean, my parents where three years apart, that's basically how you guys are."

"I know, and I told him that, he just seems so mature, even with the slight difference, he just seems a lot older than he actually is, or at least I think of him of that way for some reason."

"Well – your mature for your age too Bella" she added, always trying to cheer me up.

"Yeah" I breathe, already thinking of the possibility of seeing him again.

"So are you two going to meet, or something?" Alice asked, reading my thoughts.

"I'm not sure." I say honestly. "He did say something about us both being off tomorrow, I could only assume, tomorrow." I state, my heart already accelerating at the thought.

"I hope I see him tomorrow." I admit, my shoulders slouching. Alice clapped her hands like a 6 year old, "This all sounds so exciting, sneaking around with the Professor!" she exclaimed, I sighed, it wasn't like that at all, at least I hoped it wasn't that's not what I thought it was, just a passing fling, like I need a little excitement during the next few months and than I'd be on my way, I hope Edward didn't think that. Did he? Was this all it was? My mind began to work over time and I thought they had all been resolved, hadn't all my questions been answered? I suppose not, I let out a big breath of air, I'm not sure how much stress I could handle, it was all so much.

Alice broke through my thoughts by throwing her covers open, so she could climb in, "Well than, you want to look well and rested for him, don't you? Its already eleven!" I nod, pulling on some sweatpants, Alice turned of our lamp, leaving us in darkness as I tried to get some sleep, even though I knew there was no way of that happening.

And through the night when I did manage to close my eyes, my dreams were only filled with Edward. I wasn't half surprised.

- - - * - - -

I didn't feel rested when I woke up the next morning at all, my head was groggy and achy, my dreams, or nightmares, were horrible, in each one Edward always ended up leaving, either he wasn't serious, or he just expected to have his fun during the year until I moved on to different classes, this all made me doubtful, lowering my self-esteem and self-confidence further.

Alice was already gone, leaving a note on her nightstand.

_Went to breakfast with Jazz. _

_Luv Alice_

I sigh, not really knowing what to do with myself, I couldn't help but think what Edward was doing, it would look a little weird if I walked to his classroom on a Saturday? And, he wouldn't even be there to begin with. I decided to take a shower first off, and get dressed so I would have something to do to pass the time, perhaps I could read? I roll my eyes. I basically had all my work done, except, the one poem, had I decided on a verse? No, not really, Edward kind of distracted me from his own assignment, my face burning at the memory.

I toweled through my hair, letting it air dry into soft waves. Thinking about the poet I had decided on.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, a lot of her poems were inspired by her lover, which later became her husband, her true love. I pulled out the poem, for I had written it down before he erased the board that first day, I read through it, even stopping at the line Edward had recited for me the night before.

_Thy comfort long, and lose they love there by._

What did he mean?

Was he afraid of losing me? Perhaps, did he mean if we had waited too long, it would have been too late? Even we had been so close, on a daily basis? I moved on, not wanting to get a headache this early in the day, he could've meant a lot of things by it, or he just picked on random line. I finished the poem, the last line catching my eye.

_Thou may'st love on, through loves eternity._

The poet certainly loved for eternity, spending her whole lifetime with her love; hopefully I would be so lucky I thought with a sigh. When I finished my explanation I turned on my laptop to type, and print out, but than, I would be completely out of things to do. But before I went into Word, I went to my favorite search engine and type in:

Elizabeth Barret Browning.

I clicked on the first link and skimmed through her bio – out of sheer boredom.

Lets see…she was born in 1806, her father, _Edward _Browning, that couldn't help but catch my eye, there goes trying to forget about him. England, was their homeland, obviously, the class was Brit. Lit. She met, they were supposedly the most know courtship in the Victorian Era. With that I decided to just get my assignment done and out of the way.

Before I could even start yping my phone started to ring, I sigh, thinking it was probably Alice, done eating with Jasper, and calling to say just that.

"Hello?"

"Good thing its normal for a Professor to have students contact information at reach, when needed."

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I pretty much figured out by now that I probably wont get that much readers, not as much as I was hoping for, I just don't know what determines a hit story, I don't know, the lucky ones I guess, and good stories, but it doesn't matter, I'm grateful for ones who read and review and especially for reading this, please enjoy, and ill update soon. My longest update yet.  
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"Edward" I breathe, shocked that he would call me, especially since it's a known rule that teachers, should no way at all fraternize with their student.

"Hey" he almost seems just as relieved as I am to hear from him. "I've been going through my syllabus, and it seems like my assignment was not clear enough, for some students to comprehend, I was wondering if, perhaps, you needed any help, and that I could be of assistance?" I could imagine the smile that is probably on his face.

"Are you insinuating I don't hold the same capacity of intelligence that some other, students may have?" I ask innocently, fighting to hold in the giggle that was bubbling up as I played along.

"Hhmm, sounds like a serious problem, since you've introduced that specific reason why I called you, if I could, by any chance, meet with you, than maybe we could - resolve, this particular problem?" I pause for a moment, my heart racing and pounding in my chest, did I want to see him? Of course I did, there was no question in that, but should I? No, defiantly not.

"I'm afraid, that our 'meetings' may need to be extended over a long period of time, this problem, seems pretty serious and I cant deal with it alone." I cant help but giggle a little, like Alice would've done, I rolled my eyes,

"Very well than, I'll see you."

"Where?" I wonder, he was talking about meeting - well, where?

"We don't know that yet." he stated cryptically.

And with that, he hung up.

I couldn't believe it, on minute I was so happy, I didn't care what went wrong in the world, and now, I felt like stomping my foot on the ground and pouting yelling that it wasn't fair!

How cruel?

To just call someone and hang up? Just down right rude! I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest not thinking twice about the way I was acting, after all it was rather childish, I chuckled, Alice would be proud.

With a sigh, I went back to my laptop, typing and than printing out my poem, or verse to be specific I guess, hopefully, he would catch on to my explanation. Figuring that's all I could do on my computer, I shut it down, officially out of things to do. I was to impatient, when it came to him, I just wanted to see him, I just didn't know _how._

"_We don't know that yet." _

What did he mean?

A knock sounded at the door, causing me to jump.

"Alice?"

She looked weird, serious, for once, what could've happened? My hand immediately cupped my throat, my thoughts going to jasper.

Oh no, that would devastate her. I knew how deeply she cared for him. It wasn't that hard to see.

"Professor Cullen told me to tell you to go find him." I could feel my eyes squint in confusion, find him where?

"Where?" I ask, excitement bubbling at the thought of seeing him.

"Well, I went to slip a paper under his door, since it wa already late, and he needed up there, he said he wanted to talk to you on proofreading a paper, but I knew that was bullshit." she explained, setting her purse calmly on her bed, completely out of character. I grabbed my bag, automatically heading for the door, but Alice grabbled hold of my arm.

"Bella - wait." she demanded, when I turned around I was so shocked to see her angry, she had been so excited by the idea a couple months ago.

"This isn't a game Bella, he's a teacher and in college, and you're his student." she sighed, relaxing her hold.

"You don't know him." I argue pulling away, automatically defending him.

She snorted, "And you do? Its hasn't been that long - "

"Oh, this is rich, you only ,new Jasper for two days! So don't go lecturing me about this, when in twenty-four hours you were already convinced that you were in love." I fumed, I had already debated this so many times in my head, I didn't need this from Alice.

She sighed again, "Yes, but Japer isn't a Professor, and you don't know what he wants Bella, at the beginning I thought it was just a crush that would go away, hell, _I _had a crush on him at first, but this is serious, he may just decide to move on one day with someone his age, I just don't want to see you hurt Bella." I couldn't believe I was hearing this from Alice. It was probably the most pessimistic thing I've ever heard from her. Tears formed at the thought of him with anyone else, most likely more attractive than me.

"I want to go." I insisted wetly, hoping the tears would leave before I left. I just didn't need this. Alice stood aside as I left, only calling my name once more, she even knew it was a failed attempt to keep me from seeing him.

I didn't care.

I sniffed pathetically as I crossed the courtyard, I needed to see Edward, I wanted him to prove Alice wrong more than anything. The weather was cold and gray just as I expected, only making my mood more bleak, but when I finally escaped the rain, walking down the hallway, I could already hear voices from his room.

"Do you like it?" the voice giggled who as obviously a girl. My heart stopped as I hung behind the door, waiting to listen.

"I'm not sure that this is…." I peered over to get a glimpse without being caught, Edward, was seated at his desk in the classroom, Jessica, was leaning over it, her breast basically in full view, practically hanging over the desk.

Jessica!

He wasn't looking at _those _though, his eyes were concentrated on the paper on his desk.

"I was the one who went ahead to pick the poems for you, if you didn't like them, than I would've automatically failed you." his voice had grown stern as he stood up, walking around the desk. Jessica shrunk back, not confident any longer, I couldn't help but snicker as he glared down at her, obviously for her attempted advance.

"I cant even begin to explain how much you over looked the assignment, by choosing an _erotic _poem? You have also completely overlooked the concept of love, having to do with the assignment also, which if far form lust, something that was clearly evident in that poem lying on my desk." he crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze never wavering.

"I can see now it can be adapted in some, but this was completely inappropriate, I wont tolerate something like this, especially with the circumstances you had in mind…" he trialed off in disgust, shaking his head from side to side as if to rid it from his mind.

Jessica looked like she would begin to pout. I moved my head farther, trying to peer over her head to Edward but her head was in the way.

"Now, your lucky I don't take you out of this class, but I wont put up with another situation like this, what you were thinking…" he shook his head again, his eyes blazing like fire.

I had never seen him act this way, he really seemed upset, for I could only guess that Jessica was trying to do more than flirt, that much was clear. I shivered at the thought of her kissing him, or worse, him letting her.

Repulsive, it really was.

He didn't say anything else, and neither did she, so she just turned and left, but not before she saw me. But all she did was just glare, her pride probably shot down. She was far from the girl I had thought she was, she seemed so nice, seriously proving my assumptions wrong. I appeared through the doorway, but he had turned, so he didn't see me, I took a deep breath, willing all my nerves to settle.

He heard that.

I gave him a soft smile when his green eyes landed on me.

"You - heard that didn't you?" I nodded quietly, he sighed, running a hand through his disheveled copper hair, it had taken up a wave today.

"I know what she was trying to do, and I planned on letting her down easy, but than she showed me that…" he motioned over to the paper on his desk,

"Its alright" I state, he sighs once more, tucking a hand in the pocket of his slacks,

"What was with that phone call?" I ask, playfully, wanting to change the subject, for his sake and mine. A wide smile took up his features , I forgot how beautiful he really was. My memory just didn't do him justice.

"I was in a meeting, I couldn't concentrate after getting the idea of calling you." I watched him as he said this, Alice had to be wrong, he was telling the truth, his feeling just _had_ to be real.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, noticing that I hadn't said anything.

I look back at him, noticing my eyes hand wandered to the rain outside, I let out a breath of air I must've been holding debating on where or not to tell him. But when his soft, green eyes studied mine with genuine concern, I just knew I had to tell him.

"I cant stop thinking about what - Alice told me - " he stepped a little closer, still keeping a casual distance between us.

"Your roommate? What did she say?" I sighed, scared of what he might tell me after I say what Alice did tell me. I looked down at the tile in between us as I stated, "She was worried about me, and she want sure about you, what you wanted with this…" I trialed off, brushing my hands in the air between us, meaning what he wanted with the both of us. My heart pounded, waiting for his response. His eyes sobered up, and he walked past me, closing the door off from everything else, and locking it, my heart jumped as I listened to the click.

But his back continued to face me, causing his voice to e muffled as he said, "Alice thinks I'm using you." I nodded, even thought he couldn't see me, it was suddenly a mistake to have come here, I knew it, maybe I shouldn't listened to Alice after all.

"For what?"

I started at his voice, confused by his question. He spun around, facing me once again, his face confused as much as I feel, his eyes blazing.

"There's no - reasonable explanation I can give, I would never, ever, think of anyway to use you, or hurt you, even if I could, I would never." Edward quickly combs his fingers through his hair, for they had flailed about in his outburst.

I didn't know what to make of it.

"Don't get me wrong - I've thought us over too many times to keep track of, the only reason I can come up with is, that I want you, in the simplest way, that I'm attracted to you, not only physically," he breathed, turning his head away for speaking, I guess the 'unspeakable' to him. I was just shocked into silence as he continued, "Believe me, when I say I have debated with myself countless times, and keep coming up blank, Jessica just forced me to believe - with her little stunt - that it has nothing to do with your age, its not that your new, its just you. And that there is no reasonable explanation for how I feel." I didn't know what to say, when I came, I didn't expect a whole declaration, even though I hoped for on. To silence any doubts I may have had.

He ran his hands down his neck looking away when I didn't answer.

"I'm sorry - I didn't mean to, I wanted to tell you, this just wasn't how I planned." he snorted, meeting my gaze. "I'm a traditional man - you understand." I blush at the longing that's so prominent in his irises.

I still couldn't believe it, and I still couldn't shake the feeling that this was a dream and I would soon wake up.

"Will you not tell me what's on you mind now?" he coaxes, as I look up to see him only a few inches from me. My eyes meet his, they're dancing as they take in my appearance, and I remember how much I wanted to see him again, thoughts starting to make a little sense again, allowing me to make a coherent sentence.

"I missed you." I stated softly, his smile stays as his eyebrows rested over his eyes, they glisten as he rested his hand on my cheek, cupping the side of my face and I welcome the warmth of the tender action. Nuzzling against his palm.

"As I, you."

He backed me against the desk, so I was leaning against the edge, and I realize, just how much I trust him, and that he wouldn't force me to do anything. His intention have to be true, jus the look in his eyes made it so. But he hesitated, I looked up at him questioningly. He didn't pause for too long, until his lips softly brush against mine.

"Bella" he breathed, before enveloping my lips with his once again, its not long until it builds, our breaths becoming heavier as they collide, as he lifts me on his desk, the need to be closer to him great. I part my legs so he's standing between them, allowing not a breath of air between our bodies. He pushed his tongue between my lips and I forget any doubts I once had, this is real, there's no mistaking that, just the amount of emotion he poured through his kisses, the way his hands delicately cupped my face as if I would easily break if he handled me to hard. I gasp, feeling how very much he wanted me, my face burns as it presses against my thigh, his erection string against his slacks, my stomach twisted and stretched, never feeling this much physical attraction before.

The only thing that I regret thinking that, he probably has, he has felt this same way about other women, what if I was just the same like all of them? What made me think this would last? I shoved those thoughts aside, I just had to trust him, and us. My thoughts cloud as he starts to place sucking kisses across my neck, allowing us a chance to breathe. After all, I had only had sex a few times, with a steady boyfriend in high school, and even that hardly counted, a few only adding up to twice, only resulting in him climaxing both times.

This was different, this was Edward, Most likely a lot more experience than Mike had ever been, defiantly, his left arm, snaked around my waist, pulling me closer to him, another gasp escaped when he pressed me to him.

He pulled away, his eyes so dark, almost like a fern green, they studied mine, his breathing was ragged, they never wavered until his head lowered back down to my throat, my eyes automatically rolled in the back of my head as he sucked the skin.

This was heaven.

**A/N: I know its a little out of character for Alice to act that way, but I just felt like putting that in there for some perspective, because this wouldn't really be a good thing in real life, but this is my story, so I can do whatever I want. ; ) **

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Next Chap, well, the reviews weren't really what i was expecting but those who did, I LUV YOU ALL!! I was thinking, and I did this with my other Fic, if I made a certain number, with reviews, and if you guyz reached it, than i would update, I think I'll start doing that, all I want is feedback, is that too much to ask? Enjoy.**

_**Current: 61 - Goal 'till update: 71**_

**10 shouldn't be too hard, you guyz can do it, just give me your opinions and Ill be happy and update, I _know _everyone has an opinion. Longest, Longest, update yet.  
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But a quick knock on the door forced us to pull away, my eyes widening in panic, Edward and I were still panicking as he shoved a paper in my hands and motioned for me to seat myself at a nearby desk. I pretended to read the report of another as I watched form the corner of my eye, as he opened the door. The figure on the other side didn't even bother with the formality of a curt hello.

"Its amazing just how devoted you are to this university Cullen" he practically sneered, "Lingering around the Compass on the weekends when any other Professor is away relaxing lazily somewhere."

It was none other than the Dean.

Pompous Bastard.

If he didn't like Edward than I very much despised him.

I looked up at the wrong time to meet his stare as he strolled into the classroom. His eyebrows almost shot up to his hairline at the sight of me.

"And tutoring the same student no doubt? Ms. Swan is it?"

I didn't even bother to nod as a smug smile lit his face, I almost thought he was actually going to pat himself on the back for getting it right, he looked so proud of himself, I tried to hold back a snort. Edward walked behind him, frowning down at me, knowing he didn't feel comfortable with the way the Dean's eyes were lingering on me. I cringed, not being able to deal with the fact, if that's really what he was thinking.

"Actually – she was just leaving."

Still standing behind him, Edward's eyes pleaded with me to understand, oh, I did, way too completely. I began to stand up when the Dean's words stopped me.

"Oh, no she can stay, I don't want to feel like the intruder, I'll only be here a moment." His eyes never leaving me, even though his statement was directed towards Edward. It took everything in me to keep the apparent disgust I was feeling off my face.

"Aro, is this really necessary?" Edward sighed, his arms dangling by his sides. The man turned to glare at him, I could only assume, after all I couldn't see his face.

Aro…shrugged.

"I thought it best to come down here and tell you your father stopped by earlier, I was surprised when he told me you weren't at your 'place'." I couldn't quite make out the emotion that was lacing his words, loathing, jealously? At the mention of Edward's father.

Edward's eyebrows rose at this. "Is that a fact? I'm sure, if it were any business of mine, my father would have simply called me, and told me whatever it was, himself." Edward stated coolly, his eyes darting to me, Aro, not missing it.

He once again turned to me, a curt smile taking place on his lips, he really wasn't all that, unattractive, quite good looking actually, but his attitude, and the way he was acting towards Edward, made his looks mutate, his face deteriorating into a sneer, the frown lines always permanent and prominent on his face.

"Indeed. That's exactly why I'm here." My eyes turned to the doorway, to hear the thick, and smooth voice; it was not quite a strong British accent but still present in the timbre of the man's voice as it filled the room. I had been too busy scrutinizing Aro, the Dean, to notice that a blond man had half entered the classroom, even taking Edward by surprise for he had mostly stayed in the door way.

"Carlisle! Its about time." Aro commented, making his way to the two others, I knew he had to be Edwards father, not because they had referred to him earlier, but because of his eyes. Now, they weren't green like Edward's, but a soft blue, it wasn't the color that got me, over course, lacking comparison to his son, it was his penetrating stare, once his gaze met mine, it wasn't harsh, but more calculating, as if he already had me figure out from the moment his eyes landed on mine.

He was attractive, his son obviously inheriting this trait, his strong jaw and high cheekbones along with his sharp nose, his face was perfect along with his lips as they began to move, his light blond hair combed perfectly, not one strand of hair astray.

"Yes, I would've hoped that we would be able to have this discussion in private…" he trailed off, his eyes moving towards me once again. "I don't mean to sound rude." He nodded his head politely in my direction, his stunning eyes meeting mine for a brief moment. I stared at him for a minute before snapping out of it,

"Oh, yes, uh – no problem." I added dumbly. My communication skills making themselves known once again, they don't like to be ignored. I hurried to set the random paper back on Mr. Cullen's desk.

"We'll finish later – Isabella." Edward's dark green eyes studying mine as I walk past, apparently meaning more than what he said, I nodded quietly and made my escape, knowing Aro's eyes had followed my back as I left, allowing the shudder travel down my spine as I made it to the hallway. I sighed as I made it outside, greeted by the usual cloud's and rain, adding fog on the list for today, nothing out of the ordinary, but making it hard to see out past the courtyard.

I thought about going back to my dorm, but than I remembered the argument Alice and I had, it was unlike her to act that way, I wondered if she had a fight with Jasper, making her moody. I tucked my hair in my hood and dropped my head to my feet, for the rain had started to pick up. I couldn't help my thoughts wander back to Aro, his open stare, it made me cringe fiercely noting to never cross paths with him, especially alone. Than I thought about Mr. Cullen – Carlisle – I didn't know what to think, only seeing him for five seconds, only that he was as almost as striking as his son, probably dimmed by age. But what they were going to talk about, after I left, is what sparked my interest, or perhaps my curiosity. Something serious enough to where they needed Edward's father to be present?

It made me realize that I knew so little about Edward, who, I recently, technically secretly, just established a relationship with, a romantic one, I think, pretty sure. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, on the brink of a headache from everything going on.

That's when I felt someone tug on the back of my jacket, pulling me around the corner of a near by building, I was about to scream in surprise when another hand, covered my mouth, preventing me from doing so, my heart was beating frantically while an arm turned me around, and than.

Green.

"Sshh – it's just me." His velvet voice stated in a low whisper.

My muscles automatically relaxed, I sighed in relief never feeling so happy that it was just Edward. He pulled me closer, after pulling my hood off, making sure we were out of sight.

"Why are here? I thought – " I started to panic, what if they came looking? What if his father found out about this, would he be disappointed? Angry? His fingers came to rest over my lips again, softer this time, a small smile forming at the sight of my expense.

"I couldn't put up with their yelling much longer, I went to go get 'coffee'"

"They were yelling?" I whispered. He quietly nodded,

"Quite close." He breathed.

"Over what?" I wondered. I watched as his jaw clenched and his lips closed to press firmly together, forming a tight line. Edward sighed and shook his head.

"You can tell me, its not like I would even think of telling anyone else." I encouraged him. His green eyes met mine, he was debating on whether or not to tell me, and I felt hurt, not he that he didn't trust me enough, even thought I'm sure he had a good reason to keep this to himself.

"I should go."

Go? What?

He started to pull away, already distancing himself from me, shutting down.

"Edward. Wait." The use of his first name brought his attention back to me. Pain sparked in his eyes and I just wished I knew what was going on; he shook his head again,

"They're going to be wondering about me." Knowing it distracted him from leaving me once before, I pulled on the front of his shirt, standing on the tips of my toes as his head turned questioningly, only to be met by my lips. They cupped his bottom lip, sucking gently to get his full attention and he seemed frozen to my kisses, successfully keeping him here.

I felt his body relax under my hands as his palms cupped my face, his tongue pushing through, smoothing over mine, I felt a whimper building up from my heart to my throat and out my lips, as he increased the speed, pushing me back against the wall, his lips smoothing faster, his head swiveling to the side, trying to taste deeper into my mouth, causing me to moan. When he tried to step away I only stepped forward, pushing past his tongue so mince could enter his mouth, taking control, three times our time together had been cut and I was tired of it happening.

"No." I whispered as his lips pulled away, but than they traveled across my jaw and onto my neck, his body leading my back against the wall again. His fingers weaved through my hair, gently moving my head to the side so he'd have more space to cover with his heavenly lips. I felt my eyes drift closed as he continued to suckle the sensitive skin on the side of my throat. Much like he had done that night at the library. But just like than, he had to leave now also.

"I'll tell you later." He breathed against my now wet skin, turning his face into my hair. I smiled as he took in a deep breath, as he moaned,

"Hm, hopefully that will last me the day, even though I know it wont." He whispered, bringing his head up. His forest green eyes, were dancing like when I first saw him, hoping he could resolve all of whatever was going on.

"I'll try not to be so subtle next time on meeting you, but my statement was not false, I really did need to see you on a paper." He mused, my eyes fluttered closed as his lips ghosted across mine once more before departing, leaving me dazed against a brick wall, again.

- - - * - - -

I decided to do a little digging, after all, I didn't have anything else productive to do, so I went to the library, afraid that I would run into Alice if I went to my dorm to use my laptop, I knew I was being a little immature about avoiding her, but I just wasn't ready to face her yet, hopefully we could resolve it later. Of course, every university has a school website. And on their homepages, they also have their lists of Criteria and Faculty, including, the Dean, the head of a certain University. And in that case, it was Edward's 'friend' Aro. I was shocked to find out that he only started the last year, not much that experience, for how cocky and demanding he was towards Edward in particular, he had graduated here also, another surprise.

But I couldn't find anything linking him to Carlisle, or Edward, opening up a new line of questions, until – I looked up the graduating year of Aro, finding Carlisle, as well, that's when I looked back to the graduating class, and sure enough, Carlisle Cullen, was listed as one of the graduates.

They graduated together.

Well, it links them together, but it doesn't answer my question as to why Aro hates Edward. The website wouldn't list any grudges he may have towards the Cullen's. I sighed, turning away from the computer, obviously hitting a dead end for now, only increasing my curiosity, the only way to find out everything was through Edward. Maybe he would tell me soon enough, I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, noting it was already almost eight.

And I probably hadn't even skimmed the surface of this 'quarrel' they were having, which seems like it has been going on for quite sometime. Deciding I couldn't avoid it much longer, I walked outside in the misty, damp air, and headed to my dorm. I curled my arms in front of me, hording off the cold, the damp sidewalk already starting to freeze probably turning into an icy death trap by tomorrow, I groaned at the thought of tyring to make it to class without slipping at least once.

And if it was fate, when that thought ran past through my mind, my feet fell from under me, causing me to fly in the air and fell smack dab onto my back, knocking the wind out me in one big whoosh.

"Wa – Ow!" I was too out of it, trying to catch my breath and live to know who's voice it was, and then I was being lifted and carried, and than sat down.

"What a nasty slip." I focused to my right to see a guy with russet, creamy, brown skin making his teeth look bleach white against the contrast as he talked.

"No kidding" I grunted, leaning forward to get some air into my lungs,

"You okay?"

I was getting a big headache and my butte was wet and now cold, and I just wanted the guy to leave, but he did help me, so I couldn't just be down right rude.

"Fine." I grumbled.

I moved to stand but almost toppled over by the motion, then, I'm assuming, - the guy I don't even know – wrapped his arms around my waist to steady me, as if I was a damn horse.

"Look – do ya need any help?" I looked back at him as he smiled, I chuckled, and slightly delirous I'm sure, because I found nothing funny about me falling – ungracefully – all over the place.

"Don't you have other places to be besides the girls dorm" I cocked an eyebrow, this caused him to laugh, feigning mock defeat, even thought, I still found nothing funny about this, I was simply asking a question.

"No – not really, who wouldn't pass up the opportunity to walk in the girls dorm?" He pulled me closer to him and that's when I realized how close we really were,

"Well - I guess it would be smart to know that said guys name who wouldn't pass up the opportunity?" still concentrating on my pulsing back, as if all the blood was rushing to that one area, leaving the other organs in my body alone to fend for themselves. His showed his bleach white teethe once again,

"Jacob. Jacob Black." Lovely. I nodded, "Bella."

"Just Bella?"

I frowned, Yup.

"Pretty much."

He nodded, smiling again, almost blinding me with those white teeth,

Bella," he repeated, yeah, that was I. Then he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, sobering me up to realize just how close we really were, his arms _still_ tucked tightly around my waist, and the possibly that I was flirting just now, flirting? I'm not sure I even knew how to flirt properly without looking like a total moron, wait, I was acting that way a minute ago, basically by following, shook my head, trying to clear my head, lack of oxygen making it difficult.

That's when I noticed Jacob's eyes wander somewhere behind me, I turned to see, and there standing not far from me, was Edward.

Edward.

His face a complete mask, but before I could say anything, or even move, he turned, and disappeared from sight.

Pardon my French, but,

Fuck. Me.

Would he believe lack of oxygen to the brain caused it all?

I would believe not.

**TBC**

**_REMEMBER: 71 REVIEWS_ I know you all can do it ^_^**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: OMG was this so hard? I love you all, was it so hard to press that lovely button and tell me your wonderful opinions? See, this made me update alot faster, your reviews actually made me _want to _update, so see, its your benefit if you review so keep that mind! Enjoy ^_^**

_**Current: 77 Goal: 100 **_

**Heres a challenge, sorry but I just cant update every day, or will I? Prove me wrong guyz :D Longest, Longest Longest chapter yet. **

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**I didn't know where to begin with the expression on Edward's face, there was nothing; no anger, no sadness, no bitterness, no resentment, loathing, jealousy, betrayal, nothing, and it made no sense what so ever. I was glad Alice wasn't there when I returned to my dorm, probably God knows where with Jasper. Jacob did as he said making sure I got here, even though I found no comfort in his presence, I just wanted him to get the hell away from me after whatever thought or idea that probably had found its way through Edward's mind by now. I felt an uneasiness come over me, knowing he took this a lot more then any of the actual fact actually was.

He over estimated, leaving him now, to think up all kinds of horrible things. I didn't get any sleep that night. To start off my horrible day, I ended up waking twenty minutes late, making me lat for Edward's class no doubt. Lovely. Just Lovely.

But what made it worse, when I got there and opened the door, everyone stared at me silently, everyone, except Edward, he continued to jot something down on the board, his back facing me, not even bothering to acknowledge that I was there and even breathing. I scurried up to my seat my face beat red. I wasn't even aware of what we did through the whole class I decided I was going to do the simplis5t thing I could think of, when everyone left I would stay behind and clear up any worries he may have. Hopefully he wont be angry with me once I do, or whatever emotion he felt towards me, hopefully he would even give me the chance to begin with, I had to start slow. Baby steps.

Finally, he dismissed us, and I stood to gather my things, not in a rush at all, making sure that everyone filed out before they even noticed that I hadn't.

But when I looked up again, he was gone, he had left, even before anyone else did, his office door was still open, obviously not in there.

I was too stunned to even move, the strap of my bag still in mid air, until I noticed everyone had already gone, leaving me alone in his classroom, I could stay, he had to come back some time, surely he had another class.

I sighed, so he was angry with me, even to where he couldn't talk or even so much as to look in my direction, he was taking this all wrong, I huffed. Now I just felt frustrated, he wouldn't even give me the chance to explain myself over something that wasn't even a big deal, something so harmless! I huffed again, like the child I was, and strutted out of the room, all hopes of this day turning up at all, all gone.

But what I saw when I got back to my room before afternoon classes was the icing on the cake.

"Bella!!" Alice shrieked.

I did a complete 180 when I opened the door; I peeked being my shoulder to see Alice shoot up from her bed, knocking Jasper to the floor. I felt sick.

Ugh! I hated my life!

"Hmpf." He grunted as he thankfully landed on his stomach, there really was a god for that to happen, Alice gave us both apologetic looks, hey, I need it more than he did!

"I thought you had class!?" I closed my eyes and took one, deep, breath, squeezing my eyes tighter, making sure they wouldn't pop open.

"You know what – I don't care, just get the hell out of here, so I don't have to see any of it, No! Wait! I have a better idea, I'll leave." I pressed my lips tightly together and shut the door on the scene; I didn't ever want to see it again. Ever. Ever. Again.

Yes, I love Alice, but a best friend can only tolerate so much. We all have our limits, and that was _way_ past mine. I sighed and shook my head, willing the images to go away. Not caring about what else happened in my day, I planted myself on a random bench, not caring that I missed my next class, not caring about anything in particular, especially with a certain someone with green eyes, stop right there.

"You look like you've had one shitty day."

I looked up to see the same soft brown eyes from the last night, which basically was the cause of my bad day – today. I huffed and looked down at the ground, staring at my worn sneakers, not caring if he decided to sit down or leave. I was hoping he would take the latter.

"Wow – okay, a _very shitty _day."

To my strong dismay, he took a seat right next to me, perhaps I was just being mean, but I hand an excuse to be, if you stopped to think about it, but I didn't want to think of the reason why I was sitting on this bench, I was already trying so hard to get those images out of my head, it damn near gave me a headache.

"Let me guess…" he trailed off, stroking his chin for effect; I tried to hold back rolling my eyes, pa_lease._

"You walked in on your roommate fucking some random guy?" I couldn't help but whip my head around to start at him questioningly he shrugged,

"Happen to me more than one, I'm afraid." I grimaced,

"That must suck, but it just wasn't some random guy." I added,

"Close enough." He comments, his eyes diverted somewhere else. Then he scoots to edge the of the bench becoming animated, "And I never know when its coming, it seems whenever my day is going perfectly, I open my door and **Wham!" **he clapped his hands together, hard, causing me to jump.

"Sorry." He smiled softly,

I shook my head, not being able to hold back the smile at the thought; perhaps it was good that I was talking to him. I felt better then I did five minutes ago. But then my thoughts drifted to Edward once again, and I can't help but think about what he must b thinking about me and the guy I'm even still talking to right now, Jacob must think I'm leading him on when I don't really mean to, when that's something that hasn't even crossed my mind. I had to go before he decided to do anything else, I just needed to be by myself and _think_, so I lied.

"Hey – Jacob, I have a class – right now actually, I'm late so…bye." I kept my face down, occupying myself with my bag so he wouldn't be able to catch my lie. I was never good at this. Not even giving him time to get any words in before I left him sitting there, rude, I know, but I had other things to do.

I walked quickly along the courtyard, and then, as if fate just wanted to laugh at me, I saw him.

He was walking towards the parking garage, but he was there, right when I thought about him noticing me, he looked up and his eyes landed right on me, causing me to stop dead on the walkway, his blank stare paralyzing me to a stand still, it was hard to believe in that moment that I had ever been close to him, that those lips had ever moved tenderly and passionately against mine. Like I had dreamed the whole thing, and in that moment, I believed that, I had made everything up and he just saw me as another student, as if none of the intimate things we said and did ever took place. The feeling that crept up inside me was horrible, so much to where I couldn't even stand it.

He turned his head back to watch where he was going, not fazed by seeing me at all. I felt like I was stranger, and so did he, which hurt me the most, he felt so far away from me now.

I was wrong, _that_ was just the icing on the cake.

I hated the fact that I had a whole day in front of me, before I could have the chance to attempt to talk to him the next day. But there was a big chance that he would just hurry out of the room, like yesterday, avoiding me completely; he had practically sprinted out of the room in order to keep away. As if I was an actual disease. Did he just expect me to forget everything? Everything that went on, everything we both said?

I couldn't do it, there was no possible way, if he was the person I thought he was, then he _must _be having a difficult time attempting such a thing. He couldn't just throw those feelings away so carelessly, unless he never felt anything at all.

I will make him see he can't just forget this and go on his merry way he _had_ to feel something. I turned around, deciding to make it ten minutes to my class, knowing he couldn't impact my day so thoroughly; I would go on as if nothing had happened. I simply could not allow it, especially if he was going to act so stubborn, and bull-headed, another characteristic that I could unfortunately relate to, I might as well use it against him.

**- - - * - - -**

I was proud of myself that I had the will power to go calmly through class, but I wasn't so proud when I had to trudge back to my dorm room to complete the work they assigned, that was a set back.

Damn Edward and his assumptions.

He was completely and utterly wrong and I only hated it more that I couldn't not for the life of me, stop sulking about it, it only took a number of months to become such a dominant part in my life, and I hadn't even notice until now. I never knew how much I obsessed over him, making feel like a creep. I sighed, there was just no way around it, I made myself promise myself that I would confront him tomorrow, no excuses, even if he did run off like the coward he was being, the way I had be acting, I would simply follow, because he would forever torment me, if you look at it from the dramatic point of view, I would always wonder 'what if's' through my whole life, if I don't fix this little, stupid, yet big impasse, bit in the fact that it will simply determine if we keep seeing each other romantically, even if it includes us sneaking around just to be together.

I rolled my eyes at the cliché.

One new acquaintance because of my clumsiness caused this, because Edward was a lot more jealous and more protective than I calculated or would have ever thought. With the determination of making this right, I shut my textbook and shut off my lamp, eager for the next day to get here already.

**- - - - * - - - -**

"Good morning everyone, I hope you all collected a book from the front of the class before you seated yourselves."

I watched warily as a few students hurried to grab what they had forgotten. I let out a tortured sigh as I read the title for the twentieth time.

_Othello. A play by William Shakespeare._

That's when Edward sent daggers my way, his sharp gaze piercing right through me, he must've heard me, I flinched by his harsh glare. I wanted to pout right back at him, he wasn't at all giving me the time of day to explain.

"Is there something wrong Ms. Swan?"

I felt my face pale at the realization that he singled me out, a different feeling coursing through me than the very first time he did so. That first day. I quickly shook my head. My throat closing up, enabling me to speak, I was appalled to say the least, that he could be so cruel, it was almost unfair, only making it more imperative that I speak with him, I couldn't help but have the deep feeling in the pit of my gut that he purposely picked this book for one reason, and one reason only.

"Now since this is obviously British Literature, it would only make sense to study William Shakespeare, one of the most known writers, even now, we still have his plays being taught in the curriculum from high school and up, that is why I picked this particular play, based on an old Italian novel, written in the Elizabethan and Jacobean Era. Its believed to have been created in the early 1600's but no one can be sure on the exact year."

I flipped through the pages as he continued, trying to keep my attention diverted else where, any where else but his scrutinizing gaze, yesterday I just wished he would glance in my direction, but now, his penetrating stare would not move from me.

"Shakespeare seemed to be in favor of tragedy's, Othello, is one of the, much like Romeo and Juliet, it deals with the faults of love and how it can blind the eyes of some, taking away any sense they may have, leaving them foolish."

I felt my face heat, knowing the story all too well. I could feel his eyes penetrate my form as he stated the last sentence, but I didn't dare look up from the flipping pages brushing against my fingers tips as I continued to page through the book.

"Making a point that love can never seem what it's cracked up to be." He added, venom in his words, making me wince, wishing that there was just a hole I could sink into and disappear from his sharp glare. I _did_ absolutely nothing! I wanted to scream at him for assuming so much without even getting the full story or explanation.

It was obvious why I picked this play, you see, Othello, had a lover, named Desdemona Lago, a peasant, convinced Othello that Desdemona had been having an affair with one of Othello's confidants, Cassio, but in reality Cassio had his own mistress, Bianca, Othello was so angered he didn't search for evidence himself, he ended up smothering Desdemona, his so called love, in her sleep, without even knowing or confronting her, once Othello finds out his mistakes, he ends up killing himself, afraid of being caught.

That's when I looked up at Edward, but his back was towards me, he had turned to the board, apparently writing down our assignment.

"I want you all to read to Act one Scene three, also – I want you to write a brief description of the beginning characters make sure you're up to speed, we will be reading this rather quickly, make sure you understand what's going on in the play."

He went on,

"And we will be having tests over every act, I don't want _anyone_ looking this up on the internet, or whatever, I went throught the entire play to choose the most random lines and scenes to base my tests on, make sure you are prepared. I want you all to have the full effect of the plot and moral."

I wanted to groan internally when his eyes flashed to me, only making anger bubble up inside me, enough was enough, twenty more minutes, this was just too much. He would no longer go with thinking that I could easily give up something so serious as him and I, he was only insulting me by thinking that – thinking that this was just a crush that would leave, no this was much more than that, he was being doubtful and he couldn't be. Edward was a lot more insecure than I had thought.

The next twenty minutes passed by at a snails pace, I couldn't concentrate on the book in front of me, the words turning into a big jumble of letters, my eyes kept involuntarily glancing up to see Edward writing away on a piece of paper, printing his elegant script on the sheet, His eyebrows kept flaring at something, the usual line forming in between them, I wanted to smooth it, away, Goddamnit, I wanted to be his.

I sighed and tried to concentrate on the words in front of me, and that's when he looked up,

"Alright, I think that basically wraps everything up for today, if you have not finished, please do." He sighed, his fingers massaging his temples this was my cue, everyone started leaving while he stood from his chair, and he was not leaving, he was heading for office, good, everything was working according to plan, only could I face him? Did I have enough courage to take the few feet into his office?

I had to, I simply had no choice it was either now, or walk out and never try again, which simply was not going to do.

I took a deep breath and hoisted my strap onto my shoulder.

That was it.

I rolled my eyes again at the cliché.

_**TBC**_

_**CURRENT: 77 GOAL: 100!**_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Phew, okay, i uploaded, keeping to my word, my next challenge maybe difficult, but you have to try, because it would be your last update for the next 3 weeks or so, because I'm going on vacation, sorry, but everyone needs a break ^_^ so, **

_**CURRENT: 100 GOAL: 140**_

**I am so proud of you guyz, what an improvement, and all you had to do was put in two seconds for one simple review, i have updated three times in the last week, my record for this story, see you guyz get what you want, and I get what I want everyone's happy. : D Longest, Longest, Longest, Longest update yet ^_^ **

**This is all one big, long scene : D and continues after, so. Enjoy!  
**

"You have a question for me?"

I stood in his doorway, in disbelief that he wouldn't even look up at me, he was standing, but he was just so _enraptured _by the computer monitor in front of his face, like it would be unheard of for him to lift his eyes and just look at me. I sigh, trying to push my anger aside, someone had to act like the adult here, and ironically, it was going to be me.

"I wish you wouldn't assume so much." I breath, feigning defeat, my shoulders hunching over as I fully step over his threshold.

"Pardon?"

I fell my eyes narrow. He still hadn't looked up and I couldn't believe he was acting this way, my hands balled into fists as I kick the door shut for privacy, I was very close to losing my patience, something that very rarely happened, Edward - just brought out the worst in me it seemed like.

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about." I growl, he sighs,

"Bella - I never said anything - "

"Exactly!" I interrupt, throwing my hands up in the air, exasperated, "You never even confronted me! Show anger, jealousy, disappointment, I don't know! Anything, all I know is, nothing happened! And you never took the time to find out! Or get my side of the story, or just in general, you just sulked like a teenage boy who didn't get his way!" I rant. I finally had his attention, I was happy, but only for a moment, his face was a mask once again, and he ran his hands through his hair, his eyes narrowed, torn.

"I never - blamed you for anything, I was never angry at you…" he sighed, turning his head to the side, averting his gaze somewhere but me. " - but at myself." he finished, his eyes shutting for a second.

I was confused at this point, and he answered with a sigh, I felt so horrible all of a sudden, he literally looked like he was in pain, pain that I put him through, suddenly it was my fault, I couldn't explain why, but that's how I felt. His torn eyes met mine, but I couldn't, I diverted my gaze somewhere else, anywhere else but his stare.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

"I cant…I cant afford - to be jealous, cant you _see_ that Bella?" My eyes darted up to him, his hands out, palms up at if he were pleading with me, and he was. He looked defeated, and just, done. This _was_ my fault I thought, that's why the feeling was so strong, because it just simply was.

"It's, not my place…" he trailed off, rolling his neck, he literally looked like he was going to crawl out of his skin, and I was shocked into silence, paralyzed, no longer angry, I didn't know how I felt at this point, I just watched as he unraveled before me, no longer the composed, cold Professor he had been in front of his students a few minutes ago, the comparison to how he looked know was overwhelming.

"I _can not _keep you from seeing someone your own age - I cant, I can not keep you from someone who is just," He had never been at a loss for words, I honestly didn't know what to do but stand ramrod still, my arms hanging pathetically at my side, silent.

"You - wouldn't have to keep your relationship a secret with him, its right, its better…" he trailed off, pained. I felt like he was trying to convince himself more than me. But I quickly shook my head at his words, finding my bearings, he had always been the adult, he was looking out for me, holding back, _thinking I wanted_ to be with Jacob, he was wrong, completely and utterly wrong, he couldn't be farther from the truth with this.

I stepped forward, "Your wrong - I don't want to be with him - whatever made you thing that? Just because it would be convenient?" I asked in disbelief. "You're the Literature Professor, not to sound cheesy or anything, but you of all people, should know that - love - is anything _but_ convenient"

My face burned all the way to the roots of my hair, did I love him? I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, that wasn't the point - we could breach that subject later.

"I don't want to be with Jacob, I want to be with you, surely you've had to have seen that by now?" I ask, he shakes his head,

"Bella, you have an outlet, I'm not forcing you to do anything, Jacob Black? I've had him in my class, he's intelligent, determined -"

"But not you" I cut him off quietly.

"You can be with him freely!" he throws his arms up in anger, than he starts to pace his office, almost like he's trapped and has no way to get out, is that how he felt? Was he using this excuse to get rid of me? He ran his hands through his already messy hair.

"You don't have to sneak around, it's no affair, its an actual relationship."

"Stop it!" I shout, Edward froze, in shock, and I'm quite shocked myself at my out burst, I quickly step up and cup his face in my hands, his eyes locked with mine and the intensity with which he held my gaze was breath taking. I had to pause for a moment to find my footing.

"I'm. Not. Going. To. Be. With. Jacob." I split the statement into sentences, trying to beat it into that thick skull of his. I felt weird, having to comfort him, but I was, none the less, hoping to convince him that I really did want _him_.

I never knew he could be so insecure.

He shakes his head once more stubborn as ever, and steps back, away from my intimate grasp, he just didn't get it.

"I'm leaving."

I freeze, along with my heart, followed by every cell in my body.

What?

"What?" I whisper, hoping he doesn't mean any of it,

"For the holidays, I've been wanting to see my family, and they've been quite eager to see me." He sighs, wiping a hand over his face as he steps further back, further away from me, already out of my grasp.

"Perhaps…with time - " he breaths, turning his back to me. I shake my head even though he cant see it.

"When has time ever helped anything?" I wonder, anger once again building up in my veins, for his stupidity, and bull headedness, always thinking everything he believed was the absolute truth and right thing to do.

"You are not the man I thought you were, if your just going to run and forget all this, you think time - will make _me _forget? You think _time_ can alter the feelings I have towards you? Surely _you _of all people understand through ever piece of literature you've read, has love ever gone as planned? Has it _ever_ worked when two people _try_ to work it out by separating? I don't think so, you say you cant make me feel these things, well you can not, undo them either." I conclude, honestly out of breath.

His back was still facing me by the time I had finished, and I watched as his hands clenched, and unclenched into fists repetitively, as if mulling it over, maybe I had gotten through to him just, maybe.

"It's just two weeks Bella, perhaps…" he repeats, shaking his head at the ground. It cant possibly just be about Jacob, this is more, I realized, and I step closer, the Jacob issue had already been resolved, it was either he just didn't want to see me, or something else, something entirely different, and much bigger, more important, something that could not be ignored. Its like the light bulb finally clicked on,

"What has happened?" I wonder, urging forward, "This just cant be about somebody else, this is something more…" I drift off, trying to figure out what he wont tell me, trying to put my thoughts together into sentences.

"Its nothing." he sighs, raking his fingers through his hair and finally turning to face me, I was stunned to see his eyes now blank and cold? Devoid of all emotion, but I knew better the light clicked on again, the change of tactics, trying to get me to back down, I was just as stubborn, I wouldn't budge so easily, perhaps not at all.

"I need space and time - Isabella, surely - you can understand such a thing?" he bites, his stance rigid, I'm taken aback by his change of mood, not able to find words, they sounded so real and true.

"What is it?" I ask, almost demand, on the edge of desperation, who would he confide in if not me? Who else did he have to tell beside me? I had a feeling that his father was in on all of this, along with…

He shakes his head, his lips curling in disgust, as if he knew what was coming, there was a knock on the door. Edwards eyes squeeze shut for two seconds until they land on me, but he doesn't say anything, instead he strides past me to the door to open it.

Aro.

"Professor Cullen!" he exclaims, and I roll my eyes at the false pleasantry of his voice, Edward stands there, silent, right in front of his vision, blocking me from his view. But he crooks hi head to the side, knowing he was hiding something. And to my disgust, his eyes spark at the sight of me, my stomach churn painfully.

"Well, now Edward, a tutoring session yet again? Could I be interrupting?" A spike of fear runs through me, he knows, he has to with the way he is speaking on the matter.

"Partially correct I'm afraid, Isabella had some minor grammatical error in one of her papers, but still excellent none the less, I would congratulate her." his soothing voice puts a calm to my worries, he seems so calm, compared to how he had been two minutes ago. Aro's eyes land on me, a smile stretching across his face, its anything but kind.

"May I see this 'excellent' paper?" he asks me directly, I panic, what paper? my eyes shift to Edward's desk, sure enough my paper is on top, I silently thank God. I reach for it, but Aro is already there beside me,

"A poem no less, how lovely." he comments, snatching it up from the table, I glance over at Edward to find his eyes on me, pain etched across his face, as if he had failed somehow, my heart automatically going out to him. I continue to watch him as Aro dreadfully began to recite the poem out loud:

_If thou must love me, let it be for nought_

_Except for love's sake only. Do not say_

"_I love her for her smile-her look-her way_

_Of speaking gently-for a trick of thought_

_That falls in well with mine, and certes brought_

_A sense of pleasant ease on such a day"-_

_For these things in themselves, Beloved, may_

_Be changed or change for thee,-and love, so wrought,_

_May be unwrought so. Neither love me for_

_Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,-_

_A creature might forget to weep, who bore_

_Thy comfort long, and lose they love thereby!_

_But love me for love's sake, that evermore_

_Thou may's love on, through love's eternity. _

I exhaled after he had finished, not realizing I had held my breath through out the whole thing, it was the poem I had turned in a few days ago, the poem on Barrett Elizabeth Burning. When Aro had finished, his eyes immediately darted up to Edward,

"Exceptional work, your 'student' is very talented." I cringed when he emphasized student, he knew and everything was ruined, but how? Were we that obvious? How could he have possibly found out?

He was a pompous bastard, how did anyone put up with him?

His face was contorted into a sneer once his eyes landed on me and I put two and two together, this wasn't just Jacob, the Dean found out, Edward would lose his job, and I certainly would be kicked out. He wanted to get over me, move on, for both our sakes, he was using Jacob as an excuse. I sighed and averted my gaze, just wishing he would leave now, the only question I had was why Aro hated Edward so…

Why was Aro here to begin with? Simply to harass him? He had come here without a reason, and if so, he had not presented it yet. My small fists balled at the thought of him simply coming here to give Edward a hard time.

"Packing I see, well, give Carlisle greetings from me, I do wish you a pleasant vacation, certainly a long one." he mused, but I kept my eyes on Edwards computer, I couldn't face him, not until Aro left, surely he would've noticed that I figured it out by now. Especially from this encounter.

With that Aro thankfully left, only receiving a silent nod from Edward, I wasn't hard to figure out to stay silent, if you talked it would only push Aro longer to harass, god did I just want to go to him then, the urge to wrap my arms around him had never been so strong - even when I first met him.

"Figured it out yet?" he whispered in his silent office, once again closing the door. Tears welled in my eyes, but I looked down at my feet, unable to see anything anyway.

"He certainly has." he growled, striding over to his desk. I try to speak but I know if I do he'll figure out I'm crying, my hiar already shielding me from his gaze, I feel so foolish, so ashamed, everything was ruined, and I've lost Edward, he wont risk anything anymore, not for me, I could already tell he was done with this.

"Bella" he sighs, but I don't look up, I cant, traitor tears had already began to quietly cascade down my cheeks, I hear him walk over.

"Bella?" And I cant hold it anymore, a sob bursts foth and my shoulders heave with the force of it. He curses under his breath, something he's never done in front of me berfore, but I don't care. I don't care because his arms instantly wrap around me, I cling to him tightly, everything hitting me at once.

Edward wanted to leave.

We were caught.

I would lose him.

Aro is a dick, I snort at that once, understatement.

Aro treating Edward so horribly, I couldn't stand it, and for what reason?

I cling to Edward tightly, desperately as I try to quit my sobs, into his chest, making them muffled.

"Sshh, Bella, shush." he coos, running both his palms down my back, until one comes to cup the back of my head cradling it against him. He kisses the top of my head and my sadness is temporarily taken away, my heart swells and throbs in my chest, perhaps he still has feelings for me, he couldn't give them up that easily if he really did care for me to begin with.

"W-why hasn't he reported it?" I hiccup pathetically, trying to take a calming breath.

"No proof." he breaths, running his fingers through my hair, my now painfully dry and puffy eyes drift close, at the heavenly feeling.

"He cant just go on assumptions." he adds, soothing his left hand down my back as he pulls me closer to him, if it were possible. Then he rested his chin on the top of my head. I took another deep breath, and relaxed my muscles.

"You okay now?" he wondered quietly, but still nonchalantly, not loosening his grasp one bit, I nod in his chest, running through the newly designed list in my head, could we still work this? Then I hear him take a deep breath, as if he were nervous about something,

"Bella?"

"Yes" I wondered curiously.

"How's does Christmas away from here sound?" He asked hesitantly, I pull back slightly, just enough to see his face, my eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Then my eyes widened as I understood what he was talking about, go with him? For Christmas? What about his family!? What would they think?!

"Wont it be suspicious if I go? What about Aro?"

"Oh please Bella - people leave to visit their folks all the time, besides - you have me to cover for you."

We both start at the new voice, not even noticing anyone came in and sure enough, we diverted our vision to see a little pixie with spiky black hair, her smile wide as she took in our embrace, my face started to heat, turning 10 shades darker I'm sure, and I look up to see an adorable pink paint Edwards cheeks as well.

"In second thought, could I come with you!?" she squeals at her new brilliant idea, I bit my lip as I take in the mock horror on Edwards face, and cant help but laugh.

Oh Alice.

_**TBC - REMEMBER!**_

_**CURRENT: 100 GOAL: 140**_

_**---- I know you guyz can do it, hit that button -----**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**I'm sorry this chapter is shorter then the others, but here's an update, I'm getting back on the ball, I have a humongous apology to give, a ginormous one, but I wouldn't really know where to start, I'll start with this update, and more to come. I am very pleased with all the Alerts and Favs I am getting, truly flattered, Reviews, yeah, if you want to.  
**_

_**I'm not really satisfied with this chapter, but I just wanted to get it out there so I could start updating more frequently again, everything has just not been going my way, I have to appear in court tomorrow, and then I have surgery in 2 weeks and then my b-days next week, something I just realized today. **_

_**Anyway, don't mind me, you can just read I don't mind. **_

_**Enjoy.  
**_

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* * *

  
**

"Oh how quaint!" Alice commented, closing the door as she made her way into Edwards's office.

"This is such the perfect picture!" she exclaimed gleefully clapping her hands together in excitement. Edward just looked down at me, keeping his arms comfortable wrapped around my waist. I shook my head at him,

"Don't mind Alice, she's trying her best to act normal, her size just consistently contradicts how annoying she can be." I joked,

"Exactly what I was thinking." Edward mused as we both looked in her direction, Alice put on a fake pout for us.

"You two are going to just gang up on me is that it?" she challenged, bouncing about the room, her head turning in all directions to take in his office only in a few seconds.

"Of course it wasn't our original thought." Edward winked down at me and I forgot all about what we were fighting or fearing a moment ago, now it seems like it never even happened.

How could it have, when things seemed so at ease?

Alice sighed, and stopped plopping on Edwards desk chair,

"I was only kidding about the second part." She sighed again, tapping her finger to her chin as she rested her elbow on the desk. Edward left me for a brief moment to lock the door to his classroom, assuring both of us that we wouldn't have any more unwanted intruders, not that Alice was unwanted, I'm sure we were both thinking of Aro as unwanted.

"I'm sorry, Bella." She soon came to give me a hug in my surprise.

"'Bout what?" I wondered, hugging her back.

"Oh just, you know the fight we had?" Alice shook her head, it finally clicked and I stated,

"Don't worry about it." I reassured her with a tighter embrace, once Edward returned.

"I'm guessing you apparently know?" he asked, strolling in and shutting his office door also, taking extra precautions.

Alice bobbed her head in a nod.

"Yep, I wouldn't mind covering Bella at all." She smiled, folding her hands behind her back, God; did I mention how much I adored Alice? Edward sighed, running his hand through his disheveled locks, squeezing his eyes shut for a few seconds.

"Would you mind giving us a little privacy, Alice?"

Alice's form shot up straight and giggled, I felt so embarrassed, my face began to burn, at what she was probably implying, or thought what we were - typical Alice. But I loved her.

"Sure, my offer still stands though!" she called as she shut the door behind her as I sighed. I looked over and watched as Edward relaxed, his shoulders slouching and falling forward, than his green eyes met mine, smoldering and burning as they studied my face, but still drooped, no doubt fatigued by all this. He fell back against the black leathers couch that rested longest the west wall of his office, leaning his head back against it. I stood still and concentrated on his atoms apple now bob up and down as he swallowed, his skin pulled tighter by the way he had tilted his neck back, tension evident in the side tendons of his neck, now more pronounced.

I silently made my way behind the couch; he didn't move or open his eyes as I rested my hands on his shoulders, quietly beginning to knead the muscles there. I took note that his forehead relaxed as he also relaxed deeper in the couch, his back seeming not as stiff. I added a little more pressure, concentrating on a knot he had by his left shoulder blade, working my thumb over the stubborn bundle of muscles there, I took in how hard and lean his body really was as my hands trailed up his neck, kneading my thumbs continuously over the back, gaining a satisfactory moan from him. That's where the tension was, he tilted his head up and to the side, and so I added more attention there by his silent request.

His head then rested back against the couch as my hands trailed up and through his hair, my pointer and middle fingers lightly kneading his temples, fending off any growing headaches. My eyes then focused on his, realizing they were open and concentrated on mine.

"Thank you." He whispered, his lips barely moving.

My hands trailed down to his jaw, so they cupped it somewhat upside down, my eyes moving to his lips, slightly parted as his breathing had increased during my ministrations, my face started to color as I moved my gaze to his lap, noticing a slight bulge. His eyes were piercing; his gaze never wavered when my eyes met his once again. As if he were trying to gouge my reaction by his obvious state of arousal.

"Your welcome." I murmured back, his lips rushed up to meet mine, surprising me by the amount of force and feeling poured through his mouth, I instantly became lost, my eyes fluttering closed as his hands tangled back, fisting his long fingers in my hair, pulling me closer. He sat up from the couch and turned around, never breaking contact, an embarrassing yelp escaping me as he effortlessly lifted me up and over the back of the couch, pulling me to him. My breath caught when I straddled his lap, a position I had not been in with him yet.

I didn't think he would've asked Alice to leave just so we could do this. His hands cradled my head as his tongue smoothed over my teeth, causing me to let out a moan, my face turning crimson by the lack of restraint. I smooth my hands down his neck and over his shoulders squeezing lightly he must work out in his free time I concluded mindlessly.

But sooner then I would've liked, he pulled back, leaving us both panting for air.

"This isn't what I intended…" he breathed, leaving an open kiss on my forehead, resting his against mine, I caught my breath, and relaxed into him, enjoying his breath whispering across my face, cinnamon mint I mused.

"Oh I don't mind." I sighed, dazed, getting a chuckle out of him, I enjoyed the vibrations coursing through his chest and into mine, reminding me how close we still were.

"Believe me, I don't either – but I wanted to talk with you." He murmured, combing his fingers through my hair, getting rid of some snarls that he had created a few moments ago. I rested my forehead against his shoulder and nodded; just enjoying the fact that I was in his arms again, that I could be, that he'd let me.

With this he took in a deep breath and wrapped his arms around me,

"Obviously – I'm way too selfish to stay away from you, even though its in our best benefit to stay from each other – "he began.

My heart swelled at his words, I didn't want him to stay away, I was in far too deep now there was no longer any hope fore me, forever getting over Edward now. He ran his hands down my back, probably thinking how to continue, and I'll wait, however long he wanted me to.

"I – I just wanted to use Jacob as an excuse, even how horrible that sounds, I just wanted to keep you away from the problems I seem to be having, unlucky ones at that, but evidently that didn't work out the way I planned."

This was my queue,

"And I'm glad it didn't." I state quietly, pulling away to hold his questioning eyes.

"Its not just your problem, its both of ours, we both dragged ourselves into this mess – quite knowing the consequences of our actions – I think you explained yourself for not walking away, I'm still here, so you apparently know my decision and I don't plan on leaving soon." I concluded, feeling the strong impulse to just run my fingers through his glorious hair, feeling his soft strands slide in between my fingers tickling my palm. He turned his head to the side, planting a kiss there, his eyes never wavering from my gaze. That's when I thought it best to ask my questions.

"Why does the Dean dislike you so?" I wonder, he sighed, his eyes now moving to something now more interesting behind me.

"Well – its rather… complicated." He breathed, then he effortlessly lifted me from his lap, gently setting me on the couch beside him, before getting up and walking over to his extensive selves of books. After a couple of minutes, he pulled one out, one that's older then probably the both of us. He expertly flipped through the pages and quickly landed on one, as if he had done the same thing many times before, saying, while striding over to me,

"My – grandfather _and_ father have both been head of the board here, once in their lives," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, "While my grandfather had come to the states that is." He added indifferently. "I didn't care at the time, but I regret to say that's how I got this job so effortlessly and early in my teaching career." He concluded, "Rather then for my ability but more like I had the right connections." He scoffed, a hint of sourness in his tone.

"You're an excellent teacher." I reassured him, but he just nodded, "Maybe, but that's why Aro is so sour towards me in particular, he's worked hard and tirelessly, which I respect greatly, but it caused him to grow bitter, especially when I started as a Professor here, he knows in a couple of years – I could be a possible threat, what with my family history, it would be a no-brainier for the board, it would only be expected of me." Edward sighed, putting the book back up after showing me the pictures of Carlisle and his father.

"Why don't you go somewhere else?" I asked lamely while he took a seat next to me.

He shook his head, "Isabella – I couldn't, my father has expected this of me since I applied for Oxford, the same exact University he and his father graduated from, he would be extremely disappointed if I didn't follow through with this."

"Why this University?" I wondered, there were many others his grandfather could've chosen. Edward simply shrugged,

"Beats me, my grandfather never told Carlisle I think, though Carlisle did get the hunch that he simply met my grandmother here, and so they stayed because she didn't want to move away, but he did eventually take her back to England to his Estate there, where they're now retired."

Panic pierced through me, wouldn't Carlisle be furious then if he found out about Edward and I? After all, if we were caught – then it would ruin Edwards's chances, and I would be no doubt expelled, forget about applying to any other Universities once word spread around. I shook my head, standing up, Edward eyeing me questioningly.

"Does he know? About…" I trailed off, Edward began to nod and my shoulders fell – who else knew?

"Isnt he angry? I mean, who wouldn't be?"

Edward shook his head, definitely surprising me.

"He couldn't help but be empathetic after all, Esme was one of his patients, that's why he decided to teach medicine here, he…rebelled against his fathers wishes" Edwards eyes looked somewhat wistful as he said this. "He wanted to be a Doctor, even going through Med School without my Grandfathers financial help, I think Carlisle is still paying off his loans, but when he met Esme, it looked like he had no other choice, he ended up following in his fathers footsteps after all." He breathed.

"Isn't that what you want?" I wondered, he stood up and shook his head.

"I never wanted a future planed out for me, I wanted it being unknown, something I could figure out on my own, new, mine, unexpected and surprising" he grabbed both my hands in his and a soft smile graced his lips.

"I guess that's why I'm so thankful for running into you, the most unexpected thing that has happened to me yet, and I'm sure you'll hold that." His beautiful smiling growing,

"And yet – such a cliché." I sighed he chuckled at that,

"I suppose so." He breathed,

"I've given up completely Bella, I'm afraid there's no way around me now" he smiled.

"Good, you'll probably be sick of me in 2 weeks time." I concluded, thinking the truth, he probably will be.

"Are you guys done yet?" I burry my face in his chest, mortified, the muffled voice behind the door is no one other then Alice. Did she hear everything!?

"I feel so horrible for you, that little girl is your roommate?" he mused, his eyes dancing as they looked down at me.

"I heard that!"

"I though you locked the door?" I wondered he shrugged.

"I thought I did too." I sighed, looking over at Alice, since she had opened the door.

"And you guys are hugging again!" she acknowledged in delight.

"I snorted at this, why yes, yes we were, and good job Alice. Edward let out a breath of air through his nose, looking at me.

"Alice, what I requested was sometime with Bella – that was hardly any time at all." He stated, his eyes never leaving mine, was that a mischievous gleam in them shining back down at me?

_**Reviews are nice, but I really don't have a deadline, I think you guys deserve a chapter and soon, I will, with the best of my abilities. **_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Some of you may have noticed I posted another story, that's one reason why I've been so lazy on updating, just so you know, if I'm not updating frequently that just means that I'm writing up chapters either for that story or this one, I have 17 chapters already for Impossible, I just have to type them up.**_

_**Enjoy.**_

_**Reviews are highly appreciated.**_

_** Tell me what you think.**_

_**Or if you have any questions, feel free to ask.**_

* * *

"Can you imagine how boring it is out there? I don't think you understand, and when you two are in here…" she trailed off, sighing dramatically while plopping on the couch Edward and I had just occupied moments before, well, me on Edwards lap. I bury my face deeper into his chest, trying to hide the prominent blush and mortification that was probably taking hold of my whole face. My head moved forward and then beck, Edwards chest expanding as his lungs filled with air for a long drawn out sigh, his arms enveloping around me tighter.

Alice sighed along with him,

"You know – I was only kidding about coming along, can I at least have a proper goodbye?" she asked, feigning sweet innocence, yeah right, Alice. I thought.

I looked up to see him cock one of his thick but still perfect eyebrows.

"Even if that means you'll steal Bella away from me, again?" he mused, a light smile tugging at the corners of his lips at the huge amount of her gaiety. As if it was almost impossible for her to stay in one place for a handful of seconds, Alice continued to bounce around the room, touching this and that after she had jumped up from the couch.

Alice was just being Alice.

"Yep." She giggled, coming to stand still.

"I'll only be a sec." She added, as if reassuring him, and then – his phone rang, causing him to reluctantly to step out anyway, as he took the call.

That's when I saw a blur and Alice had already shut the door, standing in front of me all in the same second. I was shocked when she immediately shoved the back of her hand in my face; naturally, I almost fell backwards by the movement, her fingers right in front of my eyes.

"Alice, what – " but I was cut off when my eyes finally were able to focus, noticing a ring resting on her left ring finger, perfectly snuggled in place.

"Huge rock huh?" she stated barely able to contain her excitement, I couldn't help but grab her and squash her to me in a very Alice like fashion, squealing and giggling with her, the situation called for it so I had an excuse, people just don't get married everyday y'know. I had to justify something.

"Oh Alice! Why did you not tell me sooner?" I wondered, suddenly feeling terrible for fighting with her.

"I tried," she giggled, "But you were apparently occupied with other things." She laughed, my face heated at the last part, yeah and she had to interrupt us, I shook my head and smiled,

"When is it? Are you sure you two aren't rushing into anything?"

She smiled, "Bella – it's been four months, one of my longer relationships and I just know, it _is _Jasper, he's the one for me." She sighed dreamily, tears forming in both of our eyes, Alice had no idea how lucky she was, well, maybe she did, if only my luck would turn around for a change.

"I love him Bella, and I… will you – "

"Oh, of course! Alice you don't even have to ask," I reassured her, making sure that our whole disagreement was over. Alice squealed, quite loudly, I might add.

"Oh! I promise the bride maids dresses wont be too hideous." She giggled.

I sighed happily, if only…

"By the look of the ring, it seems like he has some money." I commented, examining the ring more thoroughly – Alice proud to show it off.

She sighed again, "Yeah, I think he's the heir to some oil company back in Texas or something." She stated indifferently, shrugging it off. "It's not about the money though, well, maybe just a little." She giggled. I wrapped my arms around her, making sure she knew I knew that's not what she was after.

"Making up?" I looked up and smiled to see Edward casually leaning against the door frame.

"Alice is getting married." I informed with a big smile, Alice practically unable to control herself.

"Congratulations." He smiled, somberly, my eyebrows flared at the tone and sudden change in mood.

"I should probably go – I wanted to see Jazz for dinner." Catching on to Edward's change, giving me one last hug before leaving.

Then Edward's dark emerald eyes met mine, I may've caught on to what he was thinking because it just came to mind, on the fact that we continued to hide, that no one knew, except for Alice, and possibly Aro. We were sneaking around as if we were in some sort of affair.

Maybe we were. Maybe that was what this was.

I stood still, only the sound of our deep breathing could be heard in the silent room.

"Come with me." He urged suddenly, I couldn't deny it – it was Christmas with his family – terrifying yes, but it would give us the chance to get away from everyone who just thought of us as teacher and student, not just a man and a woman, it would be a chance to just get away from everything. Period. Perhaps it was what we needed.

I smirked and silently nodded; he probably knew I was going to agree anyway.

A beautiful smile broke out on his face, practically blinding as he strode over and wrapped his arms around me, his lips placing thankful kisses across mine, hey I wasn't complaining. Hungry and passionate.

"Maybe I should please you more often." I mumbled against his mouth, he chuckled.

"They will love you, I'm sure of it." He mused, anxiety starting to build up already, how was he to be so sure? Some people just didn't like me, his family might be the same way. I sighed, he instantly noticed my distress.

"You're wasting your time worrying." He tried to reassure me, smoothing his palms down the length of my arms, he leaned to kiss my forehead and I relaxed, there really was no reason to panic, at least not yet. I guess if they didn't like me then they would…

My mind went blank.

Who am I kidding! I'm his student, they wont like me! They'll hate me!

"No. They wont." I hadn't realized I had said the thought out loud until then. I looked up to see him smiling softly, my choice was already made, of course I was going to go, I couldn't stand to have to stay two weeks away from him after all, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

"Alright then." I relented, satisfied in his reaction when he pulled me closer to him.

"There's absolutely nothing to worry about."

**- - -* - - -**

30 Minutes to Mars – Debussy – Anberlin – Tchaikovsky

Interesting collection. I mused, not to mention quite diverse, considering the many other albums packed into the middle console of his Volvo. Debussy I could understand, and Tchaikovsky, that stuff gave off some sort of sophistication, him being a Brit. Lit. Professor and all, it just made sense.

The other two, not so much, it reminded me that he wasn't that much older then I was, or different, so odds were we'd probably have a close range of similar favorites.

No offense to Damien, but I pulled out Anberlin's 2007 album 'Cities'.

"Change of music?" he asked taking his eyes off the road to look in my direction. I smiled at the mock offense he took on his face.

"I like Damien Rice as much as the next person but these guys, are one of my favorites." I shrugged, sliding in the CD I had taken out of the case, swapping tracks. I sighed playing along.

"Well – next your just going to start taking over the AC, or the seat adjusters, and all the work I put into assuming authority will be wasted." He sighed.

I chuckled, considering it as I skipped to my favorite song 'Inevitable'.

He quieted down and glanced over at me as the lyrics filled the car.

I looked over at him and smiled, noticing his eyes had softened, continuing to listen.

"This is one of my favorites." I commented, to fill the silence in between us, quiet other then the music playing. He nodded without a word, diverting his attention back to the highway, his hands tightening slightly on the wheel, just enough for me to notice.

What was that about?

I took a deep breath, leaning my head back as I watched the continuous trees whiz past the car window, not really paying attention to a single evergreen.

Of course Alice had begged to come halfheartedly, knowing she was going to stay anyway, of course she helped me pack, insisting I take something more then jeans and t-shirts of course we both fought on the issue as usual, she got away with packing cashmere sweaters and dress slacks that she didn't even mention in buying me in her spare time. Before I could protest she threw the suitcases in the back, bidding us a 'pleasant trip'. My stomach started to twist and churn as I watched a mile marker go by.

**Forks: 23 miles.**

Only roughly twenty-three more minutes to get my shit together for me to think of something to say and what I was going to do in front of his family. Saying that I was starting to freak out would've been an understatement. I jumped as I felt Edwards hand wrap around mine, not noticing until then that I had been wringing my fingers, and had gone completely stiff in my seat.

"Relax, there's no worries, what so ever."

"What will they say?" I wondered in a whisper almost to myself, I'm his student, their thoughts just have to be negative, I know it.

"They'll understand, they'll all understand." He smoothed his thumb continuously over my knuckles, unfortunately that wouldn't get me to relax, not one bit.

That's when it clicks.

"What do you mean they _all_?" how many will there be?! Okay – now I'm in full panic mode, I was starting to feel that I was going to hyperventilate already taking deep breaths. I hadn't noticed that the car stopped until Edward pulled off his seat-belt, cupping my head in his hands to get my full attention.

"You're panicking Bella." Ha, no shit Sherlock, I snorted, "Let me finish – there's no reason to - Carlisle? You already met him, Esme – my mom – already loves you, Emmett – he wont care." He snorts at the name. "My brother will just be glad to answer the mysterious question of my sexuality, I'll explain later." He added with a scoff as my eyes narrowed in confusion. "I don't think a two year old will care and as far as Rosalie, my brothers wife…well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there." He encouraged, which was probably fifteen minutes from now I took another breath. "Five people – only five people." He added.

"Five." I breathed, nodding okay – I could do five.

"Great." He smiled, a dazzlingly smile, leaning in to kiss me, lingering longer then I thought he would. I relaxed against his hold, as he placed sensual, drugging pecks across my lips, soft gentle pulls at my bottom lip. He pulled my face closer, surprising me by his sudden turn of intensity.

"What was that?" I asked quietly as he bent down to place sucking kiss on the skin under my jaw, causing me to shiver.

"Just to let you know – there's not much privacy at my parent's house – I'm just trying to…get what I want while I still can." He whispered, continuing his onslaught with those marvelous lips of his. "So I can last." He added, pulling back, running a hand through his always-disheveled hair, which still managed to get crazier during out ministrations. I was speechless by his looks, remembering how gorgeous and just how sexy he looked, especially now.

His smile grew in size as he realized what my thoughts must have been circling around. I scoffed.

"Now, don't go getting cocky on me now."

He grinned, while pulling on his seat-belt, readjusting his pants as he did so, his eyes never leaving mine as he whipped his head to the side, trying to remove a stray piece of hair, the action just caused my neck to hurt,

"I'm afraid I already am love." His English accent coming out through his husky voice. I couldn't help but blush furiously at this. The thought that I could turn him on. And the fact that we had yet to have sex, I was still too embarrassingly modest to talk casually about such a thing. At least with Edward and how old was I? Jesus.

I rolled my eyes to mask my embarrassment.

"Just drive." I breathed, turning up the music, to find 'Hello, Alone' playing on the same CD.

I shook my head as he peeled off and onto the highway, realizing that I was about to have the chance to really get to know _him_, not the persona he seemed to wear around campus and not the person I painted of him, the person I really thought he was, I guess not.

I think I'm about to fall harder as he's really revealed to me.

And I thought I couldn't get any deeper then this.

Wrong again.

I leaned my forehead against the cold glass of the window, letting out a long sigh.

Here we go.

- - - * - - -

"Oh Edward!"

I stood as still as possible behind him, thinking that maybe if I'm quiet enough they wouldn't know I was there. When Esme – I could only assume – pulled him into a tight embrace though, her eyes immediately landed on me.

I couldn't take in her expression, only that she was beautiful, and looked young and exuberant, even for how old I imagined her to be.

"And who do we have here?" she arched her perfectly plucked eyebrow, then a sense of pride almost shot through her features, if I wasn't confused already. But then I almost forgot everything when Edward turned around, the most beautiful beaming smile I had ever seen making purchase on his lips. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me into his side, a place I felt I really belonged.

"This is Bella."

I laid my left hand on his chest, while extending the other, Esme taking it, her hold completely friendly, both her hands encasing mine.

"Its nice to meet you." And that's when Alice came to mind, trying to hold in her excitement, Esme turned her gaze to Edward and I watched as they had a silent conversation, her eyes so full of pride and love it made me miss my own mother.

"And Bella, this is my mother, Esme."

"Your house is lovely." I smiled, as I expected, it was huge but it wasn't drafty or dark, it was bright and warm and if I wasn't mistaken I could smell cookies baking in the kitchen that appeared to be down the hallway.

"That's so sweet of you, come in, its quite chilly outside, you look positively frozen."

The entry was definitely welcoming, giving you the desire to settle in comfortably.

It was so – homey, for lack of better words.

"I have hot coca on the stove or coffee brewing – its your choice." She smiled at me, "I already know your choice Edward," she berated her son with a light nudge enveloping him in another hug.

"Mom." He chuckled, mouthing 'sorry' to me, I just smiled, completely understandable, considering Renee would always go into hysterics whenever I visited her, hugging me fifteen minutes at a time while in tears right at the front door, from her behavior she'd make you think I hardly ever visited her, which wasn't true. It's just that this year she was in Florida with Phil's family, and since Charlie had remarried the last year I thought it best to let him be with the first Christmas with the Clearwater's.

"Don't scold your mother, I can hug you twice if I so choose." She stated stubbornly, so that's who she got it from I mused.

I made my way down the hallway, taking in all the family photos and paintings adorning the walls. Edwards fifth birthday, camping, piano recitals, I didn't know Edward could play, I thought, then I saw another picture of him, must've been senior prom, by the looks, his arm securely around a strawberry blond's waist.

She was gorgeous.

I thought back to my prom, Mike and I didn't even make it in the building, I shivered, I guess we all have our mistakes regarding to dating I tried to reason.

I jumped as two hands rested on my shoulders, I hadn't even noticed I still had my coat on until Edward started to slip it off my arms.

"Esme has gone upstairs to fetch my father." He stated, laying kisses across my jaw.

"She's…friendly." I tried to get out, not being able to come up with anything better with his kisses. Especially with the things he was doing.

"Edward." I mumbled, as he bit my ear, taking the lobe in his mouth, I didn't know why he was beginning to act his way.

"I'm sorry." He breathed, stepping back, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." My eyebrows flared but before I could argue, we heard steps descending the stairs.

"Ah – Edward." We both heard Carlisle say, enveloping his son in a hug, with a pat on the shoulder, a different greeting from when I first saw him. They both stepped back,

"Emmett and Rosalie will be here shortly."

Great. I thought.

His eyes landed on me and they started to dance in amusement, not a reaction I was necessarily comfortable with, definitely not one I understood.

"Bella, its nice to see you again." He nodded, smiling. "I'm sorry, but we weren't properly introduced before." He extended his hand, I reached out and shook it, noticing how warm it was. "I'm Carlisle, and I'm glad you could join us for the holidays, I've been wondering when a woman would catch Edward's eye, and which one in fact, he always seemed to be a picky one." He mused.

I sensed Edward stiffen, glaring.

"Oh, none of that son." He shook his head, winking at me, I smirked, he seemed friendly enough.

I heard Edward sigh, "Of course Bella would take your side."

"Of course." He chuckled as his cell phone began to go crazy, his lips immediately turning into a frown. "Excuse me."

"Alright – here we go sweetheart." I turned around to see Esme coming towards us with two mugs. "Edward had told me what you like Bella." She smiled brightly, her eyes filled with pride once again; I'd have to ask Edward later on that one.

"Thanks." I smiled looking forward to the hot drink filling my body with warmth, she wasn't wrong when she said I looked cold, I had been freezing the whole ride, even though I usually am cold, never really fond of that constant state of rain and ice in this state.

"The usual." She commented, somewhat in disgust to Edward, handing him a steaming mug.

"What is it?" I wondered.

"Hot apple cider." Edward replied enthusiastically and for a second I could see an eight year old being handed his favorite drink only received on special occasions, only on the holidays.

Cherished.

I couldn't help but chuckle at Esme's apparent look of disgust.

"If he asks you to try it I strongly advise you to decline." She told me, warily watching him gingerly take a sip of the stuff.

I decided to stick with my hot cocoa with extra, fluffy and sweet marshmallows.

Yum.

"More please." He stated in a rush, presenting the empty mug to his mother. I laughed as she rolled her eyes, but still smiling softly, she probably made a batch every year just for him I thought.

"He gets it from his father." She informed me on her way back to the kitchen.

"Uncle Ned!"

Edward groaned then, and I turned around to see a blur fling itself into his arms.

"Is your Dad still calling me that?" he sighed in exasperation, holding a little boy in his arms.

This must be the two year old he was talking about earlier, the one I had to meet.

"Come on bro – it suits you! – Hello." He cut himself off as he must've noticed me standing silently in the hallway.

"Whose this?" he inquired, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, I inwardly cringed.

This will all be over soon. I chanted.

"Emmett, this is Bella my – "

"Love interest? Eddie here doesn't have many of those." He told me, a smile still on his face, showing dimples on either sides of his cheeks.

I blushed.

Could this get any worse?

"Bella's his student." I felt all the blood instantly drain from my face as I saw Carlisle appear behind a gorgeous blond, who just entered the house her eyes turned sharp immediately at the comment as Emmett bellowed out in laughter.

"Edward! Didn't know you had it in you!" Walking over to clap him on the back quite hard.

Edward – glaring daggers.

Yes. Yes it could.

* * *

_**Cheesy chapter. I know.**_

_**Anberlin. Great band, I might add.**_

_**Reviews are nice. Just so y'know. **_

_**And yep, that's it.**_

_**Review. Pretty please. **_


	14. Chapter 14

Edward placed the toddler on the ground - oblivious to everything going on.

His eyes shot to Carlisle - a burning forest fire - his father just shrugged.

I felt too ashamed and embarrassed to do anything.

"If your wife and kid weren't here right now - so help me."

"What!?" he got through chuckles, raising his hands up in surrender, "What did I do?"

"You could shut up, for one." he growled through clenched teeth, apparently trying to keep his cool, and really angry, I stood aside - suddenly feeling unwelcome then before.

I shouldn't have come, I had no where near enough courage to look up and see how the blond was looking at me, her gaze burning wholes through me already.

"What is going on here?" Esme exclaimed, returning, her eyes going to Carlisle.

"Edward and I were just about to go to my study and talk."

"That's sound accurate." Edward seethed, his hands in fists at his side, his sharp glare never leaving his father.

"Then do it quickly." Esme scolded, "Dinner is almost ready."

I watched Edward walk upstairs almost leading the way for his father. I jumped as Esme's hands landed on the top of my arms.

"Now dear, care to help me cook?" she asked softly - sweetly, I smiled, the motion difficult as I started to feel my eyes prickle with the warning of tears.

"I would love to, thanks."

I couldn't thank her enough, I would do anything to escape the scrutinizing looks of Emmett and his wife, Rosalie, I assumed. I followed her quickly into the warm kitchen, two ovens already on, filled with almost finished cookies - they smelled delicious.

"Its smells wonderful in here." I commented, taking a deep breath.

"Well thank you Bella, Emmett and Edward always looked forward to my cookies I bake every year." I could see why, I thought, they smelled amazing - reminding my stomach that I hadn't had anything to eat all day, I was worried I wouldn't be able to keep anything down.

"Care to have one dear?" I nodded, as she handed me a full plate, I took two, starving enough already.

But before I could take a bite.

"Auntie Em!" I smiled as Esme rolled her eyes at the obvious play-on.

"Now Aidan, don't expect me to give you sweets if you continue to make me feel old." she scolded him halfheartedly, a smile on her face.

"He still carries that movie around, its like his own bible." I turned around to see Rosalie stroll into the kitchen, automatically shooting down my self-esteem a few points, Emmett right behind her.

"Alright!" he exclaimed in a rush as he snatched five cookies off the plate I was holding.

"Esme's baking is legend." he informed me, maybe he wouldn't take this hard, I hoped. I had about two more to win over at least I thought, I wasn't all too sure about Carlisle.

"I have dinner in the oven, so don't go spoiling it." Esme warned him, pointing a spatula in his direction, this probably how it was whey they were little and I couldn't help but wonder where Edward would've been in this situation.

"Come on, Mom you gotta think this as a compliment." he stated around the four cookies in his mouth. A laugh slipped out as I watched Rosalie smack him across the head.

"Quit be obnoxious, please."

"Jesus Christ Rose!"

Then Aidan tugged on her leg,

"Mommy - Dad said a bad word."

"Yes Aidan, two actually, what should his punishment be?" she smiled evilly down at her son as they thought up ways to torture Emmett.

They both looked up at the same time.

"Soap - or Tabasco's sauce?"

"Jes - uh - I - neither." He whined, smoothing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Way to go Rose." Esme cheered on as she went through the back door outside.

I leaned against the counter watching the scene unravel when both Edward and Carlisle entered the Kitchen. Edward automatically coming to stand by me. He looked okay.

"What's going on here?" he whispered in my ear, his tone lighter, it felt safe to chuckle.

"They're debating on whether or not to rinse Emmett's mouth out with soap or Tabasco's sauce." I concluded.

"Ah - he'll pick the soap."

"They've done this before?"

He laughed, "Oh, dozens."

"You think he'd be immune to it by now." I added, surprised to hear Edward laugh, kissing my lips softly, my face burning.

We were in the middle of the Kitchen.

I looked behind him, but they weren't even paying attention. Emmett was now flaying his arms about at Rosalie as she feigned mock disappointment - Aidan dancing around his bulk, eager to get the soap.

Carlisle had relocated outside, after his wife.

Edwards' arm snaked around my waist pulling me into his chest and I couldn't help but feel like I fit, even though it wasn't a very good thing to surrender over to - I knew it could only come back to bite me later, no mater how badly Edward or I wanted myself to fit in. I couldn't see it happening not with his whole family, maybe some. I allowed my temple to rest on his shoulder already feeling the throbbing in my head set in - all the nerves and anxiety had been packed in so long it seemed to always cause migraines.

"Okay kids - I need you to set the table before supper will be ready, Aidan, Emmett, dears."

I chuckled at Emmett's rather loud groan.

"Oh mom - " but he was cut off by Rosalie smacking him in the back of the head, already with china plates in hand, I could already notice the amount and extent of the lovely, leafy gold pattern that embroidered the plates, I was now afraid to eat off them let alone put food on them they seemed too elegant for their original purpose.

"Those are beautiful." I commented, drifting toward the table as Rosalie set one of each down in front of a chair. I jumped when Carlisle came up behind me,

"Imported from Italy - hand crafted and painted aren't they just?" he added somewhat proud. "They were from one of my wife's friends, a thanks for her expertise in interior design for his restaurant."

"Oh it was nothing." Esme chided, silently delighted by her husbands repeated praise I was sure. Her form gracefully gliding in the dining room with a steaming platter of food, Rosalie following in toe with another - I was overwhelmed by the amount of delicious looking and smelling food, I had always just cooked for two. Something fast, easy and simple just something for Charlie and I, a simple meal just to suffice our hunger, but this, this was something else entirely. I was all too eager to take a seat an dig in.

Politely, with good manners intact, of course.

**- - - - - * - - - - - **

"Dinner was amazing Esme - thank you." I praised, carefully and delicately sloshing the piece of china in the hot soapy water, extra cautious as to not knick or damage the apparent cherished pieces, too priceless to put carelessly in the dishwasher.

"There's no thanks needed, I've been waiting to meet you - Edward was starting to get fed up with how many times a phone call I mentioned about him bringing you."

I was startled by this - that he had actually talked openly to his parents about me, even by out, statis - for lack of better words. I didn't know what to say to this so I just washed while she rinsed, wondering what Edward was doing - already anxious to see him again.

_Jesus Bella - it had only been fifteen minutes. _

I sighed, already engulfed by my thoughts, like the plate sinking, immersed in water before able to reach the surface again.

"Something wrong?" her soft voice filling the empty kitchen, Carlisle had wandered up to his office, Emmett, and Rosalie had gone to put Aidan to sleep in one of the guest rooms, they would be staying here for the duration of the holiday. Which made me realize, where would I sleep? The Cullen house was big, surely, with plenty of rooms - but still, I wondered. Then I remembered Esme had asked me a question.

"Oh - I'm sorry, just spaced out for a minute."

It wasn't a complete lie.

"It must be hard." she commented, as if talking to the hot water of the faucet, keeping her eyes down, focusing her perfect, soft lotioned hands rinsing the beautiful china, it just added to how surreal it was for me to be here. Esme didn't look old - so Edward couldn't be either and Emmett, he maybe was two years older then him? Three at the most. She was just the beautiful, step ford wife, perfect in every way, loyal to her husband, kept this huge house clean, without the help of a maid. Keeping everything pristine as if out of a _Country Living _magazine, the ones Renee used to throw on the coffee table, never a reader, but being constantly sent in the mail from an unknown source.

"I remember when I first met Carlisle and - " before Esme could continue, wailing could be heard from the hallway.

"Oh dear, what happened?" she turned around to rest her forgotten wet hands on her hips, taking in the crying toddler.

"Auntie Em! Auntie Em!" he wailed between choked sobs, running in with a bear blankey securely tucked to his chest, wiping his soaked eyes.

"What on Earth happened sweet?" she cooed, picking him up tenderly as if he would break with a careless pull or tug. He wrapped his small arms around her neck, burying his nose into her shoulder.

"Night." he sniffed.

Rosalie sighed, coming into the kitchen, in defeat, "He forgot to say goodnight to everyone." she breathed, rolling her eyes, obviously ready for bed herself.

"Of course my all and loving husband relocated to his first love once this guy started to break down."

"Isn't it too late for football?" Esme rolled her eyes, looking down at her grandson.

"Sweet dreams little sweetheart." she placed a tender kiss against the toddlers temple and I couldn't help but feel a tug to my chest - now add loving Grandmother to the list.

But then I was caught looking confused at the light blue eyes that were inherited by his mother, his arms were outstretched in my direction, zoned out, I held out mine. Esme placed him in them without hesitation and I felt so stupid for being caught off guard like this, but I barely knew this little boy, only a few hours and yet his soft warm flannel covered frame was automatically curling into mine, bidding me a good sleep into my neck. Rosalie's calculating eyes never leaving me. As if he need comforting before facing the dark - full night, but it was I , he was comforting me, and with him in my arms, he could convince me that I could and would belong with this pair - with this family that seemed so tied in with one another, as if me stepping in would throw off everything.

But Edward and I, suddenly felt like it could work, would work.

A silly thing to come up with, with a little child in ones arms, the thought coming up as Rosalie took him to bed - satisfied.

Esme stood there she was, quietly, staring off. Thinking I could only assume. Her face calm and collected, tender and soft, who could look beautiful even after years of stress and wear and just living. As if the cells had not yet given up. Her skin still smooth, only a few laugh lines and faint crows feet. I felt the need to asked how old she was, but stopped myself, in doing so would only be thought of as rude.

I turned back to the sink - Esme too, and we continued our task with the dishes, falling into a comfortable silence.

**- - - - - * - - - - - **

I lay engulfed in thick - warm comforters and throw pillows, a huge king sized bed surrounding me, nothing about this room fitting me at all. It was huge, contemporary with tans, browns, whites and creams. The colors dimmed almost to blues by the moons soft beams trailing in from the long with windows and balcony facing the east. The balcony itself looking down into the terrace full of Esme's self planted flowers, and bushes, trimmed to perfection. Beyond that, was a wall of worn and old tress, permitting the air with evergreen and pine needle perfume, visible from the French doors looking out. Couches feet away from the bed surrounded the fire place, looking as if from a hotel suite.

Edward's bedroom was down the hall, but that's why I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't sleep because I was lacking a book to read - because I missed my comforter, my mattress, flat, not big and puffy from lack of use. I missed my lumpy dorm bed, not this luxurious over stuffed mattress that seemed to want to eat me whenever I attempted to roll over and change positions.

And I missed Alice.

I sighed, doing a major sit up, the burning feeling present in my abs as I tried to disentangle my body from the blanket and safely get off the bed at the same time. A long breath escaped my lungs when I finally stood up.

A cotton tank top and flannel pants failing in trying to ward of the cold. I focused on my bare feet pad across the room - keeping in mind the numbing cold that blew into my room. Yes - I knew it was snowing outside - but it seemed to fall in with my mood. With my robe covering my body I made my way onto the balcony. The snow covered cement somewhat heightening my senses.

So, in the course of my lack of sleep, I stood and watched the haunted gray air, the moon glistening against the snow as each individual flake fell silently. Placing themselves on each branch gracefully and perfectly, one after the other. Glistening like natures own glitter. I watched as my warm breath contrasted and clashed with the freezing air, my toes and nose prickling as the skin numbed, turning red. My cheeks blistering against the wind. It was so peaceful here, Forks, perhaps I would move here, somewhere quiet and slow, where I could think. The overcast skies making the whole sky look like a bubble, as if this place were cut off from everything else, untouched by the outside world.

My thoughts wandered to the full pages back in my dorm but yet they still felt untouched.

My book.

I hadn't added on to my story in so long. Perhaps I never would, I had barely thought of it now. In how many months?

I pulled my robe tighter, deciding that cold would only stimulate my senses, only keeping me awake when my body wished for sleep. But my mind was too full, it was still up and running even after a day like this. I still couldn't feel exhausted enough to sleep. I walked back inside closing both doors behind me.

What to do. What to do.

I left my room quietly walking down the long hallway. I decided to search for a library, a house this huge and old fashioned was bound to have one. A den, perhaps, Carlisle's office played itself as one.

But I was a little worried to open doors, afraid to open one to a bedroom with a sleeping occupant, Esme and Carlisle's or Rosalie and Emmett's, or worse, Edwards, I couldn't quite remember which was which. During the long tour he had given me, there were so many doors to choose from. So I played it safe and wandered wont eh grand staircase. Marble, I wasn't really surprised, I wandered won the hallway, turning left and gasped, it was huge, surprising me in the fact that I had missed it in the beginning.

The room was practically a ballroom, one I would picture from one of Austen's books that I've read countless times.

It was covered in gold's and creams, thick curtains covering several French doors that open to the same long balcony, I smoothed my hand down the side of a near by pillar - marble.

It had to be a dream.

They had never specified how long this house had been in the family, but the age seemed to increase the linger I stayed here.

I timidly stepped to the middle of the floor, imagining dances going one, women with frilly and elegant dresses dancing circles around me, mockingly beautiful. The room itself seemed surreal, the moon's light sweeping in from the imperial sized windows, almost as tall as the breathtaking ceiling. Even crystal chandeliers hung delicately from the top. The light was gray and ghostly - the room dark, only illuminated slightly.

This whole place was a dream. I felt like I had slipped into one, I was expecting half-naked angels to be painted on top of the ceiling, the Disney movie popping into my head. Reminding me that I came down to look for the library, if only lumiere and cogs- worth were here to help me. I chuckled.

"Not quite the reaction I was expecting."

My gasp echoed through the room, bouncing off the golden stoned walls. I turned around to see Edward leaning against one of the six archways that served as entrance way to his breathtaking place.

"Its - breathtaking." I breathed, taking in his face and hair in this lighting, or lack there of.

He uncrossed his arms and pushed off the wall, his t-shirt and flannel pant clad from making its way to me. We both looked like we slipped back in time, both covered in pajamas in the middle of a 19th century ballroom, yep, this was a dream.

"It is…something." he stated, now a foot away from me.

"Esme and Carlisle love to entertain. So this room comes in handy if you can imagine."

"Entertain." I all but squeaked. People entertain for Christmas. And I was going to be here for Christmas. I gulped, I hated parties, and with friends of the Cullen's only made it worse.

He nodded.

"I just imagined this place unused." I tried to cover up.

"Oh no." he shook his head - his black eyes sparkling in the sparse light. He knew my fear. I never was a good liar.

"Every excuse they can use." he stepped closer, cupping the side of my face, his hands surprisingly so warm on such a cold night.

"Uh hm." was the most intelligent answer I could come up with at that moment. He lowered his head silently - his eyes smoldering and hot as his lips descended to my forehead. Placing an open mouthed kiss against the skin - lingering.

My knees wobbled.

His breath fanned against my face, hot and sweet, mint lingering when he probably had brushed his teeth before going to bed. It seemed almost heavy and primal, shock waves coursing through my stomach at the sound. He stepped closer, his stubble that started to appear already in the late night. Scraping against my soft cheek as his lips dragged to my ear.

"Come back to bed with me." he whispered.

* * *

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	15. Chapter 15

My face heated as my breathing picked up also, he pressed his chest against mine - but keeping his hips at a distance, afraid, I could only assume, at what I would probably feel. He planted his lips to my neck and I forgot what to say and how breathe.

But an already familiar wailing, apparent from upstairs, answered that question for us. The cries coming louder and closer. We both froze and I looked over Edward's shoulder to see a light turn on and illuminate the huge scale of stairs, if we stayed where we were, it was a guarantee we would be caught. After all, what would be our explanation? We both had the sudden urge to get a glass of water at the same exact time during that time of night? Not very convincing.

Edward pulled me with him and behind one of the curtains that had been pulled aside of the windows. He pressed me close to him, breathing now slow and steady, trying to keep quite.

"B-ut I'm th-irsty." we heard poor Aidan get out between heaved sobs.

"Yes, little guy - I know shh."

I was surprised to hear Emmett's hoarse whisper, obviously still half asleep as he cooed at the frustrated toddler in his arms. I expected Rosalie to take care of late night incidents such as this.

"Rosalie probably threatened him with sleeping on the couch." Edward whispered hotly in my ear - thinking the same thing as I. I couldn't help the delicious shiver that coursed through my spine, his lips pressing to the back of my neck.

"Bell -" I froze as I heard the little boy yawn my name, had he seen us? Impossible.

"Yes - Bella is asleep like you should be, and Auntie Em will make pancakes tomorrow, would you like that?"

"Yeah!" He all but yelled, Emmett quickly shushing him as they made their way back up the stairs.

Aidan was talking about me?

The light shut off and we finally relaxed.

"I should get to bed." I whispered, afraid of myself. I was a grown woman and still I couldn't do this for myself. I pulled away.

"Yeah," Edward answered, nodding, his arms falling to his sides as he released me. I sighed, of course I managed to make this awkward between us. He yawned and walked out of the curtains, I didn't follow. I wanted to stay hidden until he left, for some reason my confidence leaving me when I needed it most, I thought self-consciousness was suppose to rub off after puberty?

I guess another glitch in my programming.

I stood and listened to his footsteps echo and then become faint, until I heard nothing at all and it was just me and this elegant, flawless room, I was the perfect antonym.

I sighed, the song _Cadence_ came to mind.

I felt like I had been so stupid to have agreed to come here, a student, a pathetic one at that, thinking that this could be something more. Hoping.

I slid to the ground - still behind the curtain, the perfect hiding spot - only I could stay here for the next two weeks without being noticed. I wiped pathetically at the silent tears that started without my permission.

What a mistake.

**- - - - - * - - - - - **

"Belle?"

I was awakened by someone tugging at the long…blankets? Around me. Wait, they were hanging…

Snow, moonlight, marble, Edward, ballroom…with curtains, hiding, and then tears.

The night before came back to me as I opened my eyes to see Aidan's striking blue one staring at me. I groaned already knowing I was probably going to have a bruised tailbone, I had fallen asleep sitting still on the cold tile floor.

"Hide and seek?" He questioned, turning his diaper clad butt around so he could plop soundly in my lap, right at home. I made unattractive _oof_ as he did so. He leaned back, twirling a red car in his hands lifting it up behind him - right in my face so I would be able to see it properly.

"Yeah - truck." I yawned, pushing it aside, trying to stretch out the cranky muscles in the back of my neck - God, did I feel old.

"Where's mommy?" I questioned, thankful it was just Aidan who found me. At least God gave me that much dignity.

"Asleep, the whole house." he shushed, putting his small hand to his lips to emphasize the fact that we needed to be quiet. I groaned again, if Aidan was up and the whole house was still asleep then it _had_ to be pretty early.

That plush, overstuffed, monster bed was sounding fantastic at that moment - but I couldn't leave Aidan alone. Who knows - he could get lost in a house this big.

"Okay big guy, let's get up."

I couldn't help but smile as he automatically wrapped his arms around my neck as I began to stand. We made our way to the kitchen, with Aidan content on my hip. Gurgling with sounds of a car as he whirled it around in the air.

"Let's see…" I mumbled, rummaging through cabinets, assuming he wanted something to eat.

"Pancakes!" he exclaimed, bouncing, jerking backwards almost falling by his attempt.

"No ones up for pancakes." I tried to explain,

"Auntie Em? Auntie Em?" he began to ask.

"No, Auntie Em's asleep, like everyone else." I shushed.

"Belle?"

"Yeah, I'm Bella."

"Belle!"

There was absolutely no rhyme or reason, but I just went along.

"Bella."

"Belle!"

"Beauty and the Beast is one of his favorites also."

Even in a wrinkled bath robe, sleep eyes and tousled hair, she was still gorgeous - something I could never compare to.

"I noticed - he seems to like incorporating movies into daily life."

I got her to chuckle, her shoulders shaking silently.

"You have no idea." she sighed walking over to take him off my hands, or literal out of. I sighed, knowing no there wasn't the chance of me messing something up, he was a handful and I only had him for approximately ten minutes.

She bent down to let Aidan go, scurrying in the other room - apparently forgetting the pancake query moments before. If only I had the worries of a two year old. Then she made her way to the coffee maker, already dumping cups of ground in the filter, God did I need a nice cup of coffee. As if on queue, as soon as Rosalie turned it on to brew, Emmet came trudging in the room, his eyes barely open, automatically heading over to her as if they were linked, always able to find each other, even with their eyes closed.

He buried his sleepy face in the crook of her neck, her back still to him.

"Coffee." he mumbled, enveloping her in his arms, her hands coming up to cup the back of his head.

My chest constricted, already turning around and leaving them to their simple yet still strongly intimate moment. My eyes prickling with the warning of tears. All this showing what I was missing, unable to find or failing to achieve. I felt the need to escape. But when I turned the corner of the hallway I ran into Edward. His copper strands gloriously in disarray from sleep, something I had failed to get last night.

He probably saw the distress I must've had on my face and pulled me aside into another sitting room, away from the stairs and main hall.

"Bella?" He questioned with my name, I shook my head, not even knowing what to say even if I was in the mood to talk.

"I don't know what to say." I said quietly - trying to keep my voice even, I couldn't break it would be so foolish, especially now, so I took a deep breath.

You didn't stay. I wanted to say.

His eyes became dark and smoldering, his stare hard and intense as he pulled me closer, moving farther away from the entry way to whatever room we were in. There was electricity and tension between our bodies as he pulled me close, the tension only becoming tighter and thicker, practically closer to snapping with ever centimeter that was lost between our bodies.

"I wish you would've come to me last night." he admitted in a low murmur.

"If only to sleep." he added. "I only guessed you couldn't sleep because you were lonely, I heard you pass my doorway - I don't want you to think - "

I cut him off by softly kissing his lips, he didn't need to apologize.

"You don't even have to explain, that's not what's bothering me." I sighed.

"Then what?" he asked, his eyebrows scrutinizing, hands soft and attentive on my face, through my hair. I shook my head, not even able to organize the words, to tell the truth I want even sure what was bothering me. I couldn't tell him anything if I didn't know what to tell.

"I just feel - I don't know what I feel." my hands lifting in the air and dropping just tired and exhausted, I needed coffee, hopefully that would set my mind straight, the bittersweet aroma filling the house.

"But thank you." My eyes moving up to his to see true concern, he really was worried and I wasn't really helping at all to silent those. The least I could do was thank him. He nodded - cupping my face, bringing his lips down to mine, soft, warm , attentive just like his hands this morning still groggy and calm from sleep, I was beginning to like morning Edward even though I seemed to be a pain in the ass in the morning someone frustrating and not easily dealt with. Our lips fell in sync, his drugging kisses only making me more sleepy, my eyes drooping closed.

His palms moved down to my neck and collarbone, I had to pull away for air, the reactions running through my body too intense, too much for my mind to take in all at one time. That's when he stopped - resting his forehead to mine, breath heavy and hot, contradicting to this cold room.

"Uncle Ned!"

With no care, fate helped Aidan find us of course, the little boy bouncing in the room of course, the little boy bouncing in the room to squeeze Edward's leg.

"Mornin'" he breathed with a bright smile facing up at us. He _was_ starting to grow on me. Edward kneeled down to match the same height.

"Never fail do you?" Edward stated to the toddler - looking up at me, his moss green eyes now shining in the morning sunrise beaming in from the windows. Content filled my muscles as I trailed my fingers amongst his back as I walked past, making my leave, but still please by the shiver that coursed through him and into my finger tips.

I allowed myself one last look at the exit, looking back to see the same green eyes following me, his gaze soft as Aidan described something in front of him - the last look I got before I left to go to the kitchen.

"Chocolate chip or Almond?"

"You know someone will be heartbroken if you don't make chocolate chip."

"Yes - I know, you think he'd get sick of them after a while."

"Not a chance."

I found Esme over the stove and Carlisle at the oak table with the signature paper in front and coffee mug in hand. Rosalie and Emmett were outside despite the cold, bundled in catch others arm taking some time to themselves.

"Don't trouble yourself, I'll get you what you want." Carlisle fussed, noticing where I was headed. He motioned for me to sit down, as he stood and made his way to the sacred coffee machine, god did I need a cup, apparently the hot drink was as cherished here as it was back home with Charlie and I.

"Cream?"

"Ah, yes, thank you."

Surprised as he got it all, laying a quick kiss to Esme's neck before making his way back to the kitchen table. The love was so prominent here, even if they had been married for some quite time, which surprised me, used to growing up around a divorced dad and a newly wed mom. They made it seem easy, to be married and live with the same person for this long. It made me think how my parents may have been if they stuck together, probably not as happy if they felt obligated.

"It seems everyone in this house isn't fully awake until they have a cup of this stuff." he handed me the mug, thinking that Edward got his chivalry from his dad. As if I were acting in a coffee commercial, I brought the mug up first to my nose to take in a deep breath of the bitter caffeine before gingerly taking a sip.

I sighed, so much better. Carlisle chuckling, his own cup in hand.

"Okay, the little guy's gotta stinky."

I tried to contain the huge smile as Esme and Carlisle both pointed to the porch, not even taking the second to look up form their tasks as Edward came in with Aidan in iris arms, both looking adorable.

"Pancakes!" he yelled, looking over at Esme. "Pancakes!" he said again, hitting Edward's shoulder when he realized Edward was walking away from his desired location.

"Hey there little man, you know what I said about hitting." Emmett stated, walking in with Rosalie behind, his face for once serious and stern. Aidan pouted as Rosalie took in the other room wailing once she told him time out. Edward scratched the back of his head.

"I'm glad I didn't have to survive you guys growing up."

Emmett punching him in the same shoulder but then being smacked in the head by Rosalie.

"And you wonder where he gets it!" she scolded.

"Ow, Rose." he pouted, rubbing the back of his head - I had to laugh that time, the same pout I had seen on Aidan moments later.

Rosalie smirked in my direction but I got up to run once I saw Emmett stalking in my direction, arms stretched, claiming he wanted to envelope me in one of his 'bear hugs'.

"Hey Em - your messing with two people here if you gonna mess with her." Edward stepping into my rescue. I squeaked as Emmett lunged grabbing Edward into a headlock.

"Oh yeah, you guys are real mature." Rosalie rolling her eyes as she sipped at her orange juice. I tired to stifle the giggle as Emmett ruffled Edwards' hair, not letting up on the headlock. But then Edward elbowed him in the gut achieving the few second he needed to break free. This was a completely different Edward then the one I knew. The one I knew didn't carry stinky toddlers around, listen to Hard Rock and wrestled with his older supposedly 'grown up' brother.

"Okay, that's enough!" Esme glided over to smack both their heads with a spatula.

"Both you body know to _never_ rough house in my kitchen, now you better eat breakfast before your father finished it all off."

We all looked over to see Carlisle stuffing his mouth with the new batch of chocolate chip pancakes. No wonder he had been so quite…

Emmett strutted over to the table forgetting the pervious ordeal completely, stacking six pancakes on his plate along with gobs of butter and syrup. Rosalie gagging mockingly at her husbands eating habits.

"Whatever Rose. I don't want to hear nay of it before I pass on the time you at all the portions of a small army when you had Aidan." Emmett mumbled obnoxiously through a mouthful of pancakes, but that was a bad move. Rosalie grabbed the spatula from Esme, and stalked over, I closed my eyes getting ready for the hit, but nothing came.

I opened one eye, slowly, and then the other.

They were kissing!

Now I'm pretty sure we were all confused, Emmett conclude.

"What?" he breathed, pulling away but then a smile broke out through the short pause. Seeming to have an unspoken conversation with their eyes. His chest heaved with a billow of laughter.

"No."

Rosalie nodded her head, her eyes wet.

"I was going to wait and tell everybody on Christmas, but - " She was cut off as Emmett jumped up, spinning Rosalie around in the kitchen as they both continued to laugh, Carlisle congratulated them, Esme - teary eyed that she was going to another 'Auntie Em' pushed Emmett aside quite comically to envelope Rosalie in a hug.

And I -

For the second time in the same morning I felt the need to flee, as if I were intruding in a moment such as this. Yes, of course I was happy for them, but I didn't belong, the grandparents, the parents, and then Edward, the uncle and then, there was me, not ties whatsoever.

I escaped, like the coward I was fleeing down the hallway and down more corridor, reaching a drawing room, I could only guess in the back of the house, a drawing room.

I didn't fit.

I pulled the ends of my hair, I was a hundred miles away of where I was suppose to be, I was in over my head, and like the ignorant girl I was, I thought this all would work.

I was wrong again.

What a surprise.

* * *

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	16. Chapter 16

_**Well, I finally updated! **_

_**I now posted outfits to go along with the chapters onto my profile, so go and check those out of you want. And, I hope all of you like this one. I actually looked, and I haven't updated since October, I'm sorry. I didn't realized how long time had passed.**_

_**I was just found in a Jacob situation, with a love triangle, which sux ass, hard. Ladies, the media always plays the guy as leaving the nice sensible woman for someone slutty, they're not playing, it happens, they go and pick someone who's cup size matches their GPA. No intelligence there, the lights are on, but no ones home. **_

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* * *

_**No one came for me, and through out the whole time I decided to stay in this twenties era room, I couldn't help but think whether I wanted anyone to or not. Otherwise, I wanted to stay here left alone, in my greasy hair, and bathrobe. During sometime I must've fell asleep on one of the silk and vinyl couches, because when I woke up, I was in the huge gigantic bed, being swallowed whole by the sheets and downed duvet like the night before.

"Do you not like it here?"

I jumped by the voice - my heart stopping, my eyes wandered to one of the couches by the fireplace, the mantle glowing orange with a newly made fire that I had been too afraid to attempt to build the night before, but the room was dark itself, was it night? Already? Again?

I began to panic - his parents must think the worst of me - just leaving like that.

"Stomach Flu" he stated, standing up and making his way to my bed. Obviously having a shower and changing during the day, something I had not even done yet. He must've already noticed the level of distress on my face.

"I told them you weren't feeling well - it was a task to find you - by the way." he mused.

"You're mad." I stated quietly, skeptical that he wouldn't be, but he shook his head, sitting at the edge of the bed. Then my mind drifted to Edward, Edward in my bedroom, Edward sitting on my bed. Making me hope the lighting was dark enough to hide my ever intensifying blush at my thoughts.

"I'd just like to know what had had you so troubled all day and all night." he added, concerned and curious.

I shook my head quickly, "No, no, nothing, just nerves is all." I could tell by the look he gave me that I wasn't that all convincing. His eyes grew very distant, his face sullen.

"Do you wish to leave?" his voice was very quite as he asked this, convinced that this is what I wanted, to leave this, to leave him.

"Do you wish for me to leave?" I asked him in return, timid and unsure, damnit, it was about time I grew some backbone, the man parts, or figurative balls if you will, to talk to him, to do this, and be a confident willing contributor to this whole relationship. But I couldn't stop that little voice in my head, was he ashamed of myself? Embarrassed? Maybe he was regretting ever brining me here. I ring my hands in my lap but he quickly answered before I could conjure anything else.

"No! Of course not, no I don't. I just thought -" both his hands encompassed one of my own, engulfing in size difference. His own warmth grounding me, he continued.

"I don't know what I thought." he finished with a sigh, light fingers trailing over my knuckles. Hypnotic in their consistency. His forehead was now smooth, clear of worry, a very tender expression taking over his entire face, silencing my thoughts and my words completely from any conversation imaginable.

"Please stay, here with me." he murmured, now squeezing both my hands together in his cradling hold.

We both started as a knock sounded on the other side of the door across the room, Edward reluctantly released my hands from his grasp, breaking the bubble and connection we had slowly drifted down into. Esme came in as he had gotten up to open the door, a tray of food in her hands. My heart squeezed at her thoughtfulness and humility. I could be screwing her son just for the better grade on my term paper for all she knew. I inwardly winced at the thought, it had been done before, just not by me, and most certainly not by him. She settled down next to me, setting the tray down on the night stand beside me, a motherly hand coming down to rest on my forehead, searching for a trace of fever.

"I hope you're feeling better dear." she cooed, releasing her hand from atop my head gingerly as if I were a porcelain doll, subject to break at anytime.

"Better now - I think." I breathed, no were close to knowing how I really felt at this point. A slight shiver running down my spine, signaling that Edward's eyes were upon me. I was proven correct as my head rose, seeing that Edward had backed up to the couches encircling the fireplace, hands jammed in the front pockets of his slacks. Esme patted my hand, bringing my attention back to her,

"Wonderful - now I don't want you to stress yourself, get some more rest and you should feel much better by morning." her mom skills kicking in once again. I nodded and she smiled once again. I was more surprised when she even bent down to settle a kiss on my forehead before getting up to leave. Edward silently coming back to my side, some what timid, I had to think.

"I should probably go too - let you get some sleep." he stated somewhat awkwardly.

"I'm not really sick remember?" I had to rewind back.

"Yes, I know." he sighed, running an unsure hand through his hair.

He made himself look too out of place here, like he shouldn't be here and I hated that, so I decided to grab his wrists and tug him forward, stepping up with some courage for once. My pulls brought him down to take a seat on the side of the bed, closer to me this time. Edward looked almost nervous, skittish swallowing hard before he brought my hand up to his lips, his eye meeting mine and staying there, the same tension burning between us that seemed to always be there.

"I'm not a mind reader, you need to tell me when something is troubling you." he breathed against the skin of my hand, his eyes boring into mine, as if he truly were trying to see my thoughts, making me feeling completely exposed in the most intimate way. I nodded, dazed.

"Anything happen while I was incapacitated?" I succeeded in making him chuckle, a beautiful smile stretching his lips, but still not reaching his eyes, I sighed at this.

"Rosalie went shopping, Carlisle went to work which is expected from each." he playfully rolled his eyes at this.

"Even during the holidays?"

Edward smiled, nodding, brushing his thumb continuously over my knuckles, absentmindedly almost, his hand warm and just natural, resting in my own.

"Emmett took Aidan ATVing and Esme stayed in."

"ATVing? And Aidan's old enough for that?" I asked dreadfully, imaging the little toddler resting in front of Emmett, just thinking about him flying off and hitting the dirt. But Edward just nodded - suddenly becoming wistful,

"There's this trail by La Push, made for that, and dirt bikes, a lot of motocross go down there to just run their bikes there, maybe we'll go sometime." he practically insisted.

"Do you miss it here?" I wondered, noting his distancing eyes. He sure sounded like it, but I could see how this place could grow on you, as much as the growth grew on the trees and landscape itself. The quiet malice of the constant rain, or snow, the green, the never-ending cloud cover, as if it were a dome, closing you in on the world with your own thoughts. Leaving everything in peace, left alone to grow and live in which ever way.

Solemn.

Allowing someone to just slow down and think.

"I'm not sure yet, I haven't been gone long enough to think, really, to really miss this, just my family , or just the fact I've lived here long to want to leave and see other places." Then I back pedaled, remembering what Alice told me, what she had heard.

"I heard you were British?"

A small smile formed, turning his head to the side to look out the French door windows, the snow had let up but the clouds still covered the moons beam.

"My grandparents are, that's where I… graduated from." he breathed.

My eyebrows flared, "So if your families originally from -" motioning around the room.

"Oh no, this was Esme's old family home, its about a century old, roughly, and when I say old, I mean old. When her parents passed, both Carlisle and Esme decided to move back after they had met and married in London."

"So this is were you grew up," I clarified.

"Yep," he agree, popping the "P".

"Sometimes we would spend our summer in England, when I was little, so, I guess if the rumors go around that I may have a slight British accent - I got it from the times we went then, personally I really don't think I have one." he shrugged.

"Only sometimes - it depends on what you say." I added.

"Esme used to tease me - that if I ever were to get angry, sometimes it would come out rather strong." I laughed then.

"What?" he asked, smiling to himself as I laughed, he did it again.

"I could hear it then." I chuckled.

"Why do I get the feeling _you're_ teasing me?" he questioned playfully, his eyes gleaming this time, turning into slits.

"I don't know, maybe, because I kinda, sort of, maybe, am?" My head raising in challenge, his lips zeroing in on mine.

"And what if I were to say that, that kinda, sort of, maybe, teasing is hurting my masculinity?" he smirked, inches, inches.

"Then I'll just kiss it better." My hand lifted up and snaked to the back of his neck, bringing his head down to the right level for my lips to meet his. He wasn't the least bit objective about my actions apparently by his vigor, which I wasn't complaining in the slightest. In fact, he was advancing faster then I. Maybe I should hurt his masculinity more often.

His lips were soft and warm and just so smooth, he must acutely use Vaseline for the assigned purpose, a rarity in most men. I mused. Oh, his lips, comforting, and perfect and just so intoxicating. Before I knew it, his body was descending upon my own, still under the covers, the damn over puffed and stuffed comforter a barrier between our bodies. His fingers raked and smooth and tugged at my hair, twirling some pieces between his fingers, a groan escaping his lips as he did so, something so sexy that just drove me wild.

It would be an extremely exaggerated understatement to say we were just a little over eager.

But it had been so long since we have actually kissed, or made out like teenagers, the platonic ones we had been sharing in front of his family not evening pushing the envelope. An embarrassingly loud whimper escaped as he began to pull away, but that complaint immediately silenced itself as he got up and began to unbutton his shirt, peeling it away to reveal, tight abs, complementing biceps, broad shoulders, jutting hip bones and thin hips, the classic build of a man who worked out regularly, and perhaps stayed religious to swimming a couple laps in the pool. He had a swimmers build more then anything, lean muscle, triangle form, streamline frame.

I would be lying to myself and everyone else if I didn't say that I was enjoying the eyeful and fantastic view, the amusement in Edward's gleaming eyes obviously told me he was well aware of that fact.

He kept my stare, his gaze strong and intense, his body bending at the waist as he undid his shoes, pulling of his socks. Now if only he would turn the _other_ way, then I would be able to get a whole figurative hand full of that delectable ass. Edward stood erect and I was suddenly terrified by his dark, jade eyes. I had no clue what I was doing these days, nothing was certain, he slowly made his way to the other side of the bed but I heard metal clang and clink together as he undid his belt oh - my. His pants falling to the floor with a flourish.

And - then…he lifted the covers, his own body heat joining mine, warding off the cold in the room, the unspeakable cold, so cold it made me shiver, so cold I could feel down into my bones, surpassing the barrier of my skin. I really should stop rambling.

And then, he was lying right next to me, half naked, his breathing heavy and shallow, his eyes lidded, beautiful and green, his hair tousled, bronze, red, brown, messy from my merciless pulling and tugging from my all too eager and drugged filled fingers. I bid myself to relax, and his lips parted as if he wanted to say something, those, swollen, red, pouty lips…I forced myself to focus.

"I - I'm not sure - " it took me a minute to figure out what he was saying, when I did, I simply grabbed his arm - pulling more myself then him into each other, in the middle. My body instantly curling into his side, his skin smooth and soft and taunt with clenching muscle and just so humanly warm, and this room and bed suddenly weren't so bad anymore. I sighed into his skin, his face buried in my hair and I knew this was the best idea I've had yet. I was so glad this wasn't awkward and uncomfortable, it felt normal, it was relaxed, it felt right, and I have never wanted to cuddle up against someone so much as Edward. Who wouldn't?

We didn't say anything else, our quiet breathing filled the room and he bid me goodnight with a kiss to my temple, all I needed to drift off to sleep. Even though I had basically just slept for the last eleven hours I still felt so tired and groggy.

----

I had only slept the first few hours, waking up on the most comfortable pillow in the entire world. I gazed from his chest up to this face to see a perfect, peaceful mask. Even if I wanted to move, it would've been difficult with both his arms wrapped securely around my waist and back.

I smoothed my calf alongst his thigh, reveling in the tone of muscle built even there.

He wore silk boxers.

I smiled at this, I wasn't surprised, surprisingly.

I held my breath and froze as he stirred, not wanting to wake him up, it was only three in the morning, obviously too early to be up and about, for normal people anyway - not including me. I would think it would be awkward and weird to sleep with him like this, something innocent such as this, but it only felt wonderful. I rested my cheek back against his chest.

----

The gray dim of light shined through my window, an interruption, but a pleasant one. I was eager for the day to start, so I could show Edward's family that I wasn't some anti-social recluse weirdo who just didn't like to speak to them. I rolled over in the sheets, stretching the taunt muscles in my back and shoulders. Sighing as the action pumped up my heart rate, my head feeling light as fresh blood coursed faster through my veins, smoother. I settled back in my pillow, groaning at how my hair must look, a shower was definitely in order. I rolled over once more, shivering at the cold spot…

I shot up, taking in the empty side of the bed that should be filled with the warm, insanely hot bod of none other then Edward Cullen.

Had I dreamt it? Or did it really happen?

I ran through last night, questioning my mental capacity and physiological well-being, trying to make sure I just didn't conjure up this whole fantasy to make myself feel better. Maybe multiple personality disorder? No, no, not that.

Edward taking off his clothes, gloriously stripping, his warmth around me, adorably light little snores. I'm pretty sure that happened.

He had left me then.

I slumped back burying my face in the pillows, maybe I should just go back to bed, I groaned. My rare good mood now shot straight down the highway to hell.

Damn. Mother. Shit.

Maybe it was just me.

I had some gene that just repelled the opposite sex, failing to get me any at all. A mutation, yeah, that's it. If only Xavier's school for the gifted really did exist. I snorted. I threw the covers off me, just wanting to get out of this god forsaken too comfy bed, too puffy, fluffy and stuffed for its own good. It was just too fat, sorry bed, I'll get you some slim fast for goose feathers.

Now I was talking to inanimate objects, schizophrenia? No, no that's not right, I was probably the most commonly found of psycho there is.

But when I opened the door to the bedroom, I was met with Rosalie, staring me down. I squealed quite unattractively, my heart stopping almost completely, wanting to implode right in my ribcage. Before I knew what was even going on, I was pulled into a different room down the hall.

Um, wtf?

I looked around, confused, this room was a lot more contemporary but yet homier in some odd way. It had more reds and blues with yellows, the furniture more modern, and the bed didn't look so obese. It had the same windows on the same wall facing the east, snow falling steadily outside now. I heard the closing of the door behind me and turned around, wondering why Edward's sister-in-law was basically adult-napping me. Ha, whatever, I'm no adult.

Rosalie came back then, after closing the door to avoid intruders and pulling the blinds closed to ward off the offending early sun. Even at eight o'clock her hair was perfectly dry and waved, wearing clothes I would never be seen in. I always stuck with comfort, especially at this time in the morning. If I ever _did_ wear anything nice, it was because Alice strapped me down and dressed me in her clothes if she caught my departure for class in the mornings.

"I saw that Edward stayed with you last night." she sighed, inspecting an already perfectly manicured nail.

My face paled,

"Ah - well - yeah, but we didn't do - I mean, I -"

Rosalie cut me off by one look, shaking her blinding blonde hair behind one shoulder.

"I'm sure Edward would be in a much better mood this morning if that were the case." she stated, smug.

All blood that had left my face a minute ago now filled right back up, I'm sure I was going to have an intracranial hemorrhage sometime soon.

Great - and she had locked the door, how did I always find myself in these kind of situations? That required precise, quick, agile and clever thinking, impossible speed and strong actions that only a highly trained and skilled specialist could take on? You tell me.

Her stare was firm and calculating, sizing me up.

I took in a deep breath, in my baby blue flannel pants and matching tank, my hair may look like a haystack and be ten times more knotted then one, but perhaps I could take on my boyfriends sister-in-law.

I hope.

I braced myself for the interrogation I was positive that was going to entail.

Bring on the looney-bin.

* * *

_**230-260**_

_**You got it.**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Hey everybody, must be a record for me, great on reviews, I'm glad to answer any questions if you have any.**_

_**I posted so early because 2 reasons:**_

_**A) Exams are coming up next week, so I'll probably update at end of May, maybe a week earlier then that.**_

_**B) I think you guys deserve an update from me since I've been so horrible with uploading chapters. **_

_**Enjoy. **_

_***Clothes already posted on my profile, check 'em out if you so choose.  
**_

* * *

In High school, I had always been the loner, the girl who grew into puberty awkwardly and slowly, the late bloomer and after that - the wallflower. Of course I coped and didn't mind being alone with my thoughts, but once I had graduated High school and met Alice, my loner streak ended, with the addition of one more person at least.

Fortunately, I may have gained one friend, but I was pretty sure I remained awkward with low self-esteem. Around Edward anyway - I couldn't seem to really get half an intelligent sentence out with him.

And as for Rosalie, my self-esteem issues pretty much floated around the negatives.

Especially now.

Her vibrant, light blue eyes wandered up and down, her expression, calculating, scrutinizing, and a lot of appraising in there as well.

This only fueled my confusion as I stood there awkwardly with no bra on, snarls in my hair, an oily face, wrinkles in my clothes and morning breath.

I must look fantastic. I snorted.

"Come here," she beckoned with one manicured baby soft, freshly lotioned, and perfectly smooth finger.

I took one attentive step forward, unsure of what she wanted with me. I suddenly felt scared by this intimating, beautiful woman in front of me, with no doubt had already made it through College, earned a degree, got married and already had a kid with no effects whatsoever of post birth fat _and_ she was pregnant with another. An already established woman with a pretty well set life, you could say I felt a little small in her presence.

The details made my mind whirl.

The future now seemed such an impossible feat.

My face flushed as her form circled mine, her eyes darting this way and that, her dark and long mascara coated eyelashes brushed against her cheeks as her eyes followed each direction.

"Definitely curls, make-up, no blush, obviously, you have plenty of that. Hmm, you probably want to be warm, a nice sweater? I'll see what color I can find for you, and slacks, with heels?" she rambled on, and that's when I finally made it up to speed, she was going to play Alice? How odd.

Jesus, and I thought I escaped her! No offense to my best-friend, but I needed a brake from her playing personal shopper, myself, being her own Barbie. But I wasn't the Barbie here - Rosalie seemed more like her, all perfect curves and cornflake hair. I was more like…Kristy, the dull brunette who didn't get Ken. The doll no little girl wanted to buy.

Yeah, Kristy seemed more like me, I knew how she felt, believe me.

"…or flats, whichever, I think we'll just stay with peaches and browns, it is winter but you have natural beauty anyway so we won't go crazy with the make-up…" was that suppose to be reassuring?

My ears were now screaming with me.

Beauty?

Naturally plain yes. I'll go along with that, but I wouldn't go out of my way to pronounce the "B" word. Please.

Next thing I knew, all sorts of hair care products were being shoved into my hands, I looked back up at Rosalie curiously.

"What - are these for?" I asked. She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Please prove to me you're smarter then that blonde bimbo he used to date? Okay? All I'm trying to do is give Edward a shove in the right direction, preferably yours. You can thank me later." I was shocked to say the least, she wanted to help me? Or I guess, essentially Edward. But in helping him she would kind of be helping me, so in a way she…wanted to help me as well, altogether. Wow, shocking, I hadn't expected this when I woke up this morning.

"Blonde Bimbo?"

This just caused her to roll her eyes once again, a breath of air escaping her perfectly self shaded lips in a sigh.

"My brother-in-law has poor choices in dates and that's keeping it light, which is something I normally don't do." she seemed to warn me. I nodded obediently.

"Now, take these things I gave you and shower, wash, rinse, scrub, lather, repeat, and all the other shit you do to get clean, squeaky clean. I want you out here in fifteen minutes. Go." I jumped at the last, her hands pushing me in the direction of her bathroom.

"Well, it doesn't take me that long -"

"Go!" she repeated and I scurried off without complaint, afraid to make her angry.

The next eleven minutes I spent my time making sure I completed all the tasks, afraid of her wraith if I did otherwise. I showered, letting all the water cascade down the sore muscles, washing away all the dirt and oils I'm sure had built up since the absence of washing. I washed my hair, lathering in the sweet smelling shampoo she had shoved in my hands, freesias, ginger root, with a hint of strawberries, a little odd, but it felt amazing.

I scrubbed my legs, arms, cleaned with a loofa she had provided and made sure to be clean. I rinsed everything off, and hopefully could get away without repeating, that just took too much time and I felt better already, having cleaned and scrubbed just about every surface of my body.

I was squeaky clean and I made it out of the shower in thirteen minutes.

The hot water had released any tension and stress in my muscles, almost making me believe I could take on anything Rosalie could dish out.

Almost, but not quite.

In the two point three seconds that I had stepped out of the shower, I squeaked as Rosalie yanked off my towel and expertly slipped on a comfy robe, tying on the sash. I had to admit, even though my personal bubble had just been violently invaded, it was nice, soft and definitely warm.

"Oh shush, everything you have I have more, and I mean that in a nice way." she smirked, rolling her eyes at me.

Perhaps there was still hope with Rosalie, getting on her good side.

"And it's Rose." her tone implied no exceptions, I nodded. Catching on, you didn't disobey Rosalie, you just didn't if you cared for you own welfare. We both stepped out of the bathroom, Rose instructing me to towel off my still dripping hair.

That's when Emmett busted in, Aidan by his side, sucking on his thumb, 'blanky' hugged in his other arm. Both of their eyes were drooped, probably still half asleep, Aidan clad in his flannel dinosaur jamies, and Emmett only sporting some boxer briefs. I tried to pre-occupy myself by looking somewhere else to hide the flush in my face, not use to seeing half naked men after all.

"Em." she scolded giving him the stink eye.

If looks could kill…

He groaned then, noticing I was in the room, interrupting his possible sleep time.

"Hey Bells." he yawned, startling me by the nickname he said so causally.

"Belle!"

I waved at both, but Emmett trudged in despite Rose's angry stares, her eyes darting down to Aidan who timidly walked up to her. He knew not to get on her bad side either. I smiled.

I couldn't help but laugh as Emmett completely collapsed on top of their bed, moaning as he flipped the covers over himself. Proving further that he was in fact, not a morning person.

Odd - you think he would be, because when he was up…

"Rose - why are you up at the Goddamn crack of dawn." he groaned his voice muffled by a pillow.

Rosalie's face only grew red.

She strode over, and flung the covers off him, "So help me Emmett Cullen, what have I said about swearing?!"

Aidan tugged on my leg groggily, unaware of the whole scene. I smiled and picked him up.

"Mommy's mad." he whispered, giggling as he buried his sleepy face in my neck. I looked back at he two, Rose completely massacring the bed with him on it, getting ready to flip the mattress over. Was that even possible with him on it?

"Maybe I should…"

"No! Bella you're staying _right _where you are." she threatened and of course I wouldn't argue.

"You worthless oaf!"

Aidan and I giggled as Rosalie shoved the pillow on atop his head before quickly sitting on it.

"Jesus Christ Rose! You have to be so abusive!?" squirming under her.

"Do you have to be such a pain in my ass!?" I had covered Aidan's ears by this point, listening to them badger each other back and forth. He was just too cute and innocent to be subjected to this I mused. In the end Rose had won of course, succeeding in getting Emmett up, dressed and gone to go feed Aidan breakfast, parting with a kiss that had softened Rose right up, he knew how to deal with her as well.

No one wanted to stand up against her, even Emmet lost. Considering how big and burly he was, but completely harmless I realized.

"That wasn't so hard." I commented, remember his sleepy barely awake face.

"I make it look easy, plus, he know I'll put him in the dog house." she smirked mischievously, walking over to one of the six suitcases she had opened, she didn't pack light either, good thing Emmett seemed strong.

"Now back to the task at hand…before we had that brick-head interrupt us." she scolded half-heartedly. Rosalie bent down and after some minutes of rummaging through the extensive pile of clothes, she pulled out a grayish blue cardigan.

Beautiful color. I mused.

Rose turned around, cradling the fabric in one hand, while tugging some shoes out through another suitcase.

"How long do you guys plan on staying?" I wondered, taking in all the clothes she packed. I didn't even see any of Emmett's clothing in there.

"Oh, a few weeks, I always pack more then needed, I'm never sure what mood I'm going to be in, and in a while I wont be able to wear these." she sighed, but I saw the spark of wistful longing in her eyes.

"I don't think I ever congratulated you." I commented, shying away from her happiness, if only to find some for myself.

My mind drifted back to Edward, was he still sleeping?

I shook my head - he seemed like the kind of person who would be an early riser. The one who got up early to brew the coffee, and drink OJ, welcoming the awakening dawn light. Orange and yellow, young at the beginning of the day. I sighed wistfully, trying to push myself into that setting, imagining me walking into that sunny, open kitchen, to be greeted by Edward. His hair tousled, and eyes still dreamy from sleep, eyelids drooping over bright emerald. Only to be pulled in his arms where I had been moments earlier in bed.

"Bella?" I snapped out of my dream by Rose pulling me over to a vanity in the bathroom, her fingers combing through my hair before she grabbed a brush.

"Now curls, make-up, clothes, and we are off, but not before we run into Edward on the way out of course." she planned with an evil and mischievous glint in her eyes I could make out through her reflection in the mirror.

"Where are you head off to?" I asked, confused as she continued to comb out the damp tangles and snarls, locating the hair drier as she successfully multi-tasked.

"We - I am taking you shopping." she stated mater-of-factly, her tone demanding no argument, of course, with Alice, a protest would've already been out of my mouth by now.

But with Rosalie, I didn't dare.

"Are there places to shop?" tilting my head to the side as she plugged in the drier, I tried to think back when Edward and I had drove through Forks on our way here. I hadn't seen any places to go other then a super market and on Outfitters, and several antique shops. I seriously doubt Rose wanted to purchase hiking boots or oversized packs for camping.

"Not here, we're headed northwest to La Push, their mall is fairly decent." she commented with satisfaction. I nodded, our chatting drowned out by the noise of the hair dryer.

La Push it is.

Twenty minutes later, Rose had my hair curled and make-up done, she instructed me to put on the clothes provided before she left to see if Emmett had prepared something edible for Aidan. But not before commenting that we needed to add lingerie to the list. Taking in my un-matching Target and Kohl's bra and panties that I had gotten on sale. Of course my face heated to the color resembling a tomato as she mentioned this fact. God only knew why I would need sufficient underwear.

The cardigan was soft and very comfy. Confident it was warm enough for the weather, but still I threw on another sweater over that.

I felt a little over dressed when I slipped on the brown wool slacks and baby blue heels. I was starting to like Rose more, simply because of the fact she didn't go too drastic with the shoes, I actually liked these ones.

At least she let me go with my black wool coat, that would surely keep me warm enough, and a little in my comfort zone with the worn cuffs and sleeves. I sat on the bed, waiting for her to come back. But after a few minutes, I realized she must be waiting for me downstairs. So, I timidly stepped out the door, into the hallway, peeking both ways.

The coast was clear.

I slowly made it down the stairs, trying to make no noise with my shoes on the marble, that would completely give me away, and I was also trying to prevent my sudden, and I'm sure, painful death.

Then Rosalie's words rang through my ears and I heard movement.

_But not before we run into Edward on the way out. _

His bronze hair flashed out before he rounded the corner, walking in from the living room, probably headed for the kitchen, fresh coffee in the air.

I froze where I stood, hoping he wouldn't see me.

As if he could hear that said, his eyes shot up to my form on the stairs. His frame stiffened, his dark green eyes traveling down my length. Had I over done it? Had Rosalie put me in silly clothes to humiliate me? Were these okay?

I thought they were simple enough. But I seemed to think differently from a lot of people. He continued to say nothing and I could feel my hands wringing themselves in front of me as I bit my lip. Edward was still in his pajamas, his flannel pants with a worn wrinkled T-shirt, barefoot. Jesus, he probably looked better disheveled then I did right now, even if Rosalie took all her time primping me.

"Damn, I'm good." I was overly thankful to see Rose come in from the hallway.

My savior.

"Edward shut your mouth before Esme has to mop the floor."

He jumped by her voice, his smoldering eyes meeting mine, I felt my breath catch in my throat, other women got that look by other men - not me, or at least I think that was _this_ look, it was completely primal and possessive.

My face flushed then and I quickly continued my descend trying not to trip on these shoes and kill myself. Dieing was the last thing I wanted to do if he was going to look at me that way. A speck of confidence and control swelled up and in my throat. No words had left his mouth yet. But as I came into range his fingers buried themselves in the curls of my hair, only making it look thicker, whatever Rose had done to it.

"I'm beginning to grow a fondness for my sister-in-law." he murmured, burying his nose within the locks as well.

I realized Rosalie had left us a long time ago.

"You like it?" hoping I got the reaction intended for all this. Before we left for the mall.

But I remember the emptiness and crisp cold sheets I had found earlier this morning when I woke up, new questions bubbling to the surface.

"I love it." he whispered, laying kisses along the skin behind my ear, making me shiver. The fresh sharp stubble of his chin and jaw deliciously scratching against my cheek.

"Mmm, honey suckle is it? And cinnamon?"

I giggled as he continued to sniff my hair, my face burning with his praise and obvious affection. I should have never questioned Rose, she was un-paralleled genius. I remembered the gentle and relaxed drowsiness he seemed to carry with him in the morning as he continued to rest his left hand lazily in my hair, the other wrapping around the side my waist to bring me closer.

I thought about bringing up earlier but I couldn't bring myself to take away this, just standing here with him, one of the most simplest things, the ones I wanted to keep intact most.

It was too comfortable and right to question.

"And where are you going? All gussied up?" he inquired softly, my limbs being dipped in warm water by his crisp clean eyes, shocking the nerves all the way down to the tips of my toes until coming back up to pool in my gut, snuggling into my stomach.

"Um…" I had to collect my bearings.

"Rosalie's dragging me shopping." I sighed, relaxing as his arms lazily snaked around my waist and back, anchoring me against him.

"Maybe I could make it more interesting." he breathed, ducking his head to capture my lips. He must've caught onto the uninterested tone I had used referring to shopping in such a way. My eyes fluttered closed as he continued to distract me with the gently, lulling pull of his lips, taking my bottom lip into his mouth, tugging. His breath leaving his nose in gentle breaths, blowing across my cheeks and chin. His tongue tasting of an early cup of bitter hot coffee, and slight hints of toothpaste.

Delicious.

His kisses only became longer and deeper. I mused that I had read once that men's testosterone levels were higher in the morning. I snorted.

"What?" he mumbled against my mouth, a soft smile forming on his lips, despite his confusion.

"Nothing." I chuckled, suddenly feeling a happiness well in my chest.

I was here. With him. How could I not feel this way?

"Do I smell coffee?" I asked as he had pulled his head away, changing the subject. I wasn't going to tell him he was more likely to jump me in the morning then any other time of day.

Talk about my face turning into a tomato.

"I cant imagine coffee making someone blush." he mused with a smirk, pressing a kiss under my jaw, causing my breath to catch as his mouth suckled the sensitive, delicate skin there.

_Oh - that mouth._

"Oh. This is a surprise. Are you sure I didn't switch my reading glasses with yours again. Carlisle?" a amused voice sounded behind us.

I squeezed my eyes closed.

Oh God.

These people must _love _me.

I turned around to smile sheepishly.

"Good morning Esme."

Stick a fork in me someone. I'm surely finished.

* * *

**_Any guy troubles Ladies? Care to share anonymously? I can do that. Believe me, I can relate:  
_**

**_A) P.M.S. _**

**_Pissy-Man-Syndrome. Tell me if you're a victim or not._**

**_They think WE have a problem._**

**_B) Bi-polar _**

**_They're mood swings are worse, at least we go by a calender._**

**_C) Hot & Cold _**

**_One day he wants to talk and flirt, the next you have the danger of hypothermia by his cold shoulder._**

**_D) He's just completely perfect in every way, no problems._**

**_If any of you choose this, I'm green with envy._**

**_E) You're married and don't have to worry with these problems._**

**_Even if you have that gold band on your ring, I have a feeling you still do._**

**_There's just the bigger chance of him being forgiven at the end of the Day. _; ] **

**

* * *

**

_**ALL I NEED IS A LETTER. **_


	18. Chapter 18

**Golly did I need to update.**

**Hopefully You guys like it.**

**I was going to post a smut filled BDSM fic based on Anne Rice's Trilogy Sleeping Beauty I even had the 1st 2 out of 3 chapters done until I go on here to post the 1st I notice the bottom of the Terms of Service and read a list of Authors who request not to have any fanfiction written on their stories. I completely respect that of course, just disappointing to notice that Anne Rice's name was on that list. No wonder no one has done any fic on her. I still want to post the short story for you guys though, so I'll just run that baby through major editing and have it on here, I can guarantee you all will enjoy. ; ]**

**Anyway I hope I made the ones still with me happy by adding this chapter, I hope to be good and add the next one in no time, in fact, I'll start typing it right now.**

**You can find the clothes to this chapter on my profile as usual.  
**

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The car erupted with laughter.

"Jesus Christ Bella! When I helped you I didn't nearly imagine you and Edward would start sucking face in the foyer!" Rose giggled, "That sounds like something Em and I would do!" she added.

"Poor Aidan," I muttered feeling humiliated and embarrassed.

"No, we actually make sure no one interrupts us," Rosalie informed, as if that were some sort of accomplishment.

"Good to know," I sighed.

"I think it's safe to say my job was well done." She smiled in success.

Yeah, in helping embarrass myself more in front of Edward's parents.

"Rose! That was so horrible!" I exclaimed.

Yeah, Esme and Carlisle had had their laughs and went off to make waffles. But I couldn't imagine what they must've been thinking of me when they saw Edward and me exchanging saliva and sucking face in the foyer!

She scoffed,

"I wouldn't worry, if anything Esme will probably ask you how good a kisser her son is and Carlisle will probably congratulate you on brining out that side of him."

"Why would any parent want to see that?" I asked in disgust trying to look at it from their point of view.

"The only other person who did was an absolute slut though everyone was too stupid to realize it." I was surprised by Rosalie's bluntness, her tone sour and biting.

"Bella I don't mean anything provocative when I say 'that side' what I mean is that he's with someone he wants to be with and who he is with is obviously making him happy. He's not so reserved for once," she sighed, looking out her side window as miles of road and trees passed us by.

"Just able to have romantic feelings for another person, sure, he's had a good number of flings…" I winced as she mentioned this. "…but they didn't mean anything from what I gathered."

"Except one," I guessed, thinking of the blonde's picture.

"Except one," she agreed, but her voice stated she didn't want to explain, nor did she want to continue on the subject further. Rosalie had been a part of it somehow; I just had to wait to find out.

"I love that dress on you."

My cheeks warmed at the sentiment, even Rosalie's comments could make my cheeks burn. I hated compliments, they always made me feel uncomfortable and awkward, the only response there is to say to something like that is 'thank you' and I always felt like that wasn't enough.

"I don't know," I sighed, turning this way and that, the price was something to consider. The material was comfy and warm clinging to my form like a second skin, which was debatable, not something I would pick. The length only came down to mid-thigh, maybe higher, definitely when I sat down.

Of course Rosalie had spotted it, urging me to try it on first thing as we studied it in the display. The snug material only made me feel naked as if everyone could see _me._ Rose's response was to think that Edward wouldn't mind much for his viewing; everyone else's eyes though, were to be put into consideration.

I tried to sneak another peak at the price tag but Rose would have none of that.

"Ah – ah, my treat."

"No – "I instantly started to protest until she cut me off with one of her looks.

"Yes." She shot back and that's all there was to it, my insides spiking with fear by her intense stare.

Jesus, she was intimidating.

But terror gripped me when she had decided on a rather semi-formal dress herself.

"Rose?" I asked, the wheels turning and clattering in my head.

_Esme and Carlisle love to entertain, so this room comes in handy if you can imagine._

Edward's velvet voice swimming in my ears.

Oh no.

All the blood drained from my face.

The mall.

My dress.

The festive colors.

Their ballroom.

Christmas coming up in three days.

What was the date today? Twenty-second?

I felt faint.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

"Bella? You okay? Your face is usually red, not white."

I snorted, yeah.

"Rose," I started in a whisper coming to halt in the middle of the mall.

"What are the dresses for?"

"You mean Edward didn't tell you? Carlisle and Esme always host an annual Christmas party and dinner," she must've caught on.

"You mean that prick failed to mention it? I'm going to ring his neck, especially if I knew you were going to hyperventilate by the news alone," she huffed, setting us down on a bench.

"And I've been trying to get him laid – the clueless fuck." She sighed, handing me a bottle of water from her purse.

I took 3 long swigs trying to calm down.

I'll be introduced as be with Edward.

Hundreds of people.

Surely the secret of me being his student won't last long, I mean his family knew, certainly it would leak. Secret's never stayed secret for long.

Edward would be ruined.

"Woah – woah okay Bella, breathe," she cursed as my breathing sped up.

"No, I'm just-"

"-having a mental breakdown," she finished, I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks Rose," I stated dryly.

"No problema."

Rosalie stood up and pulled me with her, continuing to walk.

"Next on our list," she stopped in front of Victoria's Secret.

The back of my ears burned.

"No, really – "

"Bella, if you want to get off, you will follow me into this store, personally I prefer 'Bittersweet Butterfly' back in LA, but this will have to do."

"I –"I stuttered as she dragged me in – I always just stuck with Target.

And their 100% cotton on-sale sets.

600 dollars later…

"Bella – I'm very pleased you went with black and white, we'll stick with neutral colors for now, basic, you can go crazy later."

I glanced down in my bag to find garters, pantyhose, thongs, cheekies and a couple-of what I considered- industrial push – up bras.

"Cheekies?" I couldn't help but giggle at the name. I was still skeptical about thongs.

Rosalie winked, "My personal favorite, but guys always have different tastes, but who knows, brothers share genes maybe they share same passing fancies." Shrugging, my neck caught fire by this.

"Um, Rose I appreciate it, but – "

"But what? Every girl deserves to be worshipped and don't for a second think that you are not one of them, come one, we all get a little time of indulgent once in a while."

I don't know why, but I got the feeling after that, that I struck a nerve.

I knew when to shut up.

"How about lunch?"

Rosalie nodded, silently heading to the food court.

"Are you finished?" I nodded weakly as rose took the rest of my fires, watching as she continued to eat her own.

"How far along are you?" I wondered, it seemed too early to be _this_ hungry, but I guess I was wrong.

"Three months," my eyes bulged by the answer, you could hardly tell!

She continued, "I wanted to wait until my first trimester before I told anyone, we have had a miscarriage before this one," she added quietly. I squeezed her hand, as her other one disappeared under the table instinctively.

"Are you ready?" she sighed looking back at me, her eyes glassy.

Rosalie maybe tough and stern, but she still was an expectant Mother, a woman who worried for her baby, or babies, and who was just as vulnerable when losing one.

My heart clenched.

"Yeah –let's go."

"Rose, what –"

I sighed when Rosalie silently passed Emmet to climb the stairs without a word, shopping bags dangling forgotten in hand. His worried cerulean eyes met mine, automatically knowing something was wrong.

"We got to talking about the baby, I'm sorry I didn't know you guys had lost one."

"What?"

My heart stopped when all blood drained from his face. I never thought of someone keeping that a secret. I bit my lip as the all the strength in him seemed to drain from his body. Then his brawny frame spun taking the stairs two at a time.

I may've only made things worse. I groaned, taking a seat on the front step. Could I do anything right?

There goes any chance I had at a friendship with Rosalie.

"These'll help," I glance up to see Esme taking a seat next to me with a full plate of freshly baked brownies, still hot.

"How – "

"Trust me," she smiled, motioning for me to take one.

"I blew it," I breathed, stuffing one in my mouth, the warm moist sweet practically melting in my mouth.

"She was going to tell him, Rosalie had been procrastinating for a while now, then she found out she was pregnant again, thinking she didn't have to, she confided in me, and I told her it wouldn't help at all to keep secrets, that it would eventually eat you up inside. When now it just seemed she was waiting for you, you told Emmett, and his duty now is to be there for her, comfort her maybe even council," she smiled then, warm and motherly, the proud smile for a mother's son. "He's always been there and has always been able to calm Rosalie down. Sometimes all you need to know is that there's someone who loves you."

Esme then wrapped an arm around my shoulders, trying her best to comfort me. Seemed to be her personality, I concluded. I snorted, trying to take her advice whole-heartedly, but I still had my doubts.

"I pushed her into something I knew she wasn't ready to talk about, or tell for that matter."

"Rosalie and Emmett have been through a lot together; they'll get through this with each other as well."

With a peck on my hair she stood and left with lone last comforting smile, I couldn't help but sit and wallow for the next minutes though. I took my bags upstairs, quickly stuffing them in the closet before anyone could see I knew I wouldn't be wearing those any time soon.

"What's wrong?"

I froze turning around expecting someone to be there. When the doorway appeared to be empty, Emmett's voice sounded from the hallway.

"Stirred up memories, I'm going to get her some water," his voice was heavy and rushed, probably wanting to get back with Rose.

Emmett for was so caring, Rosalie was lucky, I thought.

This information case my chest to tighten, _I _had stirred up those memories.

I felt terrible.

My eyes stung as I closed the closet door listening to Emmett's determined footsteps fade.

That's when Edward appeared.

"Get anything worth sharing?" At first he didn't notice, but after a time I tried busying myself by remaking my bed, promising myself I would not, under any circumstances, cry. The already made bed, however is what made him suspicious.

"Bella?" I pressed the corners of my lips in, trying to keep them from quivering, but that didn't stop my chin from shaking.

Edward caught on to this.

I covered my mouth with my hand as he approached, silent tears starting to trail down my cheeks, keeping my gaze downcast even though I couldn't see.

"I'm sorry," I cried, Edward taking off my coat, replacing the material warmth with his own wrapping his long, lean arms around my frame. I felt so small and vulnerable in this embrace, only causing the sobs to burst forth, his comfort only causing me to cry harder.

"What for?" he protested, resting his chin on my head.

"I didn't mean – Rosalie," Edward caught on.

"It happens," I flinched, his voice seemed accusing I knew I was being ridiculous, but right then I knew I wanted to be alone.

"Yeah," I nodded, pulling away from him, my head tilted downwards, it was getting late and Esme probably needed help with dinner. It was the least I could do. But he wouldn't let go.

"I'm fine Edward I – "

"No, you're not fine." Again with the accusing tone, "I haven't seen you all day, is it bad to believe I did miss you?"

"What? I –that's not even, we're not even on the same page," I glared up at him, a migraine starting to scratch its way at my temples. I just felt so angry and agitated; I think I was getting my period. I couldn't help but think he sounded selfish.

"Would it be such a task to let me in? You can be so quiet some times."

My eyebrows just about shot up to my hairline.

"So I'm the one with communication problems? You didn't wake up to an empty bed this morning. _You_ left, you haven't voiced anything you keep going along with this care free façade. _You're _the mystery, not me," I poked him in the chest, fuming. He snorted.

"Is this why you're so angry? I got up to read, you're mad at me for having insomnia?"

I shook my head in disbelief.

"You have no idea how wrong you are, don't down play anything here, I worry about you. I'm sorry I do."

"There you go feeling sorry. You stress out all the time, don't worry so much. I can't – just –"he grunted turning around to tear his fingers through his hair.

"Now you're getting angry with me because I care?" I asked, a low blow I may admit, but that was later, this was now.

"Now who's the hypocrite?" he accused, spinning around suddenly, his eyes ablaze, his hair sticking out in all directions. My fists balled at my sides, my eyes tearing for a difference reason now.

"You make everything so difficult!" I fumed.

"You're so stubborn and hard headed!" he shot back.

"You're so pessimistic!"

"Oh am I? You're the queen of insecurity and lack of self esteem!" he shot back lamely.

My lips slid to the side, he was right even though I was right on the others, he got me on that one.

"You win, you're right," I sighed with a shrug looking out the window of the balcony the snow falling silently outside, contradicting the raised voices in the room.

That only made him yell, startling her.

"See! You always shut down! Say something, fight, yell, or hit me I don't care! Just fight back!" he stated in aggravation, no longer making any sense, I snorted I wasn't sure if we were ever acting out of sense. I gazed back at him, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breathing.

"Please go, Edward," I murmured, all the air leaving his lungs in one gust, his body deflating, his face dropping.

"No, Bella that's not –"he stepped closer. "I didn't mean that –"

His hand reached out, contemplating touching me, I immediately tensed, which must've been the answering he was looking for.

"Everyone has their first fight, I guess," he smirked, the smile not reaching his eyes.

The silence seemed to drag on.

"I'm going to help Esme with dinner."

I walked out before he could say anything more, I didn't want him to say anything at all.

"It won't be easy dear," I froze, in mid half peeled potato, of course Esme probably heard us, how is it they still wanted me here? She glanced at me knowingly as she chopped away at a head of fennel.

"It was weird to get in an argument with a doctor in the ER," she mused looking back.

"What happened?"

"Oh, a disagreement, a broken wrist you know, back when I used to renovate houses. I ended up breaking a fall by breaking my arm." She sighed, moving to a bell pepper.

"Naturally," I replied, I've had my share of accident, and they were no stranger in my case.

"It was weird to be on that kind of level with someone," she continued, "Like a certain, I don't know…"

"Passion?" I probed, curious.

"You could call it that, certain, wave-length I suppose, but it's just that from the moment he walked in the exam room, I automatically knew I wouldn't like him."

"Come again?" I asked, surprised, trying not to nick my fingers with the potato peeler. She smirked, now chopping a tomato, God I was horrible in the kitchen.

"I always hated the 'pretty boys' growing up because they were so cock and so full of themselves, of course I had no luck in guys growing up."

"But you're gorgeous," I blurted, feeling my face burn as I said so. This caused her to laugh, shaking her head, her silky auburn hair moving with her.

"I was a late bloomer dear; forget any dating in high school mind you, but when I saw Carlisle, he practically fit the mold of any jock who thought they could get anything they wanted. I disliked him because I automatically thought he had a humongous ego."

"Well, was he?" I asked, already pulled in.

"In a way yes, I remember glaring at him when he tried to stifle a laugh when I explained to him how the whole accident happened." Her eyes had turned soft, remembering.

"And recall basically calling him a chauvinistic prick, storming off my arm still in a makeshift sling. I hadn't even let him look at it, I didn't want him to. I didn't want to show weakness like any other woman would, I was too proud."

"And then I pulled you out of the way from a car." We both turned to see Carlisle leaning against the doorway, pleasant surprise forming on Esme's face at his intrusion.

"I felt so horrible that you were so eager to get away from me by rushing into the ambulance loading bay."

"I wasn't looking where I was going," she scoffed half-heartedly, turning her back to finish zesting the lemon.

He winked at me as he passed, wrapping his arms around her waist while perching his chin on her shoulder. I stared as he whispered something in her ear, placing a kiss on her neck, causing Esme to _giggle_ and playfully swat him away with the grater. Although we didn't hear a protest from her at all as he just wrapped his arms around her once again.

I sighed and rushed through the potatoes catching my fingers a few times during the process. When I was finished I decided to escape the peaceful atmosphere of the kitchen and see what mindless reality shows Emmett was watching.

It was everywhere in this house.

Even with Emmett and Rosalie, something in the past seemed to still drift over them. But they still loved and laughed.

I was missing something, something inside me simply lacked. Preventing me to love, to live, and just be happy.

I sighed.

Patience helped.

But I couldn't just sit and watch life pass me by.

I had to do something.

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**I realized I've kind of been emo recently with my chapters and Bella, so I plan to liven things up exponentially with this story. : ]**

**More upbeat chapters to come!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello Guys! **

**Next chapter right here.**

**Review please, I'm getting all these PMs to update, well here I am, I'd just love to see what you guys think.**

**So please tell me, review.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Edward! Get out, I don't want you here!" I hissed, Jesus, he was so stubborn he even had me kneeling on the bed, half naked thrusting my arm towards the door, pitch back engulfed around us. It even took me a while in the first place to figure out if it was indeed, Edward.

Our eyes hadn't even move to the others direction as we ate dinner; no words exchanged what so ever. Not even, 'can you pass the mashed potatoes?' nothing.

And now he was in here at midnight, sneaking into my bedroom like some adolescent. I snorted, as if I couldn't feel any more ridiculous. He grabbed the hand that was outstretched, holding on as I tried to tug it out of his hold.

"Bella – you can't expect anything else when you're acting just as stubborn," his fingers warm and soft encasing mine, his thumb smoothing over the knuckles.

"But I –"he gave me a pointed look in the moonlight, my mouth closing.

"It's just –"his hand landed on my lips.

"You can't blame me for being persistent Bella," he breathed, "I'm sorry for this evening I worded everything completely wrong," he concluded. When I finally rolled my eyes in acknowledgment he spoke again.

"Now you can talk," he removed his hand as I glared. I had nothing to say if he just came in here to_ man-handle_ me.

I gasped as his lips tugged at my own, brushing back and forth, his thumb pushing down my chin, succeeding in coaxing my lips open, successfully licking his way into my mouth. Smoothing over my teeth and completely engulfing with his long and delicious strokes. His hand cradled the back of my neck as the other tangled in my hair, as if he wanted to consume me completely.

_God_, he was a good kisser. Have I said that?

All too soon he pulled back, his forehead pressing against mine.

"It's your turn to speak," he informed, his breath fanning over my face.

I stared, dazed and in shock.

"You can't do that," I accused, my voice half whiny he just smiled.

"Good luck getting me to talk then," I huffed in frustration, he was so _agonizing. _

"A minute ago, you wouldn't shut your mouth," I pinched his arm, "Ow!" Now it was my turn to smile. But his stare was murderous, predatorial as he now tugged on my hair.

"Then no more talking," he growled, his lips attacking me then, sucking the skin down my neck and under my jaw, merciless and unforgiving, he probably felt my Adam's apple bob up and down as I swallowed audibly.

"Edward if you think –"I jerked as he nicked the skin over my fluttering pulse. He couldn't expect me to form coherent sentences if he kept doing that.

"Now, I don't –"his hands smoothed down my cotton covered sides, his thumbs hooking under, his fingers grazing the warm skin, I shivered.

"You're so – umpf," someone's weight pulling you down on a bed would silence anyone.

"What did I say?" he murmured against my skin, his pouty lips feeling unusually soft against my neck, tickling hundreds of nerve endings, waking them up with the occasional pokes of his nose.

"You, Mister are way too smug for my own desire," I muttered, a complete lie, I might add. My body then went completely stiff, unresponsive, coming up with a brilliant idea. Two could play at this game.

"Is that so?" he pulled back to quirk an eyebrow, his chest hovering over mine, his right hand smoothing down my side.

"I'm sure there's a spot somewhere…" he trailed off, pursing his lips in concentration, looking absolutely silly as he did so. His hand gripped my hip, digging his fingers just above the bone that jutted out, I jumped with a yelp.

"Nope, not there, I wonder…"

Damn. That did it, with a slight closing of his fingers a few centimeters above my knee he had me jumping up in the air.

"Jesus! Don't," I nearly squealed.

"What an odd spot to be ticklish," he mused as he continued his onslaught.

"No! No stop! Please!" I gasped between girly giggles. His eyes blazed and glistened as a wide smile spread at my torture.

Smug, sadist, chauvinistic bastard.

"I am a genius, no?"

Did I mention egotistical?

"Nope," I laughed, that was my fault.

And so the tickle fight continued, though it really wasn't a fight, it was more like an acknowledged tickle surrender that still mercilessly continued.

I threw my head back while I flung my arms about, trying to push him away when it suddenly clicked.

"Ahha!" I giggled, curling my fingers around his sides, his face fell, his torso flying sideways as I dug my hands, jerking them this way and that, adorable laughs leaving his lips as our situations swapped.

Now this was a tickle fight.

His face scrunched up and lit up all at the same time I had to laugh along with him – he was too cute.

Edward lay down on his back as my fingers ceased the onslaught, showing him some bit of mercy from their clutches. I placed my lips against his bobbing Adam's apple as he tried to catch his breath.

"I have my leverage as well," I quipped, breathy and completely exhausted he had woken me up after all.

"If only I knew better," he sighed, still out of breath, his hand resting on my back as I lay on my side, facing him our legs tangle together on my bed, or the guest bed. I shivered as I suddenly remembered what tomorrow, or technically today, I glanced over at the clock noting it was 1AM.

"What is it?" he must have picked up on the panicked expression I, without a doubt, had on my face.

"I'm your student," I stated quietly and rather bluntly for an explanation.

He nodded without hesitation.

"Yes, and I am your Teacher, you are dating your Professor." Not as blunt as his statement though.

I rolled to my previous position on my back. A sigh practically bursting forth as I thought people, a butte load of people about to stretch as far as the eye could see in the Cullen's practical Mansion.

Fuck.

Could anyone be as thoroughly screwed as I was about to be?

I think not.

I threw my hands up to cover my face, groaning into my palms at the mere thought.

"Bella?"

I ignored Edward's annoyingly amused tone at my episode; I was having a panic attack for God's sake, had he no decency to lay there and let a girl be during her melt down? He had much to learn, ironically so. I groaned again as his pillow-y soft lips nestled against the crook of my neck.

"You're distracting me from my fit," I whined like an infant against my clasped fingers, letting out a puff of air as his legs once again tangled with my calves.

"You've figured out my intent," he mummers, against my skin. Eventually I relented, peeking out from between my fingers quite childishly-my sentence-being met with bronze and evergreen.

"Must you be so frustrating?" I breathed, exasperated.

Edward grasped my hands, tugging them away, kissing the knuckles.

"Must you be so cute during your tantrums?" he grinned.

Shit – that grin.

My insides lurched, more preferably towards his general direction. He scooted closer and rested his cheek just above my breasts, his hair tickling my chin. Now my heart stretched five times its diameter and volume, for the woman in me gave out romantic sighs as I stared at the top of his head, the organ only making more room for him to stay.

I couldn't help but be touched as my fingers grazed tender patterns over his back. He felt vulnerable, our positions switched and I didn't feel like the younger one in this situation for once.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," he breathed. His hot breath unintentionally grazing my right nipple through my thin cotton night shirt, increasing the intimacy of the moment, reminding me how close we really were, in fact this was the closest we've ever been – for this long anyway.

I scoffed, "You think me too weak if you thought I was truly offended," I concentrated on running my fingers through his hair, a little rough as it had went through the day. When he didn't say anything I realized his breathing had become heavier and his weight had concentrated itself solely on me, his body still.

He had fallen asleep.

Seven Professor cradling hours later...

Jab.

Jab.

Jab.

Agh – what was – oh.

Is that?...

Why – yes. Yes it is.

Well.

Shit.

Um, yeah…

I winced as I tried to wiggle out of Edward's grasp, hopefully able to free myself and leave before he discovered his morning wood also. While I was in the same bed, that said morning wood jabbing itself into my hip quite painfully I might add.

Fuck.

It was safe to say Edward – had remarkable circulation.

Wow.

Hell, ladies, no one can blame me when my eyes trailed down to…woah.

I'm curious! Don't criticize me.

Yes, I do realize every woman must exaggerate the caliber of what her boyfriend may be packing, but gosh, I couldn't be lying 'bout this one, in fact, there was no one to lie to, since in fact I was lying in bed talking to myself it may seem.

Now I'm guilty for not putting it into use sooner, if only I could grow some figurative balls. My girly side giggled as I conspired ways to have my way with him, my face emitting its very own heat index the entire time I did contemplate mind you.

With this new found radiation wafting off my face, surely hot enough to rival the powers of a white dwarf, and just as bright with its electron-degenerate matter I stashed this knew found knowledge of Edward's- stature- away until I was finally able to disentangle myself from his limbs and slouch into the bathroom.

After taking care of business, successfully de-tangling every strand of hair that could possibly resides itself on my scalp, effectively ridding my teeth of any plaque and thoroughly exfoliating my face, making sure no dirt or oil was forgotten in my pores-which, in essence, was impossible-I returned to the bedroom and the useless heap in my bed.

Well – guest bed.

A delicious moan escaped his now pouty lips and my stomach clenched painfully. I wandered back into bed, wiggling into the still nice and comfy warm blankets, with a satisfied sigh.

"Stop hoggin' the duvet," I looked up in alarm to see Edward's closed eyes and moist lips parted.

Is he?

I stifled a giggle.

This was too rich.

Only Edward would say 'duvet' in his sleep.

"Mmmm, perhaps later, I'm too full of marshmallows," my face contorted at the sheer bizarrity of his talk, my lips twisting this way and that to try and stifle a grin combined with laughter.

"You take the chocolate. No! Wait till the marshmallow is done, _then _put it down, or the chocolate won't properly melt to the consistency you want it, hmm, now you're getting it all over yourself."

My smile broke – where was this leading? Professor Cullen having wet dreams?

Damnit. Who am I kidding? He's still a leading member of the male community whether he's a Professor or not, of course he is.

"Mmmm, melted s'fine, that's better," he half murmured/groaned.

Nothing else was spoken after that.

"I'm not so sure it'll go well with the graham crackers though, crumbs everywhere…"

Okay – that did me in. I broke down into giggles my body spazzing besides him, of course this would wake him up, and of course he had no clue why I was going into hysterics beside him, practically withering in laughter, he must think I'm such a loon.

His quizzical brow was all the more comical.

"You – Mr. Cullen are quite the character," I gasped between fits.

His eyes were half shut and his hair was everywhere, I'm sure he had morning breath also.

But God was he adorable and mine.

He seemed to ignore me at this point groaning as he turned to his side, finding me a lost cause already.

"Gah!" I screeched in surprise as Rosalie burst into the room unannounced, which seemed to be her style. Without a word- for the second time I had been there-grabbed my hand Edward's body gloriously sprawled out in my bed disappearing as she dragged me down the hall.

"I – Rose – it's not what you think," I tried to sputter.

She just rolled her eyes with a snort.

"Oh come _on_ Bella, don't be so dense, you two would have to be naked for something like that to happen if you didn't know."

I huffed, "I have had sex before," why on earth am I saying this, I have no clue, maybe the sudden urge to prove to Rose that I wasn't as much as big a prude that everyone in the whole known universe probably found me as.

"What is the meaning of –"my voice instantly broke when she shot me one of _those_ glares, I kept my mouth shut, you didn't argue with _that_ look.

"Isabelle, if you must know, I am in charge of getting you ready for our yearly, god awful,' boy do I want to shoot myself' Christmas party tonight," she sighed matter-of-factly."And you're going to tell me what all that laughing was about last night." A smug look on her face, I just groaned.

Once again we woke Emmett and once again Rose kicked him out in nothing but boxer briefs.

"I have to say-and please don't draw and corner me-he has got one nice ass," I congratulated Rose on the score.

"God, don't I know it, pretty generous handful if I do say so myself," we both snickered like the foolish girls we were. My mind then wandered to Edward's slacks, usually covering up his backside, I realized I've never taken a good eyeful, what was wrong with me?

"Now, I have everything we bought, washed and pressed, so all you need to do is get clean up yourself," would I ever get ready in my own guest bathroom? There I go contradicting myself again. As Rose shoved the same hair care products, body wash, scented oils, and skin moisturizer, my question was answered. I nodded silently knowing there were no if's, and's or but's about it. And I had to admit Rosalie knew what she was doing, if she was helping me in trying to get laid, who was I to complain? It's not like my short young adult life held any accomplished feats that had been completed on my own.

Twenty nice smelling and clean minutes later…

"I thought the way I did your hair yesterday was a nice choice, so I think we'll go with that, thoughts?" I would've shook my head, but Rose was already pulling my hair every which way restricting my head of any movement, leading me to believe that, that question was rhetorical.

Weren't my detective skills shocking?

"What about Edward?" I asked, thinking back to his delicious boxer clad form rolling all over my sheets, _guest_ sheets that is. Back muscles bunching, thigh muscles clenching, rock hard muscles hidden under baby soft skin. I wanted to lick him and run my fingers all over…perhaps a groan leaking from those blossoming lips of his…so bitable…

"Bella!"

"Huh?"

I realized then I must have sounded like such a perv.

"You do realize you just recited all that out loud to me just now right?"

The heat under the skin covering my face cranked up to an extreme record high as I avoided her eyes, I even think out shining the white dwarf, maybe the heating power of an orange subgiant; Increasing in volume and luminosity class.

Jesus – kill me now, just let Rose gouge out my eyes with the eyelash curler. Maybe I'll bleed out by lack of - nothing covering the eye socket.

Yep, this was the girl working to get her Masters.

Rosalie laughed and shook her head.

"It's always the quite ones who have the kinkiest thoughts…" she trailed off with a wink humiliating me further. Nah, I've gone supernova as it appears…skipping a few solar masses, and star cycles.

"And that's exactly why I'm here to help," she directed my attention from my black hole tendencies, moving my gaze to the lingerie she had laid out on the bed – bless you Rose. All I could think was – lace, lots and lots of lace as I gingerly slipped on the matching set, thinking that the material could tear on one careless tug or two. They probably made it that way on purpose I thought the spectrum moving back down to white dwarf territory as I thought so.

Black.

Okay, contrasting with my milky, pasty white skin. Nice.

"This isn't even _for_ tonight and it looks fantastic," Rose commented from behind, my skin heated it took me a while to get comfortable to dress in front of Alice, so Rose – was awkward for me, even though she didn't seem to notice.

"Come on, really show me – it's fine whatever you have I have more," okay so maybe she did notice.

I couldn't really object to her statement though, she_ was_ right.

As I turned around and looked in the mirror, I was stunned I actually had a nice pair of tits going on up there – surprising. No shit they called it the wonder bra, it spoke completely for itself.

"Damn Bella, if I didn't have a steamy husband with a squeezable ass, a kid and a bun in the oven – I might have been into you," I smirked at her humor and went back to put on the comfy snug sweater and jeans she laid out. I'd be mildly disturbed if it wasn't such a Rose thing to say.

I wanted to whip out the spirit fingers and do a little jig – something with comfort involved, I wanted to cheer.

"He'll be on his knees once he see's you, and you'll dress in your room tonight – I'll have everything laid out," she walked closer, opening her suitcase to show me what I was wearing.

"Now, the really important, crucial part-if you want him to squirm all night- is you need to make sure he walks in on you dressing, or at least sees you crack the door or something, I don't know, all I know is that he won't be able to concentrate all night and that's all in your favor for after," I blushed at this, a knock sounding at the door. Rose growled, thinking it was Emmett.

"Who is it?"

"Edward," oh man, he sounded pissed.

My heart jumped.

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**Review! **

**Maybe give me a few suggestions as to what you think should happen. **

**I plan to make things a lot steamer next chapter so stick around. **

**And another thing, I really listened to _Kaskade_ as I typed this baby up, don't know them, you should seriously look them up.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Some much needed smut on its way, hopefully you guys are prepared. **

**It is safe to say this is my longest chapter, clocking in at 4.5K which to me, is a novella's worth.  
**

**I hope you like it.**

**And please review! **

**Reviews to us fellow fanfic writers is like alcohol to a drunk, heroin to a recovering addict, chocolate to a chocoholic, coffee to a coffeholic, sex to a sex addict.**

** You catch my drift. **

**So please, I need my fix, and you will be rewarded with more Bella/Edward action on my part. **

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"Where are those four dozen poinsettias I ordered? Yes, the carnations and roses go in the dining room, the gold ribbon and silk will go in the ballroom. The ice sculpture? Ballroom as well. No! no, no the instruments go in front of the French doors to the balcony. Catering will enter from the back and into the kitchen. Table placements and arrangements are already finished. Where are the poinsettias?"

Holy God.

"She gets so excited and over prepared," Carlisle seeming to be a mind reader.

All I could do was nod silently as I stood by Carlisle watching Esme at work in the hustle and bustle of people setting up.

"Every year – she always manages to outdo herself," he mused, obvious and abundant amusement and admiration sparkling in his caramel coated and hazel eyes. He quickly intercepted her hand as she glided by. He raised it to his lips asking,

"No need to get worked up darling – I'm sure everything will work out in the end."

Esme just snorted and walked past, but still appreciative by his affections, obviously.

"And every year she ignores that," he smiles anyway. I sigh at the blatant glow in his eyes, even after decades in love; they were still head over heels. It made me want to find Edward.

Turns out I didn't have to.

"There you are," A murmured voice coaxed its way to my ear as his breath tickled down my neck, palms coming to rest audaciously on my waist.

I turned then to see him deliciously wind-blown, taking in his adorable red Peter Smith scarf and green sneakers, he was looking mighty festive. I shivered as his hands cupped mine,

"What were you outside for? Your hands are icicles!" I exclaimed, actually worried, it was freezing outside! I pressed his large hands together, trying to encompass my tiny ones around his, adding some friction into the mix. He pulled me in closer, his frame practically curling around mine as he used me for warmth, I didn't mind.

Edward chuckled in my hair, nuzzling some loose strands with his nose, I felt a few pokes in there as well, "The cellar needed more wood, I decided to go chop some," he stated as if it was the most normal thing in the world, to go woodchuck-ing in the morning.

"Don't you guys have, I don't know…lumberjacks to get your own wood?" I was only met by his laughter by my stupidity. I growled into his sweater.

"Yes, even though logging was what started the booms of lumber towns and the initial harvesting and transport of trees, in Washington in the early 1900's that isn't necessarily the case here," leave it to Professor Cullen to give me a history lesson.

I huffed, "Still, correct me if I'm wrong, I still can't see you outside, being all 'one with the forest'," I threw in my own air quotes.

My smile was interrupted with a chirp bursting from my lips however, for Edward had just pinched my ass.

Did –

Did he just?

I – What? Who?

Did he just go there?

I am not the type of girl who likes her ass being pinched, especially, if said pinching were to occur at all, in public. I slowly turned around, my face; I'm sure covered in shock.

"Did you just –"

"Pinch your delectable bottom? Why yes, I did," he growled in a blatant challenge, our voices lowered and faces inches apart so no one could guess what we were frequently discussing.

Where did this playful creature come from? Where'd Edward go?

Anger surged, red characteristically covering my face, I'm sure. If he thought he could just – man-handle – me…well then he had another thing coming. I clawed at his hand, dragging him down the hallway as I fumed, pulling him and around the corner as we saw Esme round that same corner.

Quickly, Edward pointed toward a door, a supply closet, so we could finish this in privacy, I was grateful. I didn't care, as long as I had some place to chew him out for a while. I pulled him in, turning on the light bulb above our heads in the crammed closet.

"Listen bub –"I poked my index finger into his already amazingly hard pecs for effect, our faces inches apart once again, due to lack of space.

Yeah, right.

"If you think you can just man-handle me in front of a crowd of watching eyes then…you…"I trailed off as I finally noticed his heavy breathing – tousled hair and…oh! His emerald green eyes were a dark, dark jade, no black. Now, I was no Optometrist, but I recognized dilated eyes when I saw them, in a daze as I took in his also flared nostrils.

Well, slap me silly and call me Sally, this was a riled up man if I ever saw one with my own two eyes.

My finger deflated in strength against his chest as Edward silently pressed me against the shelf with his body alone, pressing up against me with maybe a little too much pressure, but hey, I was most certainly not complaining.

I couldn't breathe, as simple as that.

My heat indicator was going off the charts, stars were about to implode, black holes were forming, sucking up cosmic energy and space, taking me, and perhaps Edward with it.

If a space time continuum was ever going to be discovered, I would be right in the middle of it. My head was forming the black, and white spirally vortex from the Twilight Zone, my eyes practically rolling back into their sockets as I watched constellations and galaxies pass right between my nose. I knew if I went any further I was most certain I'd be able to contact Starfleet.

Boy how much of a geek was I? Back on topic.

"Bella," he growled/groaned. Oh yeah, I was definitely on the mark. No need for a targeting computer here.

My god, Edward pressed all of himself into me, I whimpered by the sheer heated contact and tension that now filled this cramped space. Both his arms lifted, his hands resting on the shelves behind me on each side of my head boxing me in.

"This," he shifted his hips against mine, my eyes rolling in the back of my head.

"Is what you do, I don't control anything you call all the shots," he breathed, starting to nibble on the left side of my throat. I was speechless. I was – stunned to say the least – where did this come from? My seducer? He snapped his hips forward, a loud gasp escaping my lips as his erection jammed against my pelvis, looking for friction which was something I also desperately needed.

Edward's heavy breathing was quite audible in my ear, a groan vibrating in his chest as he repeated the thrusts of his hips. Was this happening? All I could do was whimper as his hands trailed up my sides, his fingers dipping into my already low sweater. Pulling the fabric down only an inch; revealing black lace lining the top cups of my bra.

"This, only a glimpse of this is enough to get me riled up Ms. Swan," he growled and I swooned, are we using last names now? On reflex my head shot backward, hitting the metal shelves with a clang as his lips latched onto the sensitive and delicate skin right about the lace, his teeth pulling at the material after every few sucks.

I already died and was going to a very blissful hell.

His hands rested on my ribcage, effectively pushing upward, causing my breasts to practically spill out of my sweater. With the suction of his mouth and hard-on nestled between us, a knife constantly shot through my insides, solar-waves crashing into every nerve, so strong it was almost painful to endure. I wanted him – like nothings else, more than I ever thought I would. Through my gasps and his heavy breaths, I was able to move my hand through the muddled, heavy air and down his waist to the prize I wanted.

Jesus. His girth alone made me shiver and ache insistently.

He groaned in desperation as my fingers trailed over his throbbing dick. I could feel the heat through his jeans. No kidding. The sexist noise ever. To make him do it again, I fisted his erection, experimenting with a squeeze. Score, his whole body jerked to get more contact with my palm.

I was euphoric.

"Com'ere," he growled, a hand trailing down to my thigh lifting my whole leg to wrap around his waist. I took the hint, pushing off the other so each leg wrapped around him.

We both gasped as that put us in perfect alignment. The juncture of my legs; to the swollen head under his jeans.

He rested his forehead to mine and we stood like that, our breaths mingling, I thought I would hyperventilate by the excitement and pleasure coursing through me. We were both trembling, sweat breaking out on Edward's forehead as I moved tendrils of hair that dangled over his face. My insides were throbbing and aching, looking for any kind of fulfillment. Our eyes met and he experimentally shifted his angle with the twist of his hips. That alone caused me to jerk and squirm, his cock now rubbing expertly over the cleft in my jeans.

"Again," I begged, all logic now out the window as he handed me pleasure.

His eyes fluttered, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he shifted again, this time with more force causing my back to arch. My hand flew out behind me, gripping a shelf for leverage as I met a thrust he made.

"Again," I ordered, only thinking of this, I needed wanted this desperately.

His hands replaced themselves, winding around my back so his palms came to rest on my shoulder blades, his fingers wrapping around my shoulders to keep me in place as we moved together without pause.

"Again? Again?" he asked with each thrust, not looking for an answer, his face concentrated, his eyes aggressively possessive, we locked gazes his stare smoldering and burning, creating a solar flare that would eventually consume us both helplessly.

The objects resting on the shelves clattered, threatening to fall but we paid no mind, his breath, his heat, his body, his sweat was the only thing I could care about.

His release. Mine, was so close.

The band in my gut, holding me together, tightened, twirled impossibly tight, my frame shook as Edward fought to hold me in place my legs and arms trembled my back arching further as my body fought for release, to unravel. His face twisted his moth wide, matching mine, attempting to keep my whimpers and his moans down.

This moment was glorious to see him with no control, complete abandon, to be the one to cause this carelessness and unguarded expression of pleasure.

"Come with me," I pled, my hand drifting down to encase his growing cock.

"Keep doing that, keep going and I will," he groaned, his forehead finally coming to rest on my shoulder, his head too heavy for his depleting strength.

His left arm was a vice around my waist, keeping me in place as I squirmed and jerked with my orgasm. My back arched my head thrown back as I shook, the band snapping, releasing a torrent of muscle spasms through my limbs and core, all the way down to my toes. I moaned out his name and he groaned, his body completely stilling as he came, his left hand gripping the shelf by my head as he jerked, once, twice and was quiet. Edward's head pulled away as we took in each other's disheveled hair and dilated eyes, gasping for air.

My bones turned to jelly, his arms now the only thing keeping me, great fatigue now grabbling at my head.

Edward's lips pressed above my left breast, feeling the organ threatened to burst from my ribcage. My heart almost hurt with its own effort.

"Wow," he murmured, burying his head in my neck as I felt him relax too. Yeah – what else could be said? Wow.

Mmm, I concur, I thought.

He practically purred as my nails scratched through his scalp. I answered with a giggle.

But then,

_You just dry humped your teacher in a closet, rang in my ears._

That was correct.

I waited for regret to surface, the fact that I was doing something in no way, should I be doing in the first place. I squeezed my eyes shut waiting, waiting, but it didn't come.

My eyes snapped open, nothing; I only felt the fully satisfying exhaustion that came from having a mind –blowing release with a man that was pure sex in the physical form.

Outstanding.

That's when Edward decided to pull away, looking so adorable with his hair sticking up, definite cow-licks going every which way, his scarf had been pulled and tousled-by my hands I could only assume. He swallowed, panic surfacing on his face.

"Good god, I'm – I, uh –"he pulled away, my legs disentangling from his hips, my feet hitting the floor as he gave me space, which - I didn't really want.

He stuttered for a few more seconds until saying, "I'm sorry, I just practically molested you, and – you just, couldn't, I just saw you bend down this morning and I saw the top of that," he pointed accusingly to my bodice, placing all the blame on my now favoritess bra on the whole world.

And no. Favoritess is not a word.

Rosalie was an unparalleled genius. I decided to roll with it. He just looked so cute and boyish, like his hand got caught in the cookie jar, or in this case, caught down my sweater. I rested my hands on my hips, my bra cups still visible for his viewing pleasure.

"I'm offended Mr. Cullen, that you specifically shoved your hands down my shirt and sucked on my breasts till they reached oblivion, going ahead and forcing me to have the best orgasm of my known existence. How dare you."

He actually thought I was serious, probably just paying attention to my tone and not the actual words – men and their attention spans…

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean – "he cut off, his eyes turning into slits, I could practically see the light bulb turning on. That's where my mistake was ladies. And the occasional guy out there.

His hands shot to my sides tickling me to the next millennia. First he's digging his hands into my waist, the next his lips are latched onto the top swell of breasts again, effectively silencing my laughter and pleas. Edward's eyes rose to mine, trailing kisses up my neck and finally to my lips. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, wrapping his arms around my waist, and mine, around his neck.

"I'm sorry for man-handling you," he apologized in a murmur against my lips.

"Hell, if you man-handling me ends in orgasm, then you can man-handle me a lot more often," he chuckled.

Feminism be damned, bring on the O!

My face relaxed as our tongue's danced around each other's, I knew I was falling for him, I fell for him a long time ago, but his kisses, them alone made my toes curl as he pulled me closer into his warmth.

"They'll be looking for us in no time, and I need to clean up," he whispered in the quiet space between us, his lips pecking at mine.

"Me too," I breathed, my mind somewhere else entirely. He helped me with my sweater, reluctantly seeing the lace disappear. I giggled as his forlorn pout. Edward smirked, that lovely smile and kissed me deeply once more before motioning for me to go first.

"Where the poop have you been?"

I pressed my lips into a thin line snorting as I took in Rosalie's angry face and Aidan balanced on her hip, completely oblivious. But I should've known Rosalie's anger was no thin lip, snorting matter. It only took two seconds for it to click anyways.

"Emmett!" she practically screamed, I looked at her in horror. Oh Jesus! God! Was she going to broadcast this for everyone to hear?

"Rosalie! No! No," I plead, literally collapsing to my knees at her feet.

"What? JHC Rose!" Emmett hollered back as he made his way up the stairs, but her anger only decreased; highly unexpected.

"Darling! You didn't curse! You're lucky Bella and Aidan are here or else you'd get your M'effin A'ed effed like there's no tomorrow."

"How am I lucky that that's not happening?" he asked exasperated, flinging his hands in the air, looking extremely dejected. I laughed at both of them, and then Rose turned to see me on my knees.

"What are you doing on the floor? Get up, you look pathetic," Oh, thanks Rose.

"Here, take Aidan and go have some male bonding time," she handed him over. Poor kid, he had to deal with them all the time. I sighed, figuring by now Rose had no aspiration to shout my dry humping escapades to the whole household. At least I had clean panties now. I wander where Edward is…

"Come here girl!" Next thing I was being dragged to Rose and Em's room, for the second time that day I might add. She actually pumped her fist in the air.

"Little Bella just go laid! Sweet fuck, I'm just shit good," she cursed, must be getting the words out of her system until she had to go around saying things like 'poop' and 'fiddlesticks'.

I kicked the toe of my left foot against the carpet, sheepish.

"First, you have the capability and potential to make to increase the capacity of a sailors blush that would surpass mine. Second, technically I didn't get _laid_."

"Technically? What falls under the category of technically? Either the dick's in the pussy or it ain't."

I felt my face morph into disgust at Rosalie's foul mouth. Good God. If I get married, get pregnant have a kid with another on the way, will I be subjected to this kind of atrocity? Will I go mad and say things like, 'cunt' and 'cock'?

Sweet Mother of Mary! I already have!

Thought ramblings aside…

"I – we –"

"Spit it out Bella. Cunniglus? Fallatio? Finger? Hand?" She continued to question, my face reaching 'red supergiant' capacity.

"Kind of hand, or hands, if you look at it at a different angle,"

"Kind of?" She circled, interrogating.

"1st 2nd 3rd?"

"2 ½?" I questioned, hardly sure. Didn't the bases vary from person to person?"

"You two were naked?"

"Oh I wish," I blurted, thinking of Edward's chiseled bod. One I haven't come close to seeing fully. Tragic I tell you. This only made her smile, I could see her telling me I was slowly making my way into womanhood; I rolled my eyes, womanhood of what?

"Okay Bella – I understand, your mentally retarded when it come to sexual encounters of the male kind, so we'll take this slow." She started, annunciating every syllable, I huffed. Because with Rose, what could you do? She did get me as far as she did, so all in all I was indebted to her for the rest of my life for a chance to get a handful of the Cullen. Which was a field Rose had expertise due to obvious reasons.

"We'll go down the list,"

They had a list?

"Making out," I nodded.

"Tongues?" I nodded.

"Fondling?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," I couldn't contain myself.

"Which part of the female slash male anatomy Bella? I need specifics here,"

"Um, I – breasts," I whispered the last part.

"He groped your tits? Okay, um anything else?"As if she were talking to a three old, God forbid this actual conversation.

"Look! We dry humped okay? He pinched my ass! I dragged him to a closet and he pressed up against me like the Earth was about to be hurdled towards the Sun and incinerated by the 27 million degree temperature! Okay? You happy now?"

"Geez Bella, that's all you had to say in the beginning," she replied calmly, completely unfazed by my outburst, "and all this happened just now?"

I shrugged, "I guess he saw me in the kitchen this morning and bend over…? Apparently he got an eyeful of lace,"

"Guys are so predictable," Rose rolled her eyes in mischief.

"Now, since you guys had your little rump – you are to take a shower, come back out here and I am to do everything over again, this time with your secret weapon," she instructed, pulling me back into the bathroom.

One hour and thirty painful but productive minutes later…

Rosalie had me shaved, plucked, curled, make-uped, perfumed and lingerie-ed, leaving me half-naked, shoving my dress and shoes into my arms, she prompted:

"Now, guests will start arriving in thirty minutes, so you have until then to go into your room with the chance of Edward seeing, commencing the cock-tease for this night. Go!" She pushed me out the door and I sprinted towards the guest room, praying to God no one would see me in all my lace and panty clad galore. I laid my stuff out on the bed. My timing or- Rose's, I should say- perfect. Edward appeared and came to a dead halt in the doorway. I turned and 'acted' surprised to see him. My, timid and shy demeanor, however, was not faked.

Edward's mouth opened as to say something, but it closed just as quickly. This situation brought me back to the night where I had walked in on him dressing, our places switched, boy how much things have changed.

First surprise and shock took over his features, then astonishment. But what I was hoping for came next. All this gave away; his eyes were dark, black and dilated. The muscle of his jaw clenched as I knew he was grinding his teeth together.

Edward stepped in, closing the door behind him without out taking his eyes off mine. This made me glance down to his suit, a silvery blue, only illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the French doors. He looked very much like a gentleman, very suave and debonair.

And I never you used those words, especially not to describe a guy I've ever met.

"You really should try and get dressed quicker next time," he laid out between us, threatening, his voice laced with practical warning, a new air setting over him, creating tension so thick in the room between our bodies I could feel it start to rest on my shoulders, caress my neck, I could see it.

My breath grew heavy and deep, my heart ready to start palpitations, wanting to burst from my ribcage and meet him across the room. I think I was going to need new frilly 'cheekies' before the nights end as well.

His steps towards me were, quite slow and calculated, gut wrenching in his chosen speed. My throat grew tighter as he drew nearer, my heart wrenching with every footstep.

This Edward changed, molding into the Edward who had pinched my ass and pounced on me in the hallway closet. That only made this encounter all the more exhilarating and frightening. Then in the blink of my eye, he was in front of me, his torso and chest rising and falling with the pace of his expelling lungs, his breathing had picked up also, intensely so.

His hand moved up my forearm to cup my elbow, his smoldering and burning eyes never leaving my submissive ones. His touch was hot, his palm calloused but also smooth. That's when he captured me fully, his eyes practically a caress amongst my skin as he looked me up and down. A lover's breath down my neck, to the smooth fingers down my arms, a tender feather-light touch down my thighs to the praised feel of my ankles and toes, all this with just his gaze.

He drank me in and I stood, anticipating his next advance. Edward's lips moved to the shell of my ear, his moist searing hot breath ironically causing gooseflesh to break out on my skin.

"We have time, I want some of you before this blasted 'party' begins," he breathed, a shiver crashing down my spine, his lips now moving to hungrily devour my mouth. His hands eager; his body insanely responsive.

Yes sir.

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**Well, hopefully you guys enjoyed that, as much as I liked writing it.**

**Update will probably be next weekend, I'm getting better with updating, am I not?**

**Please Review! You will seriously make my entire day if you do.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys, a little later then the weekend, but that's what happens when other work is due.**

**More cheesy universe puns on the way.**

**(Yes, I know they're horrible, but I just find myself incorporating them into the story anyway)  
**

***Now, this will be my last update for a while, and I apologize deeply.***

**But it will be for the benefit of this Fic, I recently read back through my chapters, and I cringed on everyone. I now noticed how pour the quality of my story really is, so I plan to do some major revising and editing. I'm going to fix my typos and grammatical errors and probably add more detail to my earlier chapters. I was just in such a rush to update I didn't take into consideration the quality of my updates. **

**(Hopefully I've gotten a little better with my newer updates.)  
**

**This is where the obvious saying comes in:**

**"Quality over Quantity" **

**So that's what I plan to do. Technically I will be updating, but just the old stuff, in hopes to make it a lot better then it already is. **

**Enjoy.**

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**This had to be a dream.

A day dream.

A fantasy.

All I knew was that this couldn't be real, any of this, the air felt heavy and seemed fuzzy, my eyes unfocused.

"God you are so beautiful," a groan vibrated through his chest, hovering over me. His lips gloriously sucking on my right nipple; Edward Cullen was a breast man, who know? But once you figured that out, it was insanely obvious.

My back arched and my hips twisted as both his index finger and thumb pinched insistently at the pour pebbled rose bud. I wasn't complaining or anything, pleasurable torture if you will. Sorry girls, but what I say goes, take one for the team. His nose nuzzled my breasts, my pretty lace bra carelessly discarded and long forgotten on the floor.

"Did I mention how much I love your breasts?" he murmured, cupping them in his palms, simultaneously bringing them together. Boys and boobs… "I could just sleep on them, a lot more comfy than any pillow I've felt, that's for sure," he cooed, talking more to them, then me, I felt a little left out, I pouted. But then he started to suck where the skin swelled above my ribcage, I moaned at the attention.

"You have in fact," I noted, chuckling but then whimpering as I felt his nose nudge against my belly button, and then my hip bone…

How'd he get down there so quick?

Wait…

"Wait –"

Edward must've noticed how the whole lower half of my body had stiffened at his advances.

"Yes my lovely," he crooned, kneeling on his knees in front of me, slowly, slowly undoing his tie and pulling off his suit jack and dress shirt, unfastening each button carefully, laying them over the back of a nearby chair not far from the bed.

"Wouldn't want it to get all wrinkled," he smiled mischievously, assuming his earlier position. My heart jumping, his hair tousled, lips swollen.

"Edward, I uh – wait, I've never, no one's –"No one has ever gone down on me before. Personally, I could never see how it could be pleasurable for the guy and of course from my lack of sexual experience, I'd never been faced with the decision, or this situation. Of course Mike Newton would never, and I'm not sure if I even wanted his mouth anywhere near _there._

I watched as realization dawned on him, his lust drugged face and eyes turning tender, knowing. I stiffened as his hands came down on my thighs, softly, slowly pulling them apart, the muscles in my legs unyielding, simply because it was Edward doing this. I jumped and gasped as his nose nudged the top of my frilly panties.

"I promise you'll love it, it's quite pleasurable," he purred, tugging slightly at the waist band with his pearl white teeth; almost glowing in the dark by the moonlight. His eyes shot up to meet mine, coaxing, and if I was not mistaken, begging. Who could say no to that? I squirmed, my insides fluttering and clenching just by the desire and eager shining in those pitch black eyes. He _wanted_ to do this – something I couldn't believe, but looking at Edward, seeing him, I could. He wanted to give me pleasure and I was touched in a way any woman would be by the thought.

"And I love doing it, very much so," he clarified for me, as if reading my thoughts, his eyes melting in their intensity. I swallowed, my fingers weaving in his silk hair, my silent okay. A beautiful heart-breaking smile broke out and he reached over for a pillow, I looked at him questionably but he just gently slid me up, my head resting on the pillows at the front of the bed, the pillow in hand sliding under my hips.

"Just so you're comfortable," he winked, smirking, I could only stare in honest curiosity.

He scooted down, lying on his stomach, raising one of my legs, resting my thigh on his shoulder opening me wider to his gaze, my face flaming, my stomach full of butterflies.

I gasped and jerked as his nose prodded at my panty clad sex, his teeth nipping at the moist heat, a whimper escaping as his breath washed over my clitoris.

It felt so odd and so amazing, with an index finger, he slid the lace to the side, his tongue reaching out and licking completely down the slit. My back automatically arched, my hips jerking by the different contact, shocking every nerve, sending each one ablaze in solar heat.

"Edward," I gasped, astonished, honestly questioning myself on what this man was doing to me, what he could do.

Both his hands held down my waist, trying to keep me in place as his lips closed around my clit, adding suction. It was unbelievable, fire shot up my arms and legs, pleasure a knife, cutting through my insides violently as he licked and sucked, lapping up all the moisture that collected.

"Oh – oh," I couldn't shut up my mewls and whimpers as he went down on me, his freshly shaven chin and cheeks so smooth, brushing against my thighs, his mouth so hot, and his tongue, oh his tongue…and his lips.

The electricity shocking each nerve ending into hyper-drive.

My legs shook, my shoulders squirmed and my toes curled, Edward not letting up for a moment. I tried to prop myself on one elbow, tangling my fingers through his mop. But the sight of his bronze hair between my thighs was too much and I immediately fell back down breathlessly, helpless; at his mercy under his lips and mouth.

"Hhmm, you taste so wonderful Bella. Now come for me sweetheart."

Ugh, Edward's coaxing bedroom talk, wasn't prepared in the slightest. Pants left my lips, my vision star struck as I fought for release, Edward doubling his already out-of-this-world efforts.

But it was when he added in a finger, curling it upwards, towards my belly button that caused me to come completely undone.

"Oh…Edward," I moaned, my back arching uncontrollably, my hips moving this way and that as colors burst, muscles contracted and limbs stiffened. He continued the languid strokes with his tongue and lips until my body became still, my muscles turning to jelly. My head was foggy with swirling water and frozen carbon dioxide, engraining themselves into the crevices of my mind, taking up residence just like Edward, I felt high off carbon molecules and ionized gases, the things comets were made of, a spectacle filling my brain completely. Edwards magnificence however, outshining any comet that would streak across the sky.

You could tell I was turned to putty by my own orgasm.

My frame relaxed back into the mattress, there was no way this bed was so bad anymore. I watched through comet stardust, hooded lids and heavy breaths as he licked his lips, inserting the one finger that had brought me release, sliding it lazily in his mouth.

I was pretty sure I was just going to come again by that. He was just too sexy.

His demeanor completely changed once in the bedroom. Turning into a different person all his own.

A sex god, my own Jupiter as his fingers leisurely and effortlessly bended me to his will.

He crawled up the bed, deliciously sliding up to my side, wrapping his arms around me, exhausted euphoria settling a tired haze over my mind, clusters of stars at the heart of a galaxy swirling in the center, making me dizzy.

"Are you nervous about the party?" he nuzzled into my neck, his tongue pressing against the salty heated skin.

I thought and it dawned on me, I was too tired and satisfied to even care about the party anymore. I wasn't even sure if I could walk as of yet, let alone dance.

A shit eating grin spread across his face as he read the realization all over my face, his hand absent-mindedly coming up to slide amongst my ribcage, cupping my left breast. I moaned, shifting against him, a hiss permitting the vacuumed air sucking out all the oxygen around us as I brushed against his very hard and very noticeably hot and swelling erection.

A white hot urgency shot through my insides, and I suddenly wanted him desperately buried deep inside me. I at least wanted to see him, a desire to touch him and perhaps return the favor he had brought to me, to bring him unparalleled pleasure.

"Bella – stop," he commanded, his arms wrapping around me tightly to keep me in place, his voice and face suddenly, deathly serious.

"We both have to get dressed, everyone will be arriving in five minutes," he warned hotly against my ear, his voice panting with his obvious want.

"What about you?" I asked, truly concerned, I wasn't sure about guys, but I always thought it looked extremely painful to go without any kind of relief, while we girls would suffer also, but the only inconvenience would be the impossible mess.

That aside…

He chuckled at this, massaging my scalp slowly with his fingers, making me want to doze off and forget the party.

"Don't worry about me beautiful," he placed a kiss at my temple, "We'll have plenty of time for that later," he nearly growled, his words only making me squirm against him.

"Please?" I begged, ready for him now.

This only caused Edward to stiffen against me.

"Ungh, Bella, please don't beg me, or I might end up doing just that," he groaned, pressing his hips against mine, revealing his erection, pressing it harder against my ass.

"I wouldn't mind," I murmured, wiggling against his dick.

"You're incorrigible you know that? I think I've awakened something in you," he purred, shifting against me.

Which makes me think I really have…what? Three days ago, I would have been painted red with embarrassment and astonished by my own behavior right now. But at this moment, I could certainly care less. All I wanted now was him on top of me, gloriously penetrating me, working me to oblivion.

Edward pulled me tighter against him, both of us moaning as skin pressed against skin, both of our bodies insanely overheated in this vacuumed space, despite the cold outside. Our moist breaths mixing his insistently washing down my neck, both of his hand cupping my breast; cradling them in his palms.

I was slowly losing my mind. And I didn't care, the molecular chemistry and attraction between us was unquestionable, once a spark now ignited and flamed, out of control in this enclosed room.

And we weren't even naked yet.

Edward's body spooned behind mine on the bed, our legs tangling with each others. A covalent bond between our bodies; I gasped and moaned as his erection pressed against my ass insistently, urgently.

But both our bodies jumped as an aggressive knock sounded at the door. Edward groaned as that caused my body to press against his hard-on, our eyes widening in alarm.

"Bella! How long does it take you to get dressed? Hurry up and then go find Edward; people are already starting to arrive!" The tone of Rosalie's voice didn't fool anyone, conveying what she really meant:

"_Both of you quit screwing around and get your fuckin' clothes on before you're caught by someone other than me."_

We both nodded to the empty air, trying to clear our head's and catch our breath, returning to reality.

I scrambled off the bed, reaching down to retrieve my bra quickly snapping it on. I looked for my dress, to see Edward had draped it over a nearby chair.

"I'll go down first," he said curtly, combing a hand through his tousled hair. I gasped thinking about the situation mine must be in. Rosalie will probably kill me in due time. Edward was already completely dressed, slipping his shoes back on – making his way to the door.

"I –"but I stopped, thinking otherwise.

That's when he stopped, Edward's back to me. He spun and before I knew it his lips were smothering mine, our breaths mingling, after a few moments of his tongue caressing mine, he pulled away with heavy pants; his hands gripping my elbows, fingers caressing skin.

"I'm sorry, but I must leave quickly, I've already stayed a lot longer then I should have," his forehead leaning against mine. I nodded; our nose's brushing up against each other. After all, I knew this much was true. He squeezed my waist then, slipping a cold tin box in my hands.

"Wear these for me," he asked, before striding out of the room.

A sigh escaped my lips as I proceeded to slip the dress over my head, ready to get this over with. I slipped my shoes on and looked down at the box, smoothing my fingers over the lid, with a deep breath I opened it.

Of course that breath forced its way from my lungs as I took in a pair of beautiful earrings.

Two teardrops of the blackest onyx.

Very simple, but very expensive, I could just tell. And knowing Edward, they were.

With trembling hands, I carefully retrieved them from their velvet box, slipping them into my ears, my heart tightening by his gift.

Alice seemed to always force me to wear some jewelry every day; I was usually in a rush and never took time to wear any kind of that stuff, but I'd wear these, especially if Edward got them for me.

I made my way out into the hallway, already able to hear conversation and laughter going on downstairs. Nerves knotted my stomach, a deep breath trying to calm down the raging tornado of anxiety in my gut.

Rosalie tactfully intercepted me at the top of the stairs, looking lovely in the dress she had bought for herself the other day, pulling off violet effortlessly.

"You look beautiful Rosalie," I commented, unable to, since it was so apparent.

"And you, looks like you've had a little romp in the hay," mischief glinting in her eyes; her fingers trying to salvage what was left of my once curly hair.

God bless this woman.

"And I'm just trying to push Em's buttons, purple is his favorite color on me," proving she never stops messing with people, even her own husband. We just both snickered like a couple of girls. While fixing my hair, she obviously caught sight of Edward's earrings.

She paused, her eyes turning to slits; but quickly covered her expression, not fast enough though, I caught it.

"What Rose?" I all but demanded fingering the teardrops nestled in my ears self-consciously.

"Nothing," she shook her head, not willing to breath the subject.

The questioning obviously came to a close as she took my hand, pulling me downstairs and in the throng of people locating Emmett oddly dressed up with Aidan in a cute little sweater for himself, hair slicked to the side.

"Belle!" he wrapped his arms around my leg adorably.

"Jesus, you're looking as fine as ever."

The heat automatically turning up in my face, he was only met with Rose's glare.

"Ah come on Rosie, paying a compliment to the little lady, cut an old man a break."

"Don't you dare start calling yourself an old man that just makes me look old."

Emmett didn't dare say anything else, Rose shooting daggers.

While they both started a feud, I was being dragged away by Aidan.

"Papa!"

Uh-oh. I was a little nervous to face the parents without Edward present. Esme eased it a little as she came up to give me a hug, looking completely classy in her dress, Edward apparently inheriting his suave demeanor from his father.

"You look positively stunning Bella!" Esme gushed.

"Thank you," I murmured shyly, "I love your dress," I commented back, thinking to play it safe. Esme winked playfully.

"You look lovely tonight Bella," Carlisle nodded politely, I smiled, my face flaming.

My eyes looked at his side then, my breath catching in my throat to see Edward's eyes locked on mine, his longs legs carrying him this way in strides.

"Darling!" Esme exclaimed, giving him hugs, Carlisle shaking his hand as he intercepted me. His right arm wrapping around my waist, laying a kiss to my temple; my face began to burn white hot at the display of affection in front of his parents, no matter how platonic, or proper, my mind still wandered to not ten minutes ago regardless.

"Sweet," he murmured, his lips pressing to my ear by the proximity; his nose slightly prodding at his earrings snuggled into my earlobes. Edward's lips curled against my cheekbone, smug, and completely aware of our audience.

"The decorations are wonderful," I commented, Edward lifting his head from my hair, facing Esme his body still completely pressed to my side. Esme beamed.

"Aw, thank you Bella, I was afraid I'd gone a little overboard."

"You always think so," Carlisle conspiratorially whispered in her ear, somewhat taking the same stance as Edward, wrapping his arm around Esme's waist. I looked up, his eyes saying 'see' a smirk taking hold of his lips.

It was then I decided to take inventory of the ballroom, reds, gold's, and of course greens littered the ceilings and chandeliers, draping around the marble columns, assorted flowers everywhere and alight orchestra playing softly. This all must've been sent in from Seattle, I can't imagine any number of this from this town, Forks.

I'd never seen anything like this place, in someone's _home._

"Are you okay with Aidan?" he whispered in my ear.

I looked down to see him plopped on the marble, pushing around a little red car he must've stowed away in his pocket. He was so adorable and so well-behaved. Rosalie must've threatened him with no dessert, I mused.

"I'm being forced to mingle, forgive me?" his eyes shining with adoring apology, how could I not understand with that expression? My fingers smoothed over his lapels to fix his tie, he looked so extra-ordinary, and he was mine.

"Don't worry about me – I can suffer for a few minutes," I waved my hand in dismissal, feigning nonchalance while my nerves were being shocked with anxiety.

"I'll come and find you," he murmured, a breath taking smirk lighting up his eyes.

'Please do,' my eyes shot back playfully.

Both his hands clasped mine, his palms enveloping even my fingers. Emerald blazed, smoldered as he brought our hands up to his lips, kissing the backs with an open mouthed kiss. The promise of what was to come, searing my veins. My insides tingled, soothing my nerves by a fraction.

My chest ached by how good-looking he was and he wanted _me._ He was going to return to me before the night came to a close. My index finger trailed amongst the line of his jaw before he pulled away, blinking slowly with well-contained restraint before turning to the crowd.

Aidan tugged at the end of my dress, and I remember I was still standing in front of Edward's parents, however horrible that may sound. My dazed eyes quickly turned to Esme and Carlisle, anticipating the verdict.

Both had knowing smirks on their faces. I was surprised by the amount of acceptance and pure excitement I saw in Esme's. Carlisle looked rather smug.

"We're so happy Edward is so taken with you Bella, you're such a lovely girl," Esme couldn't hold in, her hands clasped together, my face heated at the comment she seemed to be holding in for a while.

"I am too," I stated quietly, shyly; Aidan showing me his car once I was done talking.

"Esme is right of course, and your welcome to stay any time you'd like –she tends to crawl up the walls without any company here," Carlisle smirking down at his wife.

"You exaggerate too much," Esme scoffed, her eyes drifting behind him.

Carlisle turned his head to the direction of her gaze, his back automatically becoming stiff, his posture straighter, shoulders being thrown back taking on the stature of someone rather pensive.

I curiously turned to where they were staring; I saw a platinum gold dress falling to the floor with no back and bright strawberry-blonde hair. The woman shifted slightly and I saw a flash of bronze and silver, whoever she was, she was talking to Edward. And she was practically hovering all over him.

I couldn't look away, as if experiencing a car-wreck. But Aidan pulling at my hand forced me to bring my gaze down to the little boy.

"Mommy?" he asked in question, placing his thumb in his mouth, while reaching up to me with his other arm. What time was it anyway? Wasn't he supposed to be in bed by now?

"Yes-of course sweetie, come on," his arms reached up and I gingerly picked him off the floor, his hands going to warp around my neck as I turned to Carlisle and Esme; their expression now cautious, regarding, considering.

"I better go find Rosalie," motioning towards the sleepy toddler in my arms.

"Of course dear, just watch your step," obviously not talking about the shoe, Carlisle titled his chin down in agreement, his eyes full of warning as I nodded, understanding, I turned down the hallway then, of course that was even packed. I continued down, Aidan already snoozing and drooling on my neck as I heard Rosalie's voice in the kitchen over the clang of pots and pans, I froze.

"This isn't a game Edward, and I can see where you're going," a scoff followed.

"You think I don't know that? You have to give me more credit than that Rosalie," his voice stern, clearly annoyed. I turned to the corner, away from the doorway and out of sight. The kitchen was packed and crowded, full of caterers and waiters in a rush, but I could still hear their conversation in the mist of it all, they must've been close to the door.

"You can't buy her or her affection – she's different and you know that, so treat her as such," Rosalie seemed to implore him.

I was a little surprised Rosalie was defending me, family always won out in the end didn't it?

"Of course she isn't like her, if _that's_ who you're referring to, and that's exactly why I chose Bella, why I want to be with her." Something in in his tone or expression must've convinced her because she didn't say anything else.

I quietly started to step away, deciding to just go find Emmett, but that's when I heard the sharp, determined click of heels behind me.

It was the strawberry-blonde. Her smile bleached white, almost like some parts of her hair.

"I saw you earlier; I was a little surprised Rose hired a baby-sitter."

My chin automatically dropped by her calculation, she thought I was the nanny? Did I look like one?

"I – no, that's not-"I stuttered, my mouth finally closing, at the failed attempt, furrowing my eyebrows. I was just too shocked and surprised by her unexpected comment. She was practically sincere, her voice laced with honest curiosity, either played or real, I couldn't pick up.

"Aw, did the little guy conk out?" Rose came in behind me, expertly ignoring blonde, taking a sleeping Aidan from my arms. But this didn't faze her at all.

"Rosalie! You didn't tell me you hired help, and after all that time I tried to convince you." Her voice friendly, obviously well acquainted with Rose and Edward, now Aidan apparently.

Rose snorted quite loudly.

"What have you been shooting? Bella –"

"- is with me, Tanya,"

Before I could turn, Edward's arm already intercepted my waist, wrapping tightly and possessively pulling me into his chest. I looked back – Tanya's eyes glittering with malice and disdain, subtly doing a once over of my simple dress and heels.

"My mistake," was all she offered.

And then it clicked.

_Blonde Bimbo_.

This must be she.

But before she turned, her eyes dropped to my ears, a spark of recognition and loathing formed.

"Lovely earrings, did it come in a set? Or did he not pull that on you yet? Of course only Edward would have the audacity to get a matching engagement ring, wouldn't you say?"

Her comment left me miffed, her intended action, I'm sure.

Now I understood Rosalie's reaction to them at first, her calculating expression; the argument with Edward, same stone. But why did that matter.

_Engagement ring._

Edward had stiffened substantially by my side, his hold loosening. Good thing too, because I was more than bristled, wouldn't it have been helpful if I knew he had been engaged before, simply if not just out of courtesy? Possibly married? Was this his ex-wife? That's useful information I think anyone you plan to enter a serious relationship with would like to know.

My fists clenched and unclenched at my sides.

I had never felt this angry or humiliated or as idiotic.

_Stupid. Stupid. _

Adrenaline coursed through me, making me feel like I _needed _to punch something, my eyes filled with angry tears, my muscles stiff for a fight.

And I wanted one.

Preferably with Edward.

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**Will dance for reviews.**

**And will repay with smut.  
**


	22. Chapter 22

**So...update! **

**As always I apologize for the wait, after all I'm sure everyone was just _dieing_ for this fic and this fic alone...**

**Anyway, I took the time off to write another story:**

**_Maine _**

**_It's on my profile, feel free to read it, if you so choose. _**

**_And enjoy._**

**_

* * *

_**_I couldn't believe this, he was denying me? After what just happened? What he hadn't told me? _

"_Now you listen here pal –"I cupped the pulsing hard bulge in his slacks, causing a delicious, completely self-satisfying groan form his lips as my fingers tightened their hold. My mind was too out of whack to really comprehend my audacious move to be honest. _

"_After what you pulled – lying and completely distrusting, I deserve to give you hell, and you _will_ listen to me, I _will_ bring you to your knees." I had no clue who this woman was that had inhabited my body and took control and confidence in full force. But I was starting to like her._

"_Yes," he whispered in my ear. _

30 tension filled, rage induced, confused minutes earlier…

I didn't say anything, I could not if I was trying to avoid losing my sanity, a scene only following, inevitable if that were to happen.

So I walked away.

From Edward. From Rosalie. And from this godforsaken 'get together'.

I had made it up the stairs and into the silent darkness too, until I felt a hand clasp my arm. The touch hot and tingly the sign of only one person.

"Bella – don't walk away without at least giving me the chance to explain."

I whipped around, insane and out of my mind, perhaps blowing this whole thing out of proportion, because obviously this had never happened to me before, I wasn't sure how to react.

"Oh – you're scolding me now, are you? You feel the need to patronize me because I'm 'overreacting' in your words, is that correct?" I fumed, clenching my fists at my sides. He growled and combed two hands through his hair I couldn't tell what was over me, I urged him on.

"I would've given you the chance before tonight, but not now – I don't need to know you once asked her to marry you and that slept with her and shared the same bed. She made that quite clear without any input from you." I turned to leave but Edward grabbed me again, pulling us into a close room down the hall, closing the door, hard.

"Let go of me."

I struggled, but his body only pinned me to the door, his stature a lot more overpowering then mine. His hands came up to rest on either side of the door, boxing me in.

"You may not want to hear what I have to say but I _am _going to say it." His hiss keeping me in place.

"Why should I?" I sneered, grabbing his forearm by my ear and squeezing he didn't flinch just continued to talk by completely ignoring me.

"Seven years ago when I first started to work towards my Bachelor's all I was concentrating on were my classes, I had graduated high school early, I had taken classes during the summer's even then, I had practically tested out of all my basics during that period. I can't imagine why now, but I had such the aspiration to hurry through schooling so I could jump start my career." He had started, his eyes boring into mine, demanding my attention.

"I had no time for anything else, money was far from my worries so there was no reason to get a job, not that I could fit in hours for it anyway. One day I met Tanya, who had gone to England to visit family. She was at the library one day when I was doing research. Of course I had no desire to start a relationship with her all I was concentrating on was the work I wanted to pursue, what I wanted to be, knowing Tanya she sought me out and would insist on dates." He sighed, rubbing his fingers over his eyes, his gaze shifting to the door behind me.

"Through our relationship Tanya always did all the work," he snorted, continuing, "She would tell me where and when to meet her for dinner, a movie, I never really supplied much effort towards anything with her, reluctant in the beginning just thinking that I was wasting precious time. Usually she would just visit my dorm while I studied, she always seemed to be around no matter what. It was easy and I put forth close to nothing towards the relationship. I could just focus on studying, for me, It was a win, win." He paused, at this point I only wanted to listen so I stayed silent until he decided to continue, and putting together all the pieces I had never heard.

"Four years come and go so quickly I can hardly keep track, we hadn't seen each other as much since Tanya only had relatives in the area, but she kept in contact. I start to work towards my Master's looking forward to my phD everything was so close and so fathomable I could nearly feel it, everything was starting to work out like I planned. At this point I've been killing myself to achieve the one thing I wanted the one thing I wanted to accomplish for myself, I piled on the hours, taking way more then what was required or recommended to speed up my degrees. A little down the road, I decided to ask Tanya to marry me. By then I figure once I start teaching I won't have much time for a passing fancy or to meet anyone else seriously. Tanya seems to be the easy way out, it was logical, it made sense to me so I asked her and she said yes. That is – until a month later, I find her cheating with someone else and in my own apartment no doubt. I called the engagement off and what I thought was a mutual break, after all she had cheated on _me_. Through this, I noticed how upset I should've been, but really I was just disgusted by the defilement in my sheets. Apparently, by the appearance she made tonight, Tanya is still sore, can't imagine why." He finally finished, I felt my eyebrows furrow.

"Why couldn't you just tell me that? After you guys dated for well over four years?"

"I was going to – I –" I snorted at that.

"When? After tonight? Did you even know she was going to be here?" I shoved away from him – meeting no resistance, his nostrils flaring.

"Of course I didn't! Would you think I would've done nothing if I would've know?" he fumed.

I take off the earrings and place them on his dresser, realizing we're in his room. Edward saw this, and his temper finally flared.

"Now what? You didn't like them because of what she said? What do you want me to do? Say I'm sorry for ever thinking about marrying her?" he asked, exasperated, but this only made me spin around.

"Is that why you think I'm mad? I don't care that you wanted to marry her! That you dated! What makes me angry is that you spew out all this 'let's be true to each other' bullshit only to turn into a hypocritical asshole in the same day!"

"Oh! 'I was too pent up with insecurities' Now who does that sound like?" he challenged, stepping closer I shook my face burning.

"You selfish bastard! You want me to forgive you and you think this is the best way to go?" My body pent up with rage and aggravation over this impossible man.

"Where are you going?" he accused grabbing my arm once again.

"I'm leaving! I can't stand you! Let go of me!" he only turns me around, ignoring my tantrum as he once again pushes me into the wood door. But what I feel this time really causes me to snap. I thrust my hips forward cruelly, causing him to stifle a groan, his eyes turning into slits.

"Does my being pissed off turn you on?" I taunt, dragging my thigh slowly up the bulge in his pants, pressing harder then was comfortable – causing him to wince, but standing his ground making me smirk.

"Don't act coy – you know what you do to me," he growled against my ear, thrusting his hips forward, causing my back to bang against the door, the wood rattling our breathing speed up I knew I was aroused. Edward pushed our forehead's together nose's taking up space, lips touching but not kissing, not even close.

"Let go of me," I challenged our lips brushing each others, his hand trailing up my thighs taking all the strength I had, but I tried not to act fazed by his scorching touch.

"No," he deadpanned, his right hand trailing up my dress, meeting lace as the tip of his fingers traced around my abdomen until going down, down and…

I couldn't help but the jerk of over responsive nerves causing my hips to bang against the door once again as he pressed, _hard_ on my panty covered clitoris.

"You don't want to leave, admit it." His thick voice hoarse words heavy and dripping with lust his hot throbbing bulge nestled into my right hip, his right arm between us. Pants left my lips, risking energy just to try and keep myself still as his fingers worked constantly against the swelling bundle of nerves. Pulses ran through me with each unforgiving pass my resolve crumbling as I unconsciously allowed him to continue touching me.

His words filling my ear huskily, "See? Just feel what I do to you, what I _can _do – if you let me."

My hands squeezed his shoulders, fingers ringing and grasping skin and muscle as he trailed hot, wet open mouth kisses amongst my neck, trailing down to my collarbone. Euphoria taking hold against any control I harbored in the first place.

"I hate you," I breathed, fisting his jacket in my hands, "Oh how much I hate you," I was between pleasure and pain as his teeth nibbled and his tongue sucked taking away all blood in that one section of skin, leaving a mark in its wake.

"You're mine and no one else's," he growled his fingers pressing harder.

I felt defeated as a lungful of air left mine in a gasp, a loud moan leaving my lips as climax finally met me. I screamed his name in a snarl, his lips coming down to smash against mine, silencing my moans. Light exploded behind my eyelids, the whole Milky Way at my disposal as I reached my Utopia in Edward's arms. My body kept jerking against his until the muscle spasms _finally _stopped.

Edward stilled but I wasn't going to allow pause, still too pent up with tension. My hands quickly made it down to his belt, undoing the clasp slipping off his jacket, but his hand caught mine.

"No – Bella not like this – not when we're like this."

Ha! What? Did he suddenly grow reason while I was seeing stars just now?

"I'll have you, whichever way I want you." I challenged, pushing against him, unzipping my dress and pushing it to the floor all in one motion.

I wasn't sure where down the road I had effectively lost my mind, but it had definitely happened. And I was going to take full advantage until insecure shy and submissive Bella came back.

I couldn't believe this, he was denying me? After what just happened? What he hadn't told me?

"Now you listen here pal –"I cupped the pulsing hard bulge in his slacks, causing a delicious, completely self-satisfying groan form his lips as my fingers tightened their hold. My mind was too out of whack to really comprehend my audacious move to be honest.

"After what you pulled – lying and completely distrusting, I deserve to give you hell, and you will listen to me, I will bring you to your knees." I had no clue who this woman was that had inhabited my body and took control and confidence in full force. But I was starting to like her.

"Yes," he whispered in my ear.

"See? Just feel what I do to you, what I _can_ do – if you'll let me," throwing his words back in his face. I felt powerful and in control as I noticed his drugged eyes moving up and down my form. His hands just itching to touch me, I finish slipping off his slacks and boxers without releasing my grip, just anxious to finally see him.

We stumbled backwards, his body landing on his back on the bed, his legs dangling over the side. I couldn't control my breathing, my hands or my mind. With quick work, I slipped off his tie with jerky motions, un-tucking every single button off his dress shirt peeling it away from his magnificent body. I moaned at just his defined stomach and hips tantalizingly leading a path to his impressive erection. The skin dark, veins visible, hard and throbbing, adding a weeping tip, all for me. My mouth watered at the thought of tasting him, unspeakable thoughts filling my head.

I stopped and glanced up at Edward, to see his eyes completely glazed over, fixated on my lips, the pectorals of his chest rising and falling quickly with each intake and outtake of breathe. _Waiting. _His silence hadn't fallen to deaf ears. A vision of sexiness and all for me, I had no idea where to start with this man flat on his back on his own bed, under my mercy.

Well – maybe I had a little clue of what I was going to do.

My hand rose, going slow, so his eyes would follow so he'd know exactly where it was headed. My fingers nimbly wrapped around the head of his dick already slick and glistening with precum, the perfect amount of lubricant I needed to slide the pads of my fingers in a circle including a small twist with the rotation of my wrist at the crown.

Almost immediately his hips jerked up to meet my hand, a strangled groan reaching his lips, his head lulled to the side as he leaned on his elbows.

"Ah…fuck." He mumbled under his breath gasping for air. I smirked, he was already so close, I could tell – by the twitch of his hands, and the way his brows furrowed in an adorable way. No pun intended but I had given my handful of hand jobs.

My palm then made a pass down his length, my fingers separating from each other as I made it to the base. His back arched, his head thrown back in abandon as I made another pass. His whole body was exquisite, his face, glorious. Just the way his lips parted silently, making no sounds his brows furrowing in the middle almost in quite pleading to give him what he wanted. His thighs clenched his abs rippling as I sped up the pace and tightened my grip. Base to tip, twisting my wrist as I went.

But I really threw him in for a loop when my lips were suddenly circling his head as well, my fingers encasing around what my mouth didn't reach.

"Bella! Jesus!" he groaned, his fingers shooting into my hair, as if to catch his breath. Not happening today pal. His hips started in time to each pass I made with my mouth concentrating on how hot and hard he was in mouth, against my tongue, the way he tasted.

He was _very _close.

Curse after curse came from his mouth as he started to whimper and writhe under me, growling out my name as he came. His body jerking as he came in the back of my throat.

"Oh god Bella," he tried to get out between pants, the fight leaving both of us.

Then soft hands were grasping underneath my arms as he gently pulled me to him as if I were a doll.

"I'm sorry, Ah, I didn't, I should've told you I was…" he trailed off while he tried to catch his breath, I finally caught on.

"Edward I wanted to." I blushed, seems like insecure, shy and submissive Bella was back. His hands cradled my head, unadulterated adoration on his face, in his eyes. My breath caught in my throat as his lips took hold of mine. They tugged at my bottom lip, his tongue tangling and caressing mine in a heart-wrenchingly sweet kiss that was everything gentle and tender.

Edward's legs tangled with mine, his right arm wrapping around my waist to bring me closer into his side. Our lips never parting, how we had hot-blooded anger filled passion five minutes ago and now soft, slow desire bubbling under the surface was beyond me.

"Bella, Bella you have no idea how incredible that was. I just hope you can forgive me?" Regarding Tanya I assumed. I sighed and took in his ruffled hair and flushed face, his eyes glittering and dark. Looking so boyish in that moment, he was adorable.

"I hate that I can't stay mad at you." I complained half-heartedly. His whole face lit up, practically blinding me as he smothered my face with kisses, my neck too.

"Hm – you won't regret this Ms. Swan," he purred.

Edward brushed the back of his knuckles amongst the apple of my cheek, my body automatically melting into him. His hips nudging against my backside back arching as he did so.

A knock sounded at the door, Edward's body jostling mine as we both jumped, startled.

Once, twice.

And then it was gone.

Our eyes met, my neck straining to look behind my shoulder.

_Rosalie._ We both thought.

Curses!

How did she always manage to find us?

"Maybe it was just as well," he murmured his breath searing my ear as he shifted his hips once again – making a point. No pun intended at all. I nodded my head, trying to catch my breath.

"We should head back down."

"Edward…" I breathed, starting to protest.

"Don't argue," he coaxed right back at me, his breath hot against my neck, lightly biting down as he shifted to move. I squeaked and he chuckled, bending down to locate his shirt in the mess of things on the floor. I rolled lazily on my back for once content and completely satisfied, smiling dreamily and a little smug of Edward.

It was safe to say I had been taken care of. And I'd never think I'd like the thought of that.

I opened my eyes to see Edward stiff, dilated eyes on me and at first I thought something was wrong, but then I noticed the little muscle below the apple of his cheek twitch, his eyes wandering, which made me remember:

_I'm topless._

"You better put some clothes on Ms. Swan," he warned darkly causing me to weigh the outcomes to agree or disagree with his demand. I felt a little mischievous but then I thought that perhaps I'd pushed his envelop enough today.

I smirked and stretched, my back arching off the bed, bringing my hands back to rest behind me against the headboard; full-on tantalizing him beyond belief. He growled, and wrapped one strong arm around my waist, making me feel small in comparison. But I didn't pay any attention because, the next thing I knew, those pearly whites were closing around one sensitive nipple that I would very much like to keep and nurse with children one day.

Edward's eyes lock with mine, holding me in place with that smoldering look through fluttering eyelashes.

"I'll just suck your nipples out of commission," he mumbled against a very sensitive swollen and red swell. I could almost hear it pleading for half-hearted mercy as he started on the next one.

"Edward! Edward!" I protested, wiggling away from his hold.

I felt so silly jumping up and off the bed in nothing but frilly panties, scurrying about the room to find my bra to give the girls a break. But I just saw Edward lounging on the bed, hair a mess; shirt wrinkled and belt undone biting on his bottom lip. He looked like a god ready to pose for some catalog for god knows what.

"Gah!" I yelped as I tripped over his cursed shoes in my rush. Scraping my knee on the bed post on my way down to the floor.

"Bella!" he asked in alarm, reaching my side of the bed.

"I'm fine," I groaned trying to at least pull my dress on. He pulled me into his lap, pulling the lose tendrils of hair from my face.

"Are we ever going to get out of the room?" I asked exasperated as he smiled, laying a kiss on my forehead.

"Dance with me," he asked his eyes sparkling.

"I – I can't, I mean…"

"Don't think just come on, we'll cleanup, head back down, just one dance, then I am at your beck and call." He vowed.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I sighed, relenting Edward answering with a searing kiss and a heart stopping panty melting smile.

We eventually made it downstairs, earrings now securely fastened in my ear. Tuxedo clad arms now wrapped around my waist as he grasped my right hand, smirking at my red face.

Then we were off, circling about the marble trap of death, swarming with other twirling sharks, ready to bite my head off specifically for this moment alone.

"Who are you dancing with?" Confused I just started at him, the answer painfully obvious.

"I –" I paused seriously not knowing what to say, an answer unneeded.

"You," I dead panned, Edward chuckling by my apparent-and I'm sure- dumbfounded look on my face.

"Exactly, so don't pay attention to them or anyone else, you don't _need_ to look at them, just right here," his hand leaving mine for two seconds to point to his eyes.

Aye, I could do that.

I relaxed, Edward in turn pulling me closer as I did what he said.

I just looked at him.

This isn't _too_ bad. I eventually thought, Edward's nose coming down to nudge my ear, which was quite ticklish. I actually giggled, feeling my eyes squint, my insides warming by simply being with him.

"Think about _now_, I'll still be here for later." I felt his lips curve against my cheek.

I suppose dancing was the polite way to have awesome PDA in the middle of a crowded room and in front of watching eyes. Edward covering up my horrid hand eye coordination just by all his sexy-hotness in the vicinity.

Twirl, spin step-step, backward, forward.

Within moments I was drowning out everything except his truly.

"May I?" a throat clearing, Edward rumbled into my neck, lifting his face up to give the speaker a once over.

"My, is the competition really this fierce?" he replied, arching a sly brow with a chuckle. I laughed to see the two staring each other down.

"Surely you trust me enough to know that I only offer as a humble father, wading out the inevitability to dance with this lovely lady, seemingly attached to my own son's arm?" he replied with a smile.

Edward rolled his eyes, "And you wonder why I'm such a smart ass, if Mom knew about that sly remark -"

"Then I would surely disown this sorry excuse for a husband," Esme chided grabbing Edward's hand. We were clearly out matched it seemed, I laughed and Edward looked like someone had just ruffled his feathers.

"Very well," he mumbled truly dejected. I smiled and placed a chaste kiss on those pouty sullen lips of his, hopefully to cool his whining.

With that I took Carlisle's arm while Edward took Esme's hand; both leading the way apart from each other.

Ah – so they planned this.

"Now hopefully you'll keep him in line – this one," Carlisle drawled, a sparkle in his eye as we waltzed. A kind smile gracing his lips as he led me across marble and through dancers.

"I haven't been with him long – but I can already tell how much trouble he seems to fall in." he chuckled at this and it made me wonder…

"Do you mind that Edwards…dating – someone like me?"

His perfectly sculpted – inherited by Edward I'm sure – eyebrows arched.

"Pray tell – I'm not quite sure what you mean – someone like you?"

Ugh – was he going to make me spell it out for him?

"A student- his student, someone younger," I blurted out.

His eyes twinkled.

"Surely you remember the conversation you had with Esme in the kitchen, how we came to meet?" he nodded, spinning us around a column and a humongous arrangement of poinsettias, courtesy of Esme.

I nodded with him.

"Then you're aware that this _has_ happened before and while in the beginning I couldn't help but sulk for my son I couldn't very well condemn him on my own hypocrisy." He finished.

I nodded, his statement making sense.

"And for what I feel for Esme – if that is anything close –"he seemed to trail off clearing his throat, bringing his attention to something behind me.

"Good God Edward, I haven't even had her for one dance!"

I giggled at Edward's sheepish expression, tail between his eyes.

"Oh very well," he sighed, not seeming to mind one bit once Esme's hand found his.

* * *

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